is it better to let everyone know you're going to ctb, or do it without telling anyone?

[andro_meda12]

i've always imagined myself planning on writing letters to everyone i've met/still remember and giving it to them right before i ctb, but now i'm starting to wonder if i'd be better off just writing letters to my close friends and family members (that i don't hate) and leaving everyone else i'm not really close to in the dark. i really don't think anyone outside of those people would remember me enough to care if i was dead, and if i failed it'd be really embarrassing to have to tell them that (), but there's a part of me that just feels wrong not at least letting them know; even though we don't talk much, i still value and care about them. then again, it's probably not worth it to make those people have to think about the death of someone that they probably completely forgot about (or want nothing to do with, in some cases). i still think the people i'm close to at least deserve to know the exact reasons why i ctb and the impression that they left on me, but maybe that's irrational, too. what do you guys think?

 

[Slow_Farewell]

Personally, I won't be leaving one, for the reason that I am not that important, really. Plus, well, i've spent the last couple of years purposely limiting my interactions with people and i've tried as much as I could to alienate/distance the existing relationships I have. Of course, being an extreme introvert helped with that (as well as being a guy who has a strict, resting b"tch face).
The way I think about it, CTB will cause pain, there's no question about it. There's nothing you can do to avoid it so the question now becomes how you mitigate the pain you leave behind. For me it's incorporating things into my CTB like making sure I do it in a place that's as far away as possible from my usual haunts, or making sure my remains will not be found within a certain time frame.( well, at least as much as I can control, anyway.). If i can limit the things I remind them off as much as I can, then they can move a tiny bit faster.

Having said that, there is value in what you want to do. Notes are sort of a last ditch effort to help them understand why you did what you did, and it may offer some degree of comfort that you thought very fondly of them while you were alive and that you've always cherished the memories. Sometimes, its difficult to say things you really want to say, and leaving a note would, basically, let you do that.

I think leaving a note would be dependent on how you view the relationships you're leaving behind so if you feel strongly like you should, then do it. Just be mindful of the effects, I think.

 

[shrusho]

i dont imagine i will be leaving any kind of note just cuz its a lot of effort lol and theres probably a billion things i could say but theres no real point. if i write anything at all it would become a huge focus and i dont rlly care for that. ive explained myself and my situation thousands of times to family and friends but no one really cares so ive given up

if my boyfriend is still dating me whenever i decide to go through with it i will write him somehting though. bc he doesnt deserve to just have no explanation. but im scared i will just sound like a lunatic in my note so i would still keep it short anyway

 

[february in alaska]

I think it's risky to tell people before you CTB just because there's a chance they'll call for help and stop you from attempting at all. I guess it depends on your exact situation and if that's something you are okay with. But you can also leave notes explaining everything and leave them for after you're already gone, so you can tell it to those people without the risk

I completely understand how you feel about wanting to tell people you care about. But, telling them beforehand could also cause them a lot of guilt knowing that they knew before you left and they weren't able to stop you if you successfully CTB. Obviously, their guilt isn't yours to bear, but it's just something to think about

Whatever you end up deciding, I hope all goes well for you. Like Slow Farewell said, how you CTB is entirely up to you. If you want to do it a certain way, you should. You deserve to be able to choose these things with something like this

 

[the_path_of_sorrows]

I think that telling them of what you're about to do is noble. I care about others to the point where even when my head keeps telling me that they don't give a damn I believe that it's still gonna make some sort of emotional impact.

I want them to know that it was my choice and that they are not responsible for it. I don't want anybody else in my circle to be plagued with guilt and self hatred. Let my death teach them but never hurt them.

 

[beaten96]

Ehhhh.. I want mine to hurt them.. fuck their life lessons.. hate them all.. everybody I know and meet is human trash.. I rub mine in their fuckin face.. told a doctor about sodium nitrate.. seems like the doctors are getting clued in that we aren't fuckin around some of us.. yeah no graphic is when a doctor beats your ass down and rapes you and they only come after me for money after years collecting for these pricks.. no.. he admitted to his beat downs in court.. they can all go fuck themselves.. I hate every single last medical prick I ever met.. listened to the nurses talk smack about patients all night.. they keep trying to know my inner life.. and it's like what right do you think you have..

 

[UKscotty]

Before hand is a very bad idea, normal people will never accept CTB as a rational choice unless you are like 85 years old and frail. It's asking for a night in a&e and interview with the crisis team

As for leaving a note for after, sure but I think shorter is better.

 

[TAW122]

There are two schools of thought to this question. In the first school of thought, will denote as 'Case A' is when people inform those around them that they are going to CTB, and this has great risks, especially of being intervened against, or even if not, but one failing and then having to endure whatever repercussions (legal, social, financial, and more) one may face. I personally would not do that because I wouldn't want to add additional complications to my attempt (if/whenever I end up going through with my deed). The other school of thought, denoted as 'Case B', is to not inform anyone and just go through with the act. A lot of people who do end up CTB'ing oftenly don't do so, mainly those who do so impulsively and secretly. The downside of this however is the fact that the survivors will be caught off guard and left surprised at someone who suddenly just CTB'd. Of course, for people who just want to go and don't think too much about the repercussions, then it would be irrelevant, but for those who do care (in advance, because once one is dead they can no longer have the ability to experience, care, or witness the aftermath - afterall, they are no longer sentient!), it would be something that one considers. Hope this helps.

 

[outrider567]

Not going to tell anyone, suicide note is just a pragmatic message, with some financial info

 

[barkbark]

fwiw, i have experience with this: a while back during an impulsive attempt i messaged friends my goodbyes just as i was going to ctb because i didn't want to literally ghost them. turned out a friend was awake early and they ended up calling the cops — ended up failing and being brought to the hospital.

it was for the best tbh because i likely would've failed anyway (overdosing,) been caught by seizures being overheard, and had more permanent damage than what i have now, but it was miserable anyway.

 

[deathwithdignity98]

Ive been debating this for myself. I think a short explanation of why you felt the need to ctb will relieve a lot of grief for the people that care about you. But I wouldn't tell anyone beforehand because of the risk of failure

 

[ChronicLoser]

I think it depends on your relationships. Whatever feels the most right to you is what you should do, as cliche as that is.

I've been telling people for months I'm going to ctb, most think I'm joking, some don't care, others get concerned but do nothing about it. So I think it depends on the person and the relationship you have.

I'm leaving a generic note kind of aimed at everyone I knew, I tried to do personal one's before but couldn't do it.

Whatever feels comfortable for you.

 

[SMmetalhead36]

People that are dear to me know of my desire to CTB and they also know that 9/10 that'show my life ill end. Everyone else will find out after it happens.

Personally, I won't be leaving one, for the reason that I am not that important, really. Plus, well, i've spent the last couple of years purposely limiting my interactions with people and i've tried as much as I could to alienate/distance the existing relationships I have. Of course, being an extreme introvert helped with that (as well as being a guy who has a strict, resting b"tch face).
The way I think about it, CTB will cause pain, there's no question about it. There's nothing you can do to avoid it so the question now becomes how you mitigate the pain you leave behind. For me it's incorporating things into my CTB like making sure I do it in a place that's as far away as possible from my usual haunts, or making sure my remains will not be found within a certain time frame.( well, at least as much as I can control, anyway.). If i can limit the things I remind them off as much as I can, then they can move a tiny bit faster.

Having said that, there is value in what you want to do. Notes are sort of a last ditch effort to help them understand why you did what you did, and it may offer some degree of comfort that you thought very fondly of them while you were alive and that you've always cherished the memories. Sometimes, its difficult to say things you really want to say, and leaving a note would, basically, let you do that.

I think leaving a note would be dependent on how you view the relationships you're leaving behind so if you feel strongly like you should, then do it. Just be mindful of the effects, I think.

I'm pulling away from others now.