Is it possible to lose all hope, but still be here?

[Lullaby]

I always thought once I lost hope, that would be it. Losing the one thing that's always kept me here, would finally push me to CTB.

I feel like I'm finally at the point, but I'm still here. I've always relied on dreaming about my future and the things I wanted, hoping that if I kept pushing it would happen. Now I'm fully convinced that it won't and I refuse to indulge in that stuff anymore.

I've lost all interest in the things I've felt most passionate about, I didn't realize that fully until yesterday and it was really heartbreaking for me.

I've been completely broken down by the people I cared about the most. The person I'm in love with, lied to me about his feelings, to help make himself less lonely when he didn't have anyone.

My dad continues to let me down like he always has, my mom as manipulative and abusive, and my siblings act like I don't exist. It feels like I have no family. There's only so much disappointment you can take from everyone around.

Throw in life just being hard in general. I don't have anymore desire to keep going on, and I don't have anything I'm hoping or wishing for. I've been struggling since I was a kid, but the last 6 months have completely drained me of anything I had left.

I only have one thing I'm living for at the moment, but otherwise I feel completely empty. I guess I'm just confused. I'm still here, still scared of dying. Does anyone else feel this way?

 

[miserableforever]

I always thought once I lost hope, that would be it. Losing the one thing that's always kept me here, would finally push me to CTB.

I feel like I'm finally at the point, but I'm still here. I've always relied on dreaming about my future and the things I wanted, hoping that if I kept pushing it would happen. Now I'm fully convinced that it won't and I refuse to indulge in that stuff anymore.

I've lost all interest in the things I've felt most passionate about, I didn't realize that fully until yesterday and it was really heartbreaking for me.

I've been completely broken down by the people I cared about the most. The person I'm in love with, lied to me about his feelings, to help make himself less lonely when he didn't have anyone.

My dad continues to let me down like he always has, my mom as manipulative and abusive, and my siblings act like I don't exist. It feels like I have no family. There's only so much disappointment you can take from everyone around.

Throw in life just being hard in general. I don't have anymore desire to keep going on, and I don't have anything I'm hoping or wishing for. I've been struggling since I was a kid, but the last 6 months have completely drained me of anything I had left.

I only have one thing I'm living for at the moment, but otherwise I feel completely empty. I guess I'm just confused. I'm still here, still scared of dying. Does anyone else feel this way?

Yep, here. I'm too lethargic today to write a long post, but I understand and feel the same way.

 

[Samsal112]

Yes, I think it is a normal response. I am where you are. There is no hope for me. I have thought of even the best way my life can play out and it's not something I want to live with. I just came from a thread about high profile suicides, and someone mentioned how partial hanging mostly doesn't work, so how did Kate Spade and Robin Williams succeed? I believe that you have to have a level of confidence to be able to die. I don't feel very confident and being on the autism spectrum, I screw everything up, so why wouldn't my death be the same? I know for me, I am scared of what comes after death. I was raised in the Christian religion for so long that I fear hell. I have been looking into reincarnation and that seems like I will just have to relive all the torment I have already lived again and again until I get it right. I believe there has to be a sense of confidence and that's why we hang on.

 

[Aboutblue]

Yes absolutely. I don't have hope. I don't have goals or dreams. I don't care very much about anything even though I know I have a lot to be thankful for. I'm still stuck here, unable to end it.

I'm sorry you've been let down so much. That's really hard.

 

[chloramine]

I feel that too yeah. It feels wrong- like once you hit whatever point your body should just shut down and be done, but. It keeps going.

I'm sorry your in that situation. Not having anyone makes everything so much harder. Betrayal is a special flavour of bad too.

 

[Passersby]

Yes. I know what you mean. I tried really hard but have lost all hope also. So I'm still here too unfortunately. What really gets me is the fact that I will attempt to go to bed and wake up ever day with the same problems. Same nightmare. Then have to try to deal with it and relive it over and over. I'm trying to figure this out and it's really weird to keep living like this.

 

[Adrenalineaddict]

I lost all hope, my mental state is one comparable to psychological torture but I have failed partial and after that lost all hope of relief by suicide too. I am inmy 20s so my body could live for around 60 more years even after I have gone mad from this torture. I feel guilty from not wanting to try to die again for fear of failing. Condemned. I am in hell.

 

[blue_muse]

I absolutely think it's possible to lose all hope and still be here. You're seeing life and your circumstances objectively, while also being passively rather than actively suicidal .

 

[FuneralCry]

In my case, there is absolutely nothing here for me in this world, and I know that the future will just get worse. Life is just unnecessary problems and suffering with no relief. Of course it's possible to lose hope and still be here as suicide is so difficult after all. If dying is easier I would already be gone. I have never wanted to live, but I am only still here as I fear the method failing. Nobody should have to suffer in this life and to me it's horrible how so much pain exists.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

You get to a point and you have absolutely no willpower to do anything in life… And you think that somehow you will spontaneously die… But you don't… Your body just continues living after your spirit is dead… And then you realize there's millions and millions of people who are living like this day after day… And the only way it's going to end is if you do something radical

 

[blue_muse]

You get to a point and you have absolutely no willpower to do anything in life… And you think that somehow you will spontaneously die… But you don't… Your body just continues living after your spirit is dead… And then you realize there's millions and millions of people who are living like this day after day… And the only way it's going to end is if you do something radical

Beautifully put . It's as though you've checked out mentally, but physically going through life's daily motions.

 

[Lullaby]

Yes. I know what you mean. I tried really hard but have lost all hope also. So I'm still here too unfortunately. What really gets me is the fact that I will attempt to go to bed and wake up ever day with the same problems. Same nightmare. Then have to try to deal with it and relive it over and over. I'm trying to figure this out and it's really weird to keep living like this.

I completely get this. I woke up this morning tried to keep my eyes shut. My dreams are my own slice of heaven; I'm not me, I'm not here, the people I know don't exist. Just a totally different universe, then I wake up and it's back to this horrible reality. It really does feel like a endless nightmare.

You get to a point and you have absolutely no willpower to do anything in life… And you think that somehow you will spontaneously die… But you don't… Your body just continues living after your spirit is dead… And then you realize there's millions and millions of people who are living like this day after day… And the only way it's going to end is if you do something radical

Like someone else mentioned, I wonder if everyone has a breaking point? I guess everybody has a different threshold, but turning into an empty husk definitely feels like it. If that's not enough, then I wonder what is. It's really jarring to go on everyday like this.

Thank you guys for all of the comments. Sometimes it's easy to forget so many of us are waking up and dealing with the same thing. Even if you all aren't physically here, it makes me feel less alone.

 

[Keto]

I can relate. I lost all hope and have no energy to continue. I have been in this status since 2019, yet still here because of my family and kids.

 

[Funeralprincess]

I always thought once I lost hope, that would be it. Losing the one thing that's always kept me here, would finally push me to CTB.

I feel like I'm finally at the point, but I'm still here. I've always relied on dreaming about my future and the things I wanted, hoping that if I kept pushing it would happen. Now I'm fully convinced that it won't and I refuse to indulge in that stuff anymore.

I've lost all interest in the things I've felt most passionate about, I didn't realize that fully until yesterday and it was really heartbreaking for me.

I've been completely broken down by the people I cared about the most. The person I'm in love with, lied to me about his feelings, to help make himself less lonely when he didn't have anyone.

My dad continues to let me down like he always has, my mom as manipulative and abusive, and my siblings act like I don't exist. It feels like I have no family. There's only so much disappointment you can take from everyone around.

Throw in life just being hard in general. I don't have anymore desire to keep going on, and I don't have anything I'm hoping or wishing for. I've been struggling since I was a kid, but the last 6 months have completely drained me of anything I had left.

I only have one thing I'm living for at the moment, but otherwise I feel completely empty. I guess I'm just confused. I'm still here, still scared of dying. Does anyone else feel this way?

Yeah the man I'm still in love with (five years later) did that to me too. He made it seem after we broke up he wanted to try again, but he was just lonely. It's very damaging to ones self esteem. It's a big reaosn I'm killing myself because it's left years of trauma and scars after

 

[thedaywillcome]

Hope is survival instinct. If you dont have hope anymore, this means your SI is reduced.For me thats the case now.