Discussion Is it normal for most people to struggle really badly in their 20s

[Makko]

This was the route I took as well but the money didnt do it or else I wouldn't have been drinking booze for lunch and sleeping on my office floor. The Porsche at 28 didn't do it either. Not gonna lie, the house was the shit. I miss that. But yah careers that take years to build can be ruined in short order. Take it from me, a former medical device executive who now drives a semi truck

You married. That's the big yikes of your strategy. Pretty obvious in retrospect of course, but still.

I've said it in another thread but getting wealthy isn't worth it just for the luxury consumtpion. The point of wealth is the social status it potentially brings and the new ways of life this unlocks. It's not worth sacrificing your 20s drinking booze for lunch and sleeping on your office floor if all your want is an average middle class life with a few extra toys. At least that's my view.

 

[Octavina]

I'm sure for you all the quarantine is making everything feel worse, it's like the entire world feels so dead, and when the depression is at its highest point, you only see the darkness and pain in others. I've been in the care system my whole teens, now I'm technically homeless in the councils eyes but I live in a small 1 room flat. I'm happy but alone, but if I fail my next ctb I will loose this home and be put into a psych ward again. My mum will hate me forever, so I pray I am not found. I have so much respect for people on this site who've made it past theirs 20s, it's the worst

 

[aneurysm]

My 20s were hard because I was struggling with school and being a newbie at work. I was also heartbroken a lot. But they were nothing compared to my 30s and 40s when my health deteriorated to the point that my life became unbearable.

I think that the 30s and 40s can be better for normal people without health issues. I think you get a bit stronger once you have weathered the storms of the 20s. I definitely felt wiser and craved less things as I got older. I became less desperate, calmer in a sense. Too bad my GAD worsened and destroyed me.

All the best to you @Daisy I hope the future will be kind to you.

By health issues, you mean mental or physical health issues? This is terrible either way. tbh at this point, Idk which one is worse.

I hope you're doing better now?

 

[Final Escape]

I can't possibly think of anything worse than being in your 20s. prove me wrong.

also, is it normal for most people to suffer really badly in their 20s?

I suffered real bad in my 20's because of undiagnosed borderline personality disorder. It really messed up my life pretty good. But the 20's are trying times for most people. But with Covid this is not like other times. The destruction that this Scamdemic is causing will make people's 20's even more awful than any other gen in history.

 

[Callie Arcale]

By health issues, you mean mental or physical health issues? This is terrible either way. tbh at this point, Idk which one is worse.

I hope you're doing better now?

My mental issues caused physical problems (dizziness, extreme fatigue, tinnitus, chronic pain, palpitations, nausea, migraines, light/sound sensitivity, intolerance to physical activity). It's hard to have a life when your body shuts down. I am functioning right now, but just barely. I only work and then crash. I have zero life quality.

 

[Apathy79]

The reason normies rave about 20s is because for many people it's exciting, and the opportunities it presents are the best in life.

I went to Uni, got a job in the field I thought I wanted then, moved out from home, dated many girls, got engaged, played loads of sport, quit my job, tried to become an online millionaire, broke up, got real spiritual, travelled extensively, at 27/8 Facebook came alive and I found out what everyone I knew was up to and started adjusting to the sharing life online space. It was exciting.

I should preface that by saying I did well in school, so had essentially all options available to me. My family wasn't wealthy but here that's not a huge deal as everyone can get loans for Uni that don't need to be paid off until they earn a certain amount. I was never good looking but I was fit, healthy, had great prospects and had a completely unjustified level of self confidence that made dating possible despite that. Most importantly I was physically and mentally healthy, which I assume are the biggest blocks to others seeing their 20s the same way.

Sometime during my early 30s, I had lost interest in relationships, my options had shrunk, I wasn't fit or healthy anymore, had no real money or prospects, everything had slowed right down. By mid 30s, I was a complete hermit with no external contact which has continued into my 40s, and likely will until I die. Which isn't a bad thing by any means, just different - in my 20s I liked the excitement, in my 40s I like the solitude, which is just as well, because the excitement of the 20s is gone for good.

I think most people that say 20s is the best time of your life view it like I did. New found freedom, access to the best dating pool in life, young love, best health in life, and a buffet of career and hobby options to choose from. For them, it is the best time in their life and it doesn't last long enough. But not everyone is in the same boat - physical/mental/family/financial/trauma/other issues can cause a huge shift in how that whole field is viewed and experienced so it's not the same for all.

 

[stygal]

Not being completely done with my 20s I can only say they've been one hell of a ride. From the highest highs to the lowest lows. Having gone through as many changes and uncertainties than never before in my life. Though I must say particularly the time after school from 20-23 was kind of weird and all over the place. I had a social life, partied, relationships, tried out stuff, felt ~alive~ but then it turned into a more painful experience with the beginning of my chronic pain and soon every day was overshadowed by it and most of the good things turned out the be short-lived highs.
I stopped being in contact with most of those friends, relationships crumbled and I didn't go out anymore plus some job opportunities got taken away from me by not being able to "perform" anymore.
Had two burn-outs, a big set back with my anorexia and developed an even stronger depression. Fun times.
Just now - slowly - I'm finding my way back into a more "normal" life and actually start not seeing all the problems I have as me being completely doomed. I learned a lot that's for sure.

 

[DocNo]

for me also the 20ies were the beginning of the end. i did fly too close to the sun and crashed hard on the ground of depression and anxiety building slowly up from 23 to 25. at one day i did wake up and felt like shit. but it was only the result of a build up which at this point became obvious and manifested in feeling just destroyed from the inside.
it was just too much. drugs, non-stop party, toxic friends, trying to start a company with no real plan, breakup with a girlfriend, refusing to take any responsibility for my life. this house of cards then just collapsed and buried me.

 

[sadbadpsychogirl]

my 20's were fine but the thirties.. oh god a nightmare

 

[GarbageFactory]

I'm 19 going on 20. It's not as horrific as high school, but man it's still not super great being friendless and isolated.

 

[awfullife]

You married. That's the big yikes of your strategy. Pretty obvious in retrospect of course, but still.

I've said it in another thread but getting wealthy isn't worth it just for the luxury consumtpion. The point of wealth is the social status it potentially brings and the new ways of life this unlocks. It's not worth sacrificing your 20s drinking booze for lunch and sleeping on your office floor if all your want is an average middle class life with a few extra toys. At least that's my view.

40k a month at 28 years old is hardly middle class and some extra toys. I was making strike money and yes the prestige was what was addictive. All the fancy stuff wasn't that fulfilling.

scary shit. what is your story? what exactly happened to you? (if you don't mind).

Corporate transplant overachiever and people pleaser gets a break in highly lucrative and highly volatile straight commission medical device career and kills it. Makes ass loads of money. Spends ass loads of money.

Got married / Got divorced. 150k in legal fees and she kept half of everything. I blew my portion in 2 years and had a mental breakdown. Career was toast. Recruiters told me in should start my own business as old business climate completely changed. Now i drive a semi truck.

No medical companies dont hire you after you become a truck driver. No just because you were a killer sales rep doesnt mean another industry will hire you. They wont. I make more as a truck driver than 95% of entry level sales jobs
I cant afford to live alone after paying child support (1500 month) so I live in a different state with my dad. No they wont lower it. I've tried.

 

[aneurysm]

40k a month at 28 years old

Corporate transplant overachiever

No medical companies dont hire you after you become a truck driver

I'm really sorry about what happened to you. If you don't mind, I'd like to point out that something feel off to me about your experience (obviously, I'm not saying that you are lying), maybe you're leaving some critical information out (for it to make sense). I find it hard to believe that after being such a super star, nobody will hire you (even after you being a truck driver) (also, if it's such an issue for employers, maybe it's be better not to mention it?) (Idk, maybe I just don't understand that particular industry...).

 

[Lifeiskillingme]

Im in my late 20s and feel near death
27 club

 

[BitterlyAlive_]

It seems like it. There are a lot of transitions and expectations on people in that age bracket. People likely don't know themselves yet, which doesn't help. Throw in the state of the world with those issues and it's expected that people will struggle a lot.

 

[NodusTollens]

Not sure how it is/was for everyone else, for me, I was an easy target- weak willed & likely to fall into peer pressure (drugs mostly). I realized I had poor social skills, so making friends wasn't something I excelled in, so I drank a lot trying to fit in & made a lot of stupid mistakes. Realized the hard way- in a lot of situations- who my real "friends" were, I was always the convenient friend.

Couple that with a few undiagnosed MH problems & you've got: interpersonal problems, assaults, mismanaged school stress, incurred debt from programs I'll never profit from, parties, attempts, & tears.

 

[awfullife]

I'm really sorry about what happened to you. If you don't mind, I'd like to point out that something feel off to me about your experience (obviously, I'm not saying that you are lying), maybe you're leaving some critical information out (for it to make sense). I find it hard to believe that after being such a super star, nobody will hire you (even after you being a truck driver) (also, if it's such an issue for employers, maybe it's be better not to mention it?) (Idk, maybe I just don't understand that particular industry...).

People who make substantial sums of money are able to influence major decision holders because of their relationships. In my case, I have very few relationships now due to client relocation, retirement, and separation. Plus tbh, you are naive about age discrimination. I'm 41 and experience it all the time with recruiters , prospective hiring managers. 25 is a much better age to start over than 41 in high level sales. I cant even find sales opportunities with much upside let alone stomach the starting salary substantially less than I make as a truck driver.

 

[Ashley_1988]

my 20's were fine but the thirties.. oh god a nightmare

I totally feel you I am 32 and I´ve been suffering from depression for years now. When I am reading through my old journals i realized that back than i still felt the hope that someday it might get better. But now being in my early thirtieth seeing that my siblings my friends are having their lives with good jobs, own families etc..it makes me so much more sad. not that I am not happy for them. But it becomes clear to me that the stuff I was hoping to change in my live just did not happen moreover it makes me feel like yes i tried at least for what its worse

But it didn´t change for the better..