is it right to feel upset at my friends?

[mittymittens]

i have had this friendgroup for a few months now and i was pretty happy for awhile then stuff started popping up recently and the more i thought ab it i felt more angry inside and felt like crying

an ex friend who used to be in this friendgroup said something similar as they felt "left out" as they saw my friends making separate group chats with usually the same people. i tried rationalizing my friends behavior because i knew these said groupchats were created due to interests that some people didn't have i guess, but deep down i felt worried

that ex friend is someone i am no longer in contact / no longer in the friendgroup as they did end up saying worse stuff about my friends, talking behind their backs to me insulting them not like above.

as of recently due to stress from unrelated issues i stopped being as active in the main groupchat and now i've been disassociating, feeling like they aren't really my friends

and more lurking around conversations i hear about more groupchats i didn't even kniw about, probably about interests which didn't really bug me at the time but then i hear my friend go "can we invite ___" and another one of my friends go "___ doesn't really know (said topic)"
and then my friend goes "___ doesn't know it either but they are still in it haha"

even though i'm not interested in whatever they are interested in it just makes me feel left out that there are people in groupchats who aren't even interested in topic as well

then it started bothering me a bit but i knew if i started thinking more about it the more it would've bothered me

today, my friend and two other friends are going to see each other and i'm not sure if more people are gonna come with too but they didn't really ask me

i texted my friend who's out seeing my other friends this morning and they didn't really respond but they were openly talking in the server so i'm pretty sure they saw my message

the thing that bothered me the MOST was that one of my friends who i wanted to see this weekend said he was busy and he couldn't hang that day but said he would figure it out but hasn't got back to me. as of today hes right now hanging with my other friends which makes me feel sad?

i dunno if this is valid or not but it's just triggering my bpd a lot and i'm trying not to do anything impulsive because i do not want to start drama

 

[Stuckinpast28]

honestly, it's a bit complicated because we cannot really predict the way it will go. I would recommend to try and talk to someone in the group who is the most level-headed in the group and that you have a good relationship with, explain what you feel, your fear, and all that, and wait to see what he will say, if it blows up then he wasn't a good friend, to begin with, and it would have just been toxic for you. It's important that you talk alone in person saying in chat is gonna cause you more stress than anything and it doesn't convey emotions well. If you want to test that friend tell him in chat that you need to talk and it is important (saying its an emergency could go 50/50 on the good or bad reaction scale) if they agree to talk alone in person with you then it means he cares enough about you to make time in his schedule to help you, if he doesn't try asking another friend. Don't keep that shit bottled in it will poison more and more until it will be too late to heal. I know it is hard to do but it is the only way to clear up your worries.

 

[mittymittens]

honestly, it's a bit complicated because we cannot really predict the way it will go. I would recommend to try and talk to someone in the group who is the most level-headed in the group and that you have a good relationship with, explain what you feel, your fear, and all that, and wait to see what he will say, if it blows up then he wasn't a good friend, to begin with, and it would have just been toxic for you. It's important that you talk alone in person saying in chat is gonna cause you more stress than anything and it doesn't convey emotions well. If you want to test that friend tell him in chat that you need to talk and it is important (saying its an emergency could go 50/50 on the good or bad reaction scale) if they agree to talk alone in person with you then it means he cares enough about you to make time in his schedule to help you, if he doesn't try asking another friend. Don't keep that shit bottled in it will poison more and more until it will be too late to heal. I know it is hard to do but it is the only way to clear up your worries.

well i know he'll put time aside me because i don't think he's a bad person or anyone in that friendgroup it's just they don't realize that sometimes it hurts,

honestly, it's a bit complicated because we cannot really predict the way it will go. I would recommend to try and talk to someone in the group who is the most level-headed in the group and that you have a good relationship with, explain what you feel, your fear, and all that, and wait to see what he will say, if it blows up then he wasn't a good friend, to begin with, and it would have just been toxic for you. It's important that you talk alone in person saying in chat is gonna cause you more stress than anything and it doesn't convey emotions well. If you want to test that friend tell him in chat that you need to talk and it is important (saying its an emergency could go 50/50 on the good or bad reaction scale) if they agree to talk alone in person with you then it means he cares enough about you to make time in his schedule to help you, if he doesn't try asking another friend. Don't keep that shit bottled in it will poison more and more until it will be too late to heal. I know it is hard to do but it is the only way to clear up your worries.

ok so apparently everyone in the friend group all hanged w each other but none of them asked me
and more people are going to six flags and again i'm uninvited
i expressed to my friend and they sympathize i guess, they say i am one of their important ppl in their life but idk just feels off but idk if my mind is going crazy
i feel selfish sort of or senstive but i don't know like how would u guys feel

 

[MidnightGloom]

Friend groups are honestly pretty difficult, especially if there are many people in it. Based on what you wrote in your first post, I would, at first, believe it to be paranoia after hearing another person speak about their troubles. I do find it strange that there are group chats for separate interests, yet they don't invite you to them despite the fact that there are other people who don't share that interest in that group chat.

i expressed to my friend and they sympathize i guess, they say i am one of their important ppl in their life but idk just feels off but idk if my mind is going crazy
i feel selfish sort of or senstive but i don't know like how would u guys feel

I feel that (without more detail on what they said or did to show sympathy) this friend isn't actually very sympathetic towards your feelings. Despite you expressing your concerns, they only say that you are important to them and don't take time to actually think and reflect on the issue. In the end, I also find it strange that you were the only person who was uninvited to a group hangout twice. While it may not be their intention or something they may not notice, they are excluding you from discussions and hangouts. I believe you do have the right to be upset about this. I'd suggest discussing this with more people within your friend group, and if they refuse to acknowledge the issue, or push it off and make it seem less than it is without attempting to address it with everyone, then they really weren't great friends to begin with.

Of course, these are only my thoughts, and I don't know your friends as well as you do. This is just what I'd do in this situation. You could do whatever you want, but to answer your question if it's right to feel upset with them, I believe you are completely justified in your emotions. I'd feel outcasted if I knew that all my friends shared interests I didn't have and would always remain in small groups with each other.