Discussion Is it ok lo tose virginity to a prostitute?

[Sadbanana]

I'm 23 male. I have light asperger(maybe, not confirmed but makes sence) and adhd, social anxiety. Also cptsd, because my parents broke up andlot of things in my childhood were awful. I'm sort of giving up on looking for girlfriend. I know girls can smell my psychological problems and don't find them attractive. I used to try to talk to as many as possible, because I had some hope it will help, but only thing it helped so far was getting heart broken and feeling like a complete loser. I know if I was able to do this strategy, maybe like couple more year, grinding and trying to prove myself to this dumb society instead of enjoying my life, it would eventually work maybe. I'm not able to tho, I'm very sensitive person and this is just more than I can handle, doing it makes me suicidial.

Now I'm kind of thinking is it all even worth it are women worth it. Not saying that they are bad or something. But are they worth it, for me to put in this much effort, becuase to me it is just completely fucked up. Most attractive woman just sit back and chose between many guys that aproach them and then judge them, instead of having to do literally anything, how where is the part it's fair? I want to spit on this whole "game", this is not what love is supposed to be.

I'm tired of being virgin, I want sex. Finding a prostitute that satisfy my standards isn't difficult. But I was idealistic my whole life, hoping I'll lose my virginity during some sort of wholesome long-term relationship, I'm also very romantic person, I'm afraid what if doing it like this will make me feel worse. And maybe it will make me feel better and help me relax a bit, realize things are not that serious, maybe it will actually help me to get through that barrier inside me and open up, maybe it's good to throw my idealism out a window.

Do you think this is a loser thing to do? If I ever have girlfirend after will I be able to tell her without, her finding me repulsive for doing it?

 

[Just_Another_Person]

You realize you objectify women and your discourse is full of misogyny? Good luck finding a girl thinking that way.

About the main question, "loser" has nothing to do with it. It's your decision. And assuming you get a gf in the future (again, good luck finding one with your discourse), unless she is a prude, super religious or conservative, she won't care.

 

[Aloneandinpain]

Constant rejection is definitely very painful to deal with. Each one takes away a little piece of our soul, dignity and well being. That's not to mention the massive amount of time it takes just to be in a position to chat with someone you like and to be in a position to be rejected. The loss isn't merely the rejection from that individual person, but also destroying all the effort it take to get there. I'm pretty sure enough rejections in a row with zero hint of success over a long enough period would be fatal, either causing CTB or simply a heart attack from stress, loneliness and heartbreak.

The key question to ask is if you're just looking for sex, or are you actually looking for sex with intimacy, love, romance and a connection?

I personally think going the sex worker route doesn't count, is the loser option and would make things worse for me. You indicated you're the sensitive type who is hurt by endless rejection so I expect you'd be the same.

I don't really know what the answer is, but I will say that it's definitely not dating apps if you're an average looking guy.

 

[WhiteRabbit]

And assuming you get a gf in the future (again, good luck finding one with your discourse), unless she is a prude, super religious or conservative, she won't care.

I don't necessarily think women are prudes for not wanting to date guys who see sex workers. Even if you do your research it can be hard know for sure that someone isn't being trafficked or abused in some way. Some women won't care but I think a lot will.

'm tired of being virgin, I want sex. Finding a prostitute that satisfy my standards isn't difficult. But I was idealistic my whole life, hoping I'll lose my virginity during some sort of wholesome long-term relationship, I'm also very romantic person, I'm afraid what if doing it like this will make me feel worse. And maybe it will make me feel better and help me relax a bit, realize things are not that serious, maybe it will actually help me to get through that barrier inside me and open up, maybe it's good to throw my idealism out a window.

You'll lose your V card but you probably won't get the validation you're seeking from paid encounter.

 

[Sadbanana]

Constant rejection is definitely very painful to deal with. Each one takes away a little piece of our soul, dignity and well being. That's not to mention the massive amount of time it takes just to be in a position to chat with someone you like and to be in a position to be rejected. The loss isn't merely the rejection from that individual person, but also destroying all the effort it take to get there. I'm pretty sure enough rejections in a row with zero hint of success over a long enough period would be fatal, either causing CTB or simply a heart attack from stress, loneliness and heartbreak.

The key question to ask is if you're just looking for sex, or are you actually looking for sex with intimacy, love, romance and a connection?

I personally think going the sex worker route doesn't count, is the loser option and would make things worse for me. You indicated you're the sensitive type who is hurt by endless rejection so I expect you'd be the same.

I don't really know what the answer is, but I will say that it's definitely not dating apps if you're an average looking guy.

You are right it hurts a lot. I tried tinder and I look fairly ok, but like almost every match ended with either her ghosting me or me being too fed up with the minimal effort they put into responses. One time I got really attached to one girl and we were texting like for over month and it was great becuase she didn't expect me to hold the conversation on my shoulders, actually I sometimes felt shy but she managed to relax me and be more myself. I've never seen her in person, but I knew whatever she really looks like I'll accept her. The day before we should've met irl she ghosted me. After long time trying to contact her she said she likes someone else.

I would probably even prefer romantic relationship without much sex, just a cute and wholesome stuff over meaningless sex.

On the other hand in past I did extreme mistakes. I actually rejected some girls hitting on me, back then I found it superficial and didn't like it. They were like 9/10, not that it metters, I was around 14 at the time, but I know if I wasn't such idialistic moron, now I wouldn't have issue finding a girlfriend with that experience.

That's why I'm considering this, maybe the experience I'll get will help me, despite it being not real.

 

[amnesia999]

Finding a prostitute that satisfy my standards isn't difficult. But I was idealistic my whole life, hoping I'll lose my virginity during some sort of wholesome long-term relationship,

Oh, get over yourself.

Do you think this is a loser thing to do?

No. Protect yourself (e.g. wear a condom and ask about STDs) then go have a good time.

If I ever have girlfirend after will I be able to tell her without, her finding me repulsive for doing it?

No, she won't find you repulsive if you tell her. If she does, you find another girlfriend who doesn't.

 

[Sadbanana]

Oh, get over yourself.


No. Protect yourself (e.g. wear a condom and ask about STDs) then go have a good time.


No, she won't find you repulsive if you tell her. If she does, you find another girlfriend who doesn't.

Thank you. Love your aswers. You are sort of like the inner voice, that doesn't want me to kill myself

 

[-nobodyknows-]

I don't really understand why you would want to, but there's nothing really wrong with it I guess

 

[lamargue]

nothing wrong with it, but it won't solve your problems. but i understand completely, and it's very natural to feel how you do. don't understand why others are so compelled to disparage you on this account

 

[Just_Another_Person]

I really don't expect someone like you to understand. I'm not a mysogynist and if you see it in my words it's probably becuase you want to. If I had a gf I would treat her right. Sorry, but if you can't relate maybe don't respond, just accept there are things your emotional empathy is not capable of understanding.

I tried to give you a tip, but since you want,, let's play :)

I know girls can smell my psychological problems and don't find them attractive

Yes, they say it smell like avocado. And obviously women have perfect mental health, never suffering from it. They also are monsters incapable of having understanding and caring for people who suffer psychological problems.

I used to try to talk to as many as possible,

Sure shooting everywhere is a nice thing to do, specially for someone... how did you define yourself? Oh, it is "romantic person" right?

I know if I was able to do this strategy, maybe like couple more year, grinding and trying to prove myself to this dumb society instead of enjoying my life, it would eventually work maybe.

Because if what you are doing results in you "losing" keeping the same strategy eventually will work. How could I not think that?

I'm not able to tho, I'm very sensitive person and this is just more than I can handle, doing it makes me suicidial.

As much as I want to give an answer to this, per forum rules I can't.

Now I'm kind of thinking is it all even worth it are women worth it. [...] But are they worth it, for me to put in this much effort, becuase to me it is just completely fucked up

Women are not objects for you to think if they are "worth or not". If you think some woman will magically fall on your lap and love you forever, you are completely delusional, how someone is supposed to fall for you if you don't even want to make effort? Btw, relationships require work, have ups and downs so if you don't think it is "worth" trying make someone have interest in you, no way you can handle a relationship.

Not saying that they are bad or something

Are you sure you are not saying that? Let's look what you say next.

Most attractive woman just sit back and chose between many guys that aproach them and then judge them, instead of having to do literally anything, how where is the part it's fair? I want to spit on this whole "game", this is not what love is supposed to be.

Do you think women like having many man that "approaching" them? Quite the opposite, the big majority are uninteresting, rude and list goes on. I also noticed you said "attractive women", clearly indicating you wouldn't settle for an "unattractive" one. Why should they should settle for you? And women who don't fit the "beauty standard" stereotype have the same problems dating as men that don't fit the same stereotype. Actually it is worse, but this topic alone would take too much time to discuss and I have to cook dinner. Oh, and sure a wise and experienced guy like you know what love is right? What a joke.

But I was idealistic my whole life, hoping I'll lose my virginity during some sort of wholesome long-term relationship, I'm also very romantic person,

Treating women the way you do and "trying" like you said in this post, you will never get it.

Now back to your second post

I really don't expect someone like you to understand. I'm not a mysogynist and if you see it in my words it's probably becuase you want to. If I had a gf I would treat her right. Sorry, but if you can't relate maybe don't respond, just accept there are things your emotional empathy is not capable of understanding.

Poor you, misunderstood little boy. "I am not misogynist [...] If I had a gf I would treat her right" HAHAHAHAHA.

Sorry, but if you can't relate maybe don't respond, just accept there are things your emotional empathy is not capable of understanding.

Emotional empathy? For you? You don't respect women yet say this. ZZZZZ. I don't even feel pity for you.

@WhiteRabbit See or saw? I assumed it would be a one time thing.