Is it fair to let myself be found?

[britter]

I've been deeply considering when and where I'm going to CTB. But the one thing that's really effecting my judgement is the where.

I don't ever wish to be desperate enough to CTB at home, due to the trauma it would inflict upon my family. I'm not afraid of the act, I'm afraid of everything after that.
Although I won't be there, I think it's unfair to leave the cleanup or discovery to someone who shouldn't ever have to see me that way. In the same way that I don't want family to discover me, I also don't wish for a passerby to come across me out of the blue. It narrows down location, but makes travel a lot more complicated.

I wish I lived alone so I could get it over and done with, does anybody relate?

What are your thoughts on the fairness of it all? Is it even worth stressing about location, should I just do it at home?

 

[Toonloon]

Are you able to go for walks in your area? Google search some hiking trails near you. I live in a small town. I have a plan to ctb by hanging. I really don't care who finds me I'm kind of an asshole like that. But I think it's best to scout out secluded areas. Find a spot that isn't heavily traveled and hangout there alot. See how often people come by and see how long it takes before anyone finds you.

I will probably hang myself in a nice hotel bathroom somehow. I plan on leaving the note on the door warning the maid to call the cops I'm dead on the other side. I don't like cops. And that's what they and EMTs are paid for you know. To see fucked up shit. So I don't feel bad be found by them. The maid will get a warning. Maybe you can do something like that?

 

[britter]

Are you able to go for walks in your area? Google search some hiking trails near you. I live in a small town. I have a plan to ctb by hanging. I really don't care who finds me I'm kind of an asshole like that. But I think it's best to scout out secluded areas. Find a spot that isn't heavily traveled and hangout there alot. See how often people come by and see how long it takes before anyone finds you.

I will probably hang myself in a nice hotel bathroom somehow. I plan on leaving the note on the door warning the maid to call the cops I'm dead on the other side. I don't like cops. And that's what they and EMTs are paid for you know. To see fucked up shit. So I don't feel bad be found by them. The maid will get a warning. Maybe you can do something like that?

I think as far as realistic locations go, a hiking trail of sorts would probably be ideal. Easy to veer off trail, fairly nice to look at, etc.
The only thing that comes to mind when something like that is considered is the fact that my body, given it's nature, is bound to decompose. I don't want to be found mid-decomposition as that would probably terrify someone and it's not in my nature to want anyone to experience that.
I'm cool being found as a skeleton though, or some stage prior to complete decomposition.

I think realistically, I want a place where I can let my body decompose to a stage where it's ok to look at, if that makes sense? I mean ideally I find a spot where I'll never be found, but that won't happen.

 

[chainofcommand]

I've been deeply considering when and where I'm going to CTB. But the one thing that's really effecting my judgement is the where.

I don't ever wish to be desperate enough to CTB at home, due to the trauma it would inflict upon my family. I'm not afraid of the act, I'm afraid of everything after that.
Although I won't be there, I think it's unfair to leave the cleanup or discovery to someone who shouldn't ever have to see me that way. In the same way that I don't want family to discover me, I also don't wish for a passerby to come across me out of the blue. It narrows down location, but makes travel a lot more complicated.

I wish I lived alone so I could get it over and done with, does anybody relate?

What are your thoughts on the fairness of it all? Is it even worth stressing about location, should I just do it at home?

Well founded thoughts. I'll tell you my plan. It's bad, but could be worse.

I intend to rent an AirBnB and do it in the shower. I'll leave a note on the bathroom door saying "Do not enter. Call police."

Not great, but better than alternatives. That's the best I got. I can't do it in the woods or something. I need light and a mirror.

 

[lastlife_]

At the end of the day, everyone will be found in the end. Whether it's the same day, next day, a week later or a month. If you plan to do it somewhere you'll be found and you can enclosed yourself in a room and lock it, I think it's courtesy to maybe leave a note on the door to say "I've taken my life, don't come in, call emergency services" something like that.

 

[ThankYouNYT]

I've been deeply considering when and where I'm going to CTB. But the one thing that's really effecting my judgement is the where.

I don't ever wish to be desperate enough to CTB at home, due to the trauma it would inflict upon my family. I'm not afraid of the act, I'm afraid of everything after that.
Although I won't be there, I think it's unfair to leave the cleanup or discovery to someone who shouldn't ever have to see me that way. In the same way that I don't want family to discover me, I also don't wish for a passerby to come across me out of the blue. It narrows down location, but makes travel a lot more complicated.

I think it does you credit to consider the question of the effect on your family. It would surely be a terrible thing for your lived ones to see. If it can be avoided, I think it should be. If it can!

I think the effect on a stranger, however, would be small, especially if (as you say) you're found "fresh" or skeletalised. I've seen the body of a recently deceased person, and it was no big deal. People happen upon dead bodies every day.

It feels like an absurd suggestion, but you could set an email timed to send to the police or whoever after you're dead telling them where to find you. That way you won't be found in time to be revived but you will be found fresh. At least you'll have tried your best.

But like I said, the effect on a stranger finding you will be small and passing. A story for the pub that weekend. Someone's going to have to find you. I wouldn't worry about it.

 

[britter]

I think it does you credit to consider the question of the effect on your family. It would surely be a terrible thing for your lived ones to see. If it can be avoided, I think it should be. If it can!

I think the effect on a stranger, however, would be small, especially if (as you say) you're found "fresh" or skeletalised. I've seen the body of a recently deceased person, and it was no big deal. People happen upon dead bodies every day.

It feels like an absurd suggestion, but you could set an email timed to send to the police or whoever after you're dead telling them where to find you. That way you won't be found in time to be revived but you will be found fresh. At least you'll have tried your best.

But like I said, the effect on a stranger finding you will be small and passing. A story for the pub that weekend. Someone's going to have to find you. I wouldn't worry about it.

I find some sort of comfort in being remembered purely as a random event, but nothing more. I think it comes down to the psyche of whoever comes across you, ultimately I think it's a mixture of luck and pre-planning.

I've considered the time-email / message thing, but I also like the idea of vanishing. In my situation if I disappeared one day I can only guess that my family will automatically assume I've gone to CTB, if not my family, at least my sister, since she get's the gist of my mental position. I'm not sure if this is the correct stance, but without closure i.e a body being found, I feel like the mental impact of my departure will be lessened in a way.
It may be immature but I like the idea of disappearing.

 

[GentleJerk]

I think it comes down to the psyche of whoever comes across you

True.

Although it's never easy, and there's no way to know for sure what kind of impact it will have on whoever finds you, I think your family will be more likely to have a stronger or longer lasting reaction than a stranger would.

Try to keep in mind that it is inevitable we all will pass away eventually and someone will find us, unless of course you manage die at some remote hidden location and are never found! I can understand the appeal of vanishing like that, it removes the possibility of a negative effect on others. You're aware of the impact death has on others and are concerned about them. Noble thought!

But being found, and by who, might be less of a controllable variable than you think. I think just considering your immediate friends and family's well being is doing good, and if you overthink and focus on this too much It's not going to help make things any easier for you.

You sound like a kind, gentle and considerate person, all the best of luck and success to you in whatever you do!

 

[fay13]

pm the method your using? yes my family is a huge problem , i wish i lived alone so i could've CTB'ed a long time ago

 

[Wingspan]

Maybe spare your siblings the grizzly sight. As far as parents are concerned; they evidently didn't feel they owed you the absence of trauma (assuming they're your biological parents, that is), so I wouldn't feel guilt for giving them the same treatment.

 

[Chiisai]

I've been deeply considering when and where I'm going to CTB. But the one thing that's really effecting my judgement is the where.

I don't ever wish to be desperate enough to CTB at home, due to the trauma it would inflict upon my family. I'm not afraid of the act, I'm afraid of everything after that.
Although I won't be there, I think it's unfair to leave the cleanup or discovery to someone who shouldn't ever have to see me that way. In the same way that I don't want family to discover me, I also don't wish for a passerby to come across me out of the blue. It narrows down location, but makes travel a lot more complicated.

I wish I lived alone so I could get it over and done with, does anybody relate?

What are your thoughts on the fairness of it all? Is it even worth stressing about location, should I just do it at home?

Your reasons tell me you have a kind heart. You are thinking of others even when youre in pain. Im sure there is something for you because of that. Be it here or the after if you believe in that.

As for your question, I believe it depends on a lot of factors. First being the means of your act? Is it "messy" or not? If it is, then that will really be traumatizing. Another is if one has a means to be in isolation that is a factor too. If not, then maybe labeling the area or room such as "hazardous" or "do not enter, call emergency services" etc for courtesy?