Is it uncommon or highly nit recommended for people here to meet?

[Iris Blue]

I know for the most part on here meeting people and making friends is through online, but how often has anyone here met up with them irl? I know there are risks, but if it's in a public busy place I feel like it wouldn't be that dangerous and I just want to be able to talk to someone and have a connection (friendship only) and be able to openly talk about death and plans for it while still feeling like a somewhat normal real conversation. I feel kind of silly wanting someone to talk to so bad I'd consider meeting up with a mostly complete stranger but I feel like most people here all want sorta the same thing and I can relate to the most. I wanted to go visit nyc within the next week and idk anyone else who I asked can't or won't go and I it's not like I can't go alone it just feels better with someone else. It's probably a stupid question but I am somewhat curious if anyone had or heard of experiences and could educate me a bit more?

 

[Edistrying]

I never did but I'm also wanna know :)

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Sure would be risky. There's some really sick and perverted people in this world. It sure isn't far-fetched to think that some of them would make it to a place like this in order to simply find and take advantage of vulnerable people.

 

[Grumble]

If you want to meet people on here, I'd suggest privately messaging someone who piques your interest and seeing where the conversation leads.

I would advise against openly advertising yourself as being interested in meeting up with a stranger, especially if you're female.

What you could do instead is maybe post a couple threads relating to your interests, see who responds and whether you feel any relatability to anyone. Then before privately messaging someone, check out their post history, look for more relatability or possible red flags.

Tell someone you trust IRL (preferably multiple people) what you're doing. If they ask and you don't want to tell them the topic of the site, just tell them it's private and that you'd rather not go into details. Make a check-in schedule with a trusted person. If you meet up with someone, check in with your trusted person according to a schedule. Include video calls as part of that schedule. Establish a code word or phrase you could use to indicate duress. Before going anywhere private with the person or getting into a vehicle, text your trusted contact a thorough description of who you're meeting up with, including car description (license plate), and location details if you can. (A picture or two wouldn't hurt either...)

TRUST YOUR INTUITION.

Even if it's your intention to keep to a public place, make these precautions anyway. Predators know how to manipulate people and talk others into doing things they wouldn't normally do or intend to do.

For the person you're meeting up with, be open with them about the precautions you're taking. Anyone who is worth meeting up with will understand and accommodate it (well, except for pictures, which might be asking a lot even for the most innocently-intentioned). And they could be taking their own precautions as well. If they don't understand or seem upset about it, I would view that as a pretty big red flag.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

It's certainly risky as it is risky to meet strangers in general when we only know them from online forums and chats. It's probably even more difficult to find a person that lives somewhere near you except you have the means to travel round the world sometimes.

Know the risks, and it's your decision at the end. Be careful!

 

[Iris Blue]

If you want to meet people on here, I'd suggest privately messaging someone who piques your interest and seeing where the conversation leads.

I would advise against openly advertising yourself as being interested in meeting up with a stranger, especially if you're female.

What you could do instead is maybe post a couple threads relating to your interests, see who responds and whether you feel any relatability to anyone. Then before privately messaging someone, check out their post history, look for more relatability or possible red flags.

Tell someone you trust IRL (preferably multiple people) what you're doing. If they ask and you don't want to tell them the topic of the site, just tell them it's private and that you'd rather not go into details. Make a check-in schedule with a trusted person. If you meet up with someone, check in with your trusted person according to a schedule. Include video calls as part of that schedule. Establish a code word or phrase you could use to indicate duress. Before going anywhere private with the person or getting into a vehicle, text your trusted contact a thorough description of who you're meeting up with, including car description (license plate), and location details if you can. (A picture or two wouldn't hurt either...)

TRUST YOUR INTUITION.

Even if it's your intention to keep to a public place, make these precautions anyway. Predators know how to manipulate people and talk others into doing things they wouldn't normally do or intend to do.

For the person you're meeting up with, be open with them about the precautions you're taking. Anyone who is worth meeting up with will understand and accommodate it (well, except for pictures, which might be asking a lot even for the most innocently-intentioned). And they could be taking their own precautions as well. If they don't understand or seem upset about it, I would view that as a pretty big red flag.

You make very good points thank you for writing it all out and making it easier to understand by being able to read through it all. I really appreciate it and definitely would take all of those great tips in mind before I would consider meeting someone :)

Sure would be risky. There's some really sick and perverted people in this world. It sure isn't far-fetched to think that some of them would make it to a place like this in order to simply find and take advantage of vulnerable people.

I completely agree I've heard a few stories and although I'd love to believe there are mostly good people out there without sick intentions that unfortunately isn't the world we live in. Thank you so much for your input and it is definitely something I will keep in mind most.

It's certainly risky as it is risky to meet strangers in general when we only know them from online forums and chats. It's probably even more difficult to find a person that lives somewhere near you except you have the means to travel round the world sometimes.

Know the risks, and it's your decision at the end. Be careful!

Thank you for your reply! I definitely agree with you, I would love to be able to just meet someone naturally but it seems difficult to be able to find someone who has the same viewpoints and agrees with the idea of death unless maybe you meet them in a group therapy environment. Definitely does seem like quite a bit extra work trying to find someone nearby too. I'll definitely rethink my consideration.

Also, just wanted to say, I see you react and comment on a lot of posts and I appreciate you helping and giving so much advice to people and am honored you gave your time to reply here :)

 

[brokeandbroken]

I know for the most part on here meeting people and making friends is through online, but how often has anyone here met up with them irl? I know there are risks, but if it's in a public busy place I feel like it wouldn't be that dangerous and I just want to be able to talk to someone and have a connection (friendship only) and be able to openly talk about death and plans for it while still feeling like a somewhat normal real conversation. I feel kind of silly wanting someone to talk to so bad I'd consider meeting up with a mostly complete stranger but I feel like most people here all want sorta the same thing and I can relate to the most. I wanted to go visit nyc within the next week and idk anyone else who I asked can't or won't go and I it's not like I can't go alone it just feels better with someone else. It's probably a stupid question but I am somewhat curious if anyone had or heard of experiences and could educate me a bit more?

I think there should be a period of vetting for sure. Make sure that they are who they say they are. But also it is 2024 people meet after meeting online all the time. It's not as weird as it used to be. If done do it in public though.