Discussion Is it okay not having goals?

[Oguzok]

All my life I was surrounded by people, in the classroom, on the street, who dreamed of something more or less serious, at least what could be called a dream/goal. Become a businessman, or a popular artist, travel the world, etc. All my life I lived with the thought that I wouldn't live to see 18 and it didn't matter to me how I died. Therefore, I never made any plans; I simply lived in the hope of a peaceful tomorrow. And now I'm 18, my life has been turned upside down, forcing me to make serious adult decisions, and decide what I want? Perhaps it's my depression or apathy that speaks to me, but I realized that a measured lifestyle where you get up, have breakfast, draw a commission, talk to friends on Discord, play games and go to bed suits me well. Am I ready to live my whole life like this? Yes, perhaps... But over time, on social media I see more and more people with specific goals in life, I live in Russia, and many here dream of learning another language and leaving the country, and reproach everyone who does not think the same, wishing you I quote "Rot here." I don't know, my dream is very abstract, I just want to be happy, not experience anymore stress and global changes against my will... Is this the result of my mental problems or can I really have simple desires from life?

 

[vak]

I don't want to sound patronizing but you are only 18, it's completely normal not to have your life figured out, nobody really has at that age. When you're 40 that might or might not be a problem depending on your stance but you expect too much from yourself right now. Take it easy and try to do the right choices when you can.

And social media does not present reality, life of most people is mundane but nobody posts that.

 

[Raven2]

I think my depression and lack of motivation prevents me from having goals right now but when I was younger I definitely had goals... learn to drive, have a relationship, get married, work a decent job. But all the while just wanting to have a simple life. I did manage to achieve want I wanted. Your still young enough to figure out what you want from life even if it is just to live simply. Do what makes you happy I guess.

 

[Ambivalent1]

You have goals. Whatever need presses upon you is your goal. Eating, etc. That's all you need to concern yourself with.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I personally think that it's valid to not have goals though I think that not having goals makes life harder. Nonetheless, I still believe that it's valid to not have goals as you never even asked to be here to begin with; I just find it weird that people expect us to have goals when we got involuntarily put on this planet to begin with

That said, I do think that not having goals makes life harder (though I'm not fully sure and I hope I'm wrong) as, regardless of whether you have goals or not, the truth is that you have to work no matter what if you want to continue living. This work, no matter what it is, will inevitably make you stressed out repeatedly as that's just the nature of work. Your simple desires are heavily contingent on the work that you do.

Either way, I hope that you find peace soon

 

[Forever Sleep]

Really, anything we feel is fine if we ourselves are ok with it and obviously- if we aren't hurting other people.

Your outlook on life could in fact be ideal. I've always had ambition and, it hasn't made me very happy! With ambition and goals comes the possibility- even likelihood of failure.

Asides from that though, other people will happily also tell you you are failing if you haven't achieved certain things by certain ages- some might at least. Then, it really comes down to whether you let that get to you or not.

But no- I wouldn't say there was anything wrong with it. Especially if you can find a lifestyle that brings you satisfaction. That's what counts.

 

[cyandude]

I've found my ultimate goal to be death from the wee age of ten years old. I knew I was too different to be able to fit into society and be able to sustain myself a decent life, I would never be able to maintain a decent relationship or have any kind of affair that would give me atleast a bit of guaranteed happiness. I was apathetic and anhedonic for so long it feels like years of my life had been removed from me. Now I'm 18 and ready to have a shot at anything that will ensure I die.

 

[sserafim]

I think that it's perfectly okay to not have any goals. I think that society places too much emphasis on job/career and productivity. Society seems to value ambition, success, productivity, and achievement, even though the meaning of life is not to be productive, successful or achieve things. People were not meant to be wageslaves or worker bees, yet society expects us to. Society has a rulebook for success (career, partner, children, family, house) and most people blindly follow that guide in order to be deemed successful, without realizing their own personal values, wants and desires. The world is so career-oriented that even as a kid, people ask and expect you to know what you want to be when you grow up. It seems like society only defines people by their profession and not by their qualities. Personally, the only goal I have is to escape this prison planet.

I've found my ultimate goal to be death from the wee age of ten years old. I knew I was too different to be able to fit into society and be able to sustain myself a decent life, I would never be able to maintain a decent relationship or have any kind of affair that would give me atleast a bit of guaranteed happiness. I was apathetic and anhedonic for so long it feels like years of my life had been removed from me. Now I'm 18 and ready to have a shot at anything that will ensure I die.

Same

 

[Joker2003]

The majority of people with big dreams never achieve them. I used to dream of getting a PhD in psychology or history, but I am far too unintelligent and demotivated to ever accomplish that.

Desiring a simple life is a great thing and you shouldn't worry about what other people think. Being happy, content, and self-sufficient is what matters most.