Venting Is it finally my time? NO.

[taiberjames]

Because of my depression I live now with my family in the uk.
When I just moved I was obsessed on searching for hanging locations in parks and public footpath, since that's the best around me..

I went for a holiday with my family this weekend, and got really excited to see there's a vast Forrest near by and was sure that finally I will have a location.
In the morning i put on my sneaking mode and told them I don't feel well- as soon as they left I ordered an overpriced taxi.
Walking in the forrest around 30 mins, is see the off path is too steep and there's no way I can climb it without travelers see and suspect..

The return walk of shame is horrible..

it's so hard to find the location since I'm not mobile, and to feel I missed a great opportunity like that really knocks me down..

I need this to end so bad..
Everytime like this I'm sure that this time it's going to be my last day, saying my Mental goodbyes and happy for the rest to come.

But once again returns to my endless pit.
How can things get better when im so obsessed on CTB?
How can i keep handling this?
The pain is so hard

 

[FuneralCry]

I really hate how it's so unnecessarily difficult to leave this world, it's so cruel how people cannot just leave in peace without the fear of other people interfering in plans, I get that it certainly can be so torturous feeling trapped here. But anyway I hope that you eventually find what you search for.

 

[CW36]

I'd say by experience that it's indeed not your time yet. The thoughts are there (as with everyone here), but the next step is making a concenrate plan and or testing a setup. The final stage is or course the biggest metaphorical leap - going through with the act! The reality is that the majority of people here won't achieve that ambition. Many fantasise and many attempt, but far fewer succeed. It takes real determination and fortitude. But use your so called 'failures' as fuel, and if you want it that bad, you'll get there one day.

 

[fedupwithlife]

I'd say by experience that it's indeed not your time yet. The thoughts are there (as with everyone here), but the next step is making a concenrate plan and or testing a setup. The final stage is or course the biggest metaphorical leap - going through with the act! The reality is that the majority of people here won't achieve that ambition. Many fantasise and many attempt, but far fewer succeed. It takes real determination and fortitude. But use your so called 'failures' as fuel, and if you want it that bad, you'll get there one day.

Isnt that encouraging suicide?

 

[CW36]

Isnt that encouraging suicide?

Perhaps if you read the OP text properly (and mine), then you wouldn't post such a silly statement.

 

[fedupwithlife]

Perhaps if you read the OP text properly (and mine), then you wouldn't post such a silly statement.

Perhaps if you actually read the rules of the forum you wouldnt have written such a silly response

 

[CW36]

Perhaps if you actually read the rules of the forum you wouldnt have written such a silly response

Perhaps if you could spell properly and use grammar correctly, then I could take you a little more seriously? I've seen you on the forum for a while now, and I've never seen you say anything of substance. At least you're consistent. Ignored.

 

[fedupwithlife]

Perhaps if you could spell properly and use grammar correctly, then I could take you a little more seriously? I've seen you on the forum for a while now, and I've never seen you say anything of substance. At least you're consistent. Ignored.

Youre a funny guy