Discussion Is it normal for most people to struggle really badly in their 20s

[aneurysm]

I can't possibly think of anything worse than being in your 20s. prove me wrong.

also, is it normal for most people to suffer really badly in their 20s?

 

[Life_and_Death]

being only 21 i cant answer that but as of right now i dont plan on being alive to see 22 although i suspect something will fuck that up for me

 

[SmellyRat]

Pretty much.

The old illusions of hope that youth gave suddenly vanish.

 

[aneurysm]

The old illusions of hope that youth gave suddenly vanish.

Sometimes, I really resent movies and books for implanting this ideal in me. so vile.

 

[asecretexit]

I feel like our generation, having been brought up with the internet coming into the mainstream, have become hyper-aware of the politics surrounding and threatening us. Even if you don't class yourself as particularly interested with politics, it is hard to ignore the fact that the 'norm', that being getting your own house, holding a steady job, etc, that which we consider a successful life, is stupidly hard. Working jobs that we hate, engaging in education that only pertains to one way of thinking and learning. Just existing in a capitalist society where there are people with more money than sense living alongside people who do not even have a roof over their heads. There are so many old-fashioned expectations that have remained in society despite them getting harder and harder to achieve. I think it's fair that we all feel a bit dire.

 

[Good4Nothing]

I'm 48.
Yes, 20s are hard.
If you can make it through your 20s, it does get a little easier.
But it's still hard.

 

[wordsonscreen]

Apparently so haha

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

20s is the new teens compared to a few decades ago.

 

[awfullife]

I shredded my 20s..I was a corporate transplant hero making assloads of money ...then got married and all went downhill. I'm 41, broke, and live with my dad. Life is awful at most ages.

 

[Superdeterminist]

I don't know tbh. But I do know that for me, it's been such a long time feeling shitty, that even if it stops now, I can't see how that would justify all that time spent being miserable. And for me, it absolutely does need to be justified. I cannot see how any amount of joy could justify/redeem it at this point. The damage is done you, know? I feel resentful every single day.

 

[wordsonscreen]

I don't know tbh. But I do know that for me, it's been such a long time feeling shitty, that even if it stops now, I can't see how that would justify all that time spent being miserable. And for me, it absolutely does need to be justified. I cannot see how any amount of joy could justify/redeem it at this point. The damage is done you, know? I feel resentful every single day.

THIS. yes yes. I cannot think of anything that would make it worth justifying all the damage. I dont see how even if all my wildest dreams came true, how could I live with the memories of my past? The weight is too much.

 

[WornOutLife]

The best and worst moments of my life were around my 20s so, I don't think it's that atypical to feel like that.
However, you're very young and you should have some fun.
Trust me, after your 30s things get reaaaaallly complicated and some health problems might appear.

Still, I'm 33 and now I'm feeling quite good.

Wish you the best and I insist, you're so young that I envy you lol

 

[Loser47]

I'm 24 and can't deal with shit. Too much to cope

 

[OpheliasFlowers]

My 20s were in the late 80s into the 90s, but even then yes it was indeed a struggle and things were hard. First of all you feel EVERYTHING so much more intensely and deeply, everything MATTERS so much more - and so that makes life more painful in general. I struggled with school, discovering who I was (never did figure that out. lol), the relationships with my parents, romantic relationships, looking for work, money. Some people have a really fun time in their 20s too though and say it was the best and most exciting time in their lives (it WAS more exciting at that age, I'll give them that...) but yeah, a person's 20s are tough. So much to figure out, and everything is heightened and you just feel things more, good and bad.

 

[FarAcrossTheWater]

Why does everyone say your 20s are the best decade?

 

[wordsonscreen]

Why does everyone say your 20s are the best decade?

lies

 

[FarAcrossTheWater]

How does it get any better?

 

[wordsonscreen]

How does it get any better?

crying maybe :p drugs?

 

[FarAcrossTheWater]

crying maybe :p drugs?

80 year olds hopped up on drugs?

 

[wordsonscreen]

80 year olds hopped up on drugs?

hehe yes. would be cute

 

[Trisolaris]

No, it's not normal, but it's not normal at any age. Most live a normal life and some suffer. At any age.

 

[Makko]

It depends on your life strategy. I'm a careerist and chose a life that means investing all of your 20s into work, but the further you go the easier it becomes, and soon you start swimming in money and status and everyone starts lining up to kiss your butt. It's a life that places all the hard times early so that you can live the middle and late stages in comfort. As a woman you can, instead of trying to make a huge career, spend your youthful effort on securing a good husband. It's also a form of work.

If you choose the slacker route you get to have lots of fun in your 20s but afterwards the curve points downwards. Past a certain age, life will start throwing problems at you that you can't resolve on the fly. You start needing resources, and if you didn't secure any resources in your youth, you're in trouble. I know many people my age who chose this route and about this age (28) the party begins to die down and is being replaced with... nothing.

 

[aneurysm]

It depends on your life strategy. I'm a careerist and chose a life that means investing all of your 20s into work, but the further you go the easier it becomes, and soon you start swimming in money and status and everyone starts lining up to kiss your butt. It's a life that places all the hard times early so that you can live the middle and late stages in comfort.

Best life strategy if we're going to be honest. I'm definitely copying you. Everyone expects me to get married and have children but there's no way I'm taking this route. I'd rather invest my time into learning maths, sciences and engineering and getting multiples degrees etc. If later in life I feel lonely due to lack of children etc, I'll just join a child-free club or something.

I can't think of a better life path. Anything else is just too hazardous.

 

[Makko]

Best life strategy if we're going to be honest. I'm definitely copying you. Everyone expects me to get married and have children but there's no way I'm taking this route. I'd rather invest my time into learning maths, sciences and engineering and getting multiples degrees etc. If later in life I feel lonely due to lack of children etc, I'll just join a child-free club or something.

I can't think of a better life path. Anything else is just too hazardous.

Good luck, then. I think it's worth it. Most people will not agree, especially here. It can ruin you. But so can the other ways of life, so I don't see that as a repelling factor.

I think you've seen this in my work thread but a tip is to not overdo the degrees and start getting work experience in your discipline and getting your foot into networks as soon as possible. The start is the absolute hardest and then it gets easier the further you go.

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

Most people never really struggle at any point, no. That's why we don't have OTC Nembutal. I got completely fucked by mental illness and the "help" and "treatment" just stole a bunch of time. So now I've lowered my sights and accepted that I can't become what I thought I could. If I'm lucky I'll become a wage slave, get a hunting license and then go out with a bang. Btw, this is referring to suicide not murder, thanks.

btw, unblock me

 

[aneurysm]

btw, unblock me

I haven't blocked you Genes, my settings are just on private :)

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

I haven't blocked you Genes, my settings are just on private :)

Good, the joker squad has to stick together.

 

[awfullife]

It depends on your life strategy. I'm a careerist and chose a life that means investing all of your 20s into work, but the further you go the easier it becomes, and soon you start swimming in money and status and everyone starts lining up to kiss your butt. It's a life that places all the hard times early so that you can live the middle and late stages in comfort. As a woman you can, instead of trying to make a huge career, spend your youthful effort on securing a good husband. It's also a form of work.

If you choose the slacker route you get to have lots of fun in your 20s but afterwards the curve points downwards. Past a certain age, life will start throwing problems at you that you can't resolve on the fly. You start needing resources, and if you didn't secure any resources in your youth, you're in trouble. I know many people my age who chose this route and about this age (28) the party begins to die down and is being replaced with... nothing.

This was the route I took as well but the money didnt do it or else I wouldn't have been drinking booze for lunch and sleeping on my office floor. The Porsche at 28 didn't do it either. Not gonna lie, the house was the shit. I miss that. But yah careers that take years to build can be ruined in short order. Take it from me, a former medical device executive who now drives a semi truck

 

[aneurysm]

careers that take years to build can be ruined in short order.

scary shit. what is your story? what exactly happened to you? (if you don't mind).

 

[Callie Arcale]

My 20s were hard because I was struggling with school and being a newbie at work. I was also heartbroken a lot. But they were nothing compared to my 30s and 40s when my health deteriorated to the point that my life became unbearable.

I think that the 30s and 40s can be better for normal people without health issues. I think you get a bit stronger once you have weathered the storms of the 20s. I definitely felt wiser and craved less things as I got older. I became less desperate, calmer in a sense. Too bad my GAD worsened and destroyed me.

All the best to you @Daisy I hope the future will be kind to you.