Is it important for you to have the last word in an argument?

[noname223]

I notice it isn't that important to me. But it depends on how emotionally involved I am in the discussion.

The conflict with my therapist. I was very emotionally involved but I also was tired. I gave her a symoblic victory by having the last word. But actually reporting her will be my last action. That's more important to me.

It is for me often a logical consideration. I think I am not always engaging that much with the responses of my threads. I have the feeling many conversations are not that fruitful. But I am also quite lazy. When I notice that I and the people I debate with have very different world views I just accept that. We are strangers on the internet. Live in different cultures and have heterogenous biographies. I don't want to waste my time by trying to convince someone to adapt to my world view. With no result. If I see it is just a different angle I accept that. It is often legitimate to have a different opinion. And it would be quite boring if we all had the same opinions. With not fruitful I don't mean that the people on here were not smart or anything. But it can be time-consuming to state a position. Some discussions end up pretty superficial. I need a certain commitment on a topic in order to discuss it at length. Good discussions often involve research for quotes and empirical data. I share my opinion on many topics even though I am no expert in them. I like to read the responses. But I also feel like an imposter all the time. And I am not sure whether to express my thoughts when they are not thought through. On the other hand, it also has to do with how II structure my day. Spending too much time on SaSu isn't good for me.
And listening to articles feels more satisfying than to share my half-knowledge on literally everything that crosses my mind.

I like it to spend time at the evening on SaSu. Reading the responses in the morning. Sometimes with a response and through the day checking in for the notifications. I like getting new input.

Do you often perceive the last person that responds as the winner of a debate? I am not sure.

 

[Seneca65AD]

For me, the answer to your question is "not anymore". There was a time in university, lawschool and practice when I simply did not know how to let up. It was always about making the last point. As I've become older, I realized that succesful argument is based on logic, reason and connection - or to be more accurate - the appearance of logic, reason and connection. As long as the trier of fact believes I am being logical, etc. then I'm usually doing okay. Once I get the other side to repeat their argument twice, then I normally let them have the last word. To be clear, I am not talking about stating the same proposition in a different way - which is an essential element of debate. I'm talking about where one is literally stating verbatim a previous argument.

There is an old saying in law - tell them what you are going to tell them, then tell them, then tell them what you just told them. But also be cognizant of another old saw - When you strike oil, stop drilling.....

 

[lionetta12]

I notice it isn't that important to me. But it depends on how emotionally involved I am in the discussion.

The conflict with my therapist. I was very emotionally involved but I also was tired. I gave her a symoblic victory by having the last word. But actually reporting her will be my last action. That's more important to me.

It is for me often a logical consideration. I think I am not always engaging that much with the responses of my threads. I have the feeling many conversations are not that fruitful. But I am also quite lazy. When I notice that I and the people I debate with have very different world views I just accept that. We are strangers on the internet. Live in different cultures and have heterogenous biographies. I don't want to waste my time by trying to convince someone to adapt to my world view. With no result. If I see it is just a different angle I accept that. It is often legitimate to have a different opinion. And it would be quite boring if we all had the same opinions. With not fruitful I don't mean that the people on here were not smart or anything. But it can be time-consuming to state a position. Some discussions end up pretty superficial. I need a certain commitment on a topic in order to discuss it at length. Good discussions often involve research for quotes and empirical data. I share my opinion on many topics even though I am no expert in them. I like to read the responses. But I also feel like an imposter all the time. And I am not sure whether to express my thoughts when they are not thought through. On the other hand, it also has to do with how II structure my day. Spending too much time on SaSu isn't good for me.
And listening to articles feels more satisfying than to share my half-knowledge on literally everything that crosses my mind.

I like it to spend time at the evening on SaSu. Reading the responses in the morning. Sometimes with a response and through the day checking in for the notifications. I like getting new input.

Do you often perceive the last person that responds as the winner of a debate? I am not sure.

Depends who I'm arguing with. If it's someone who's close to me in intelligence and who's older, yeah probably. If it's someone younger, weaker or less intelligent, no, I'll let them have it because I know I won't get through to them probably because they are so set on their reality and their version that I cannot "win" or reason with them, which is fine, it's not worth my time, effort or energy at that point so I will gladly accept that they "win" or have the last word at that point. I don't waste my time.

 

[Forever Sleep]

It partly depends on how much I respect them. Some people argue in a kind of trolling way because they obviously enjoy the conflict. I don't enjoy conflict. So- if they are seemingly deliberately trying to antogonize, I'll try really hard now, not to take the bait.

So- it doesn't entirely matter if they want to pick up on every tiny thing or, even misinterpret things- that's just what they kind of do and no amount of explaining, reasoning, trying to find common ground will change that.

It's also kind of obvious I think that some arguments are entered into with very distinct and opposite biases. I will admit that I have them too and- I don't always entirely want to shift them. So- some arguments seem doomed from the start.

With someone I do respect more though, I think you can both give your points of view strongly. If there's enough mutual respect, I think you can reach a stale mate where it's obvious neither person will budge. So, it seems best to agree to disagree then.

I'll probably keep going with an argument if I feel I've been misinterpreted. Sometimes, I'll continue in order to back down some ways too- to acknowledge that I was wrong about something.

I think mainly though, I'm appallingly badly read on most topics so- it would be stupid for me to engage in serious debate. I still stupidly do sometimes but, I'm learning it's better not to! There may not be all that many things I'm sure I'm right on though- to begin with.