Discussion Is it 'natural' to forgive or, is it purely something we are taught?

[Forever Sleep]

I think it's probably entirely taught. Mostly in the hopes of maintaining an orderly sociecty. If everyone continually held grudges and went for revenge constantly, we'd be at each other's throats- more than we are already.

Rather than that, we are taught it's more productive to examine their behaviour. To shift the blame onto society, parenting, mental illness. I guess that makes sense, if we can improve in those areas.

I wonder if animals consciously forgive or, consciously hold grudges. I've heard tigers are renown for holding grudges. Not the best animal to piss off either!

I guess it depends on how powerful the animal is. Tigers can 'afford' not to forgive because, they are apex predators. They risk less going into a fight with another creature than say, a deer would.

Do you hold a grudge generally? Do you think it's justice when those victimised fight back? I suppose personally speaking, things have to be really bad for me to hold a grudge. Even then, I wouldn't necessarily wish the person harm or, do harm to them- unless the violence was taking place in that moment. Then, I could well fight back now.

I'm definitely wary of people who show certain behaviours though. I don't tend to forget and it will shift my attitude towards them. I think that's simply a defensive mechanism though- and sensible really.

But, I suppose to be brutally honest, I'll admit that I enjoy it when other creatures fight back. A tiger was once shot by a poacher who then stole its kill. The tiger tracked the poacher to their hut and waited 12 hours for their return and then killed them. A tiger in a zoo once scaled its enclosure to attack some teenage boys who were throwing litter at it.

There's a pretty cruel part of me that thinks it serves those humans right. They were the ones being cruel to begin with. It's good they learned there are consequences. I suppose that's where I struggle with soft justice. But then, maybe revengeful justice doesn't work either. Is it enough of a deterrant either?

What do you think and, how do you stand? Do you forgive everyone anything? Do you think it's wrong when people fight back? Two wrongs don't make a right and all that. Is fighting fire with fire the wrong approach? Are we all different maybe? Do we respond to different punishments differently? Surely, the softly softly approach will work better on some but, maybe not all? How do we determine who needs what?

 

[princexhhn]

I was neglected as a child, nobody taught me to forgive, and still I learned to do so on my own. I don't forgive everyone, but that's because I'm still angry. And even when I forgive, I don't forget. I don't think it's wrong to fight back, given that they hurt you first. In a logical sense, fighting fire with fire is always the wrong decision. Sure, by animalistic instincts, we would be at each other's throats, but that would be ignoring the complicated factor being that we are a more intelligent species that are capable of more. We are animals by nature, that much is true, but we also are a more advanced species. We are capable of digesting concepts that other animals cannot. To determine who needs what, there's no concrete answer. It's up to discernment, there's a lot of factors to consider in different situations.

 

[FoxSauce]

I guess I can be both taught and learn for many reason. Like my parents also taught me to forgive beacuse is not a good thing to keep resentment in your heart.

Other people can be from experiences that tought them that.

Is really hard to forgive someone? Yeah some people can expect you to forgive them just like that like its something that should be done.

If you dont your bitter, resentful and cant mobe one if its not fast enough. That takes a lot of time and courage depending on who it was and the damage it'd caused.

Opp ramble