Discussion Is it better to avoid having kids in order not to be poor?

[nigelhernandez]

I know a 30 yr old woman who was kicked out of her parents house for heroin use at 19 and became homeless. Everything looked bleak for a few months but then she quickly got a job in a shitty part of town and over the years, rose up and is now upper middle class. She also vows never to have kids or a boyfriend

I imagine that if she made the mistake of having kids, she'd still be stuck in poverty. Kids are expensive for the average person but when you're struggling to get buy, it's even worse. It's responsible for the poverty trap.

Do you think it's a good idea for a man/woman to sterilize themselves when young? There's no real financial benefit of having kids (unless one day they'll become a big shot actor/musician/doctor/lawyer which is INCREDIBLY unlikely).

 

[Garbage Person]

You generally receive more benefits in America if you have children, sadly many women actually exploit this for gains. I don't think sterilization is a good option for someone young, not when there are plenty of decent birth control options. If someone is mature and wants to be sterilized, more power to them. That's a heavy decision for a young person. Yes, if you want to improve yourself and be prosperous, having kids will be like living your life on nightmare mode. Not even just because of financial reasons, but also just the time you spend fulfilling your duty as a teacher, caretaker, and provider. It makes it much more difficult to focus on your own mental health, relationships, career, and education. 2/10 experience, would not recommend.

 

[TAW122]

Absolutely, especially given how things are in today's world and economically speaking. Furthermore, as an antinatalist myself and philosophically speaking, the kids did not consent to being conceived and unless there was a guarantee of a glorious and amazing life (which there isn't) for said kid, bringing in new sentient life into being is immoral according to the philosophical tenets of antinatalism. Also, given how today's society is and would become, bringing a kid into it is likely to result in making things worse for society as well as the kid suffering through existence, thus it is best to never exist to begin with.

 

[Linda]

I know a 30 yr old woman who was kicked out of her parents house for heroin use at 19 and became homeless. Everything looked bleak for a few months but then she quickly got a job in a shitty part of town and over the years, rose up and is now upper middle class. She also vows never to have kids or a boyfriend

I imagine that if she made the mistake of having kids, she'd still be stuck in poverty. Kids are expensive for the average person but when you're struggling to get buy, it's even worse. It's responsible for the poverty trap.

Do you think it's a good idea for a man/woman to sterilize themselves when young? There's no real financial benefit of having kids (unless one day they'll become a big shot actor/musician/doctor/lawyer which is INCREDIBLY unlikely).

I would advise against sterilization because it is irreversible (usually). You might change your mind later, so it seems better to keep your options open. Just use good birth control.

 

[CC123]

Maybe in your late to mid 30s.
If something unplanned or unwanted happens, one can always have an abortion.
If circumstances change later on and a child is desired, that can happen.
Keep your options open.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Vasectomies are usually reversible. Your body, your choice.

Pregnancies are not reversible although they can be terminated. Her body her choice. Your wallet will definitely be impacted if she has the baby, whether you want to be involved in its life or not.

 

[Worthless_nobody]

If I had been able to afford to be steralized at young age I would have in an instant. Birth control has a lot of side effect if you take it long term. Everyone says "you will change your mind" but not everyone does and I never did. If I had access to sterilization I would not have gotten pregnant when raped and then lost my would be daughter before birth (I didn't have the heart to have an abortion)

 

[FireFox]

I am 23 and i want to be sterilised in the future. I believe it is cruel to bring a child in to world full of evil and suffering.
Life is an awful cycle of work and pays taxes til you die. I dont want my child be part of the machine

Growing up i constantly heard
"Life is hard etc"by grown ups. Grown up never taught us how to make life better or worth it or even show us a new way of living.
We know life is awful though history and beyond but people continue to breed. It doesnt make sense at all.
People have children because the joy children bring and babies are adorable. If a woman wants multiple children that is her choice but the tax payer shouldnt have fund this. Men need to take responsiblity. A lot of men run away when they get a woman pregnant and never get held responsible. It is so not fair

The answer to your question is no

There many ways people end up in poverty. Poverty can happen to anyone

Remember there is more support for women who have children . In the UK if you have kids you get welfare payments from the government , children get free schools here and now free pads.

People who have no children or family have no help whatsoever.

Here the other ways people can end up in poverty
-immigration status: here in the UK your immigratiom status determines your right to work and your entitlements. A lot of immigrants struggle to access the welfare system as the government has made it harder to access the welfare system
- Domestic violence. Some women who leave thier abusive partners and have no family to help them end up homeless.
- Addiction: a lot of addicts arr homeless or have significant debts as result of thier addiction.

 

[lotus11]

Absolutely it's a terrible decision, both for the mother and father and the children. Honestly, if I don't die I really want children. But I know its a selfish and stupid decision...I am poor and always have been. But if I am currently just reaching 30 years old and if I don't have kids and a family to fulfil the rest of my life what the fuck am i gonna to for the rest of the years until I die. I'm not very career-driven, the best I could get is an average job, I don't have a good relationship with the family I was born into and I have e few friends but not many. I do want ids for selfish reasons...and I am just the one being honest...honestly i think for most people it is likely the same

 

[so tired or manic]

it's nearly impossible to find a doctor who will agree to sterilize someone who hasn't had kids and is young.

 

[Belit667]

it's nearly impossible to find a doctor who will agree to sterilize someone who hasn't had kids and is young.

Wrong. I had vasectomy at the age of 26, never had any kids. Did it in London. The best decision in my life.

 

[so tired or manic]

Wrong. I had vasectomy at the age of 26, never had any kids. Did it in London. The best decision in my life.

you can reverse vasectomies. even so, it's hard to find a doctor who will even consider it here in the states. friend kept being told until they were 30 it wasn't an option until they found a doctor who was on their side.

with women it's a completely different ball field. it's irreversible and doctors don't want to get sued if decisions change unexpectedly.

 

[FireFox]

it's nearly impossible to find a doctor who will agree to sterilize someone who hasn't had kids and is young.

@so tired or manic
It is so not fair.
The NHS refuses to sterlise women under 30.

I am trying to save money and find a private clinc that will. I am looking to go aboard.

In austria you can get sterilised at 25 it is allowed under thier laws .

If a person is allowed to have a baby at 18 then they also should also have the right not to have children

I hate how people say i will change my mind .

It so sexist because it assumes every woman wants kids and are incapable of deciding thier own fate.
The world is a horrible place it is immoral to bring children in a world full of suffering, vanity; selfishness and the list goes on.

Life really is not worth living

Wrong. I had vasectomy at the age of 26, never had any kids. Did it in London. The best decision in my life.

@Belit667

Which clinc in london and how much?

I want to be sterlised

Absolutely it's a terrible decision, both for the mother and father and the children. Honestly, if I don't die I really want children. But I know its a selfish and stupid decision...I am poor and always have been. But if I am currently just reaching 30 years old and if I don't have kids and a family to fulfil the rest of my life what the fuck am i gonna to for the rest of the years until I die. I'm not very career-driven, the best I could get is an average job, I don't have a good relationship with the family I was born into and I have e few friends but not many. I do want ids for selfish reasons...and I am just the one being honest...honestly i think for most people it is likely the same

@Iotus11

There is nothing wrong with wanting children. I never want children myself but respect other peoples choice children .

Children do bring so much joy
If a child is loved and cared for then that is all that matters.

There are lots of rich people that dont give a damm about thier own kids. Look at how they dump thier children with thier nannies and just leave them.

You will make a wonderful parent and hope you do meet that special someone :)

 

[Belit667]

@Belit667

Which clinc in london and how much?

I want to be sterlised

[/QUOTE]

It was at Marie Stopes and back in 2007 it cost 300 pounds. They had no problem with my age and being childfree.

 

[Cosmiq]

I think it's totally fine if someone decides to sterilize themselves regardless of age, though there are some decent birth control methods. I don't know why people make such huge deals about it. You can get sterilized, but have your eggs/sperm frozen beforehand too. I'm in the US and it's still crazy the amount of hoops women have to go through to avoid motherhood if they don't want it.

I think it's fucking stupid that people try to stop or make others think twice about giving up the option for children.
There's no screening process or limitations on who gets to have children(at least for straights) so why is there one for those that don't want them? I can't speak for every place all over but for the most part, there is no shortage to where we should be limited people's options. Happiness and a sense of fulfillment mean different things to people and more people have ways to reach that feeling besides just family.

 

[SoIntoYou]

Yea, it's quite irresponsible to have kids at a certain level, not only for your sake, but also for theirs. What's more concerning is that deciding to have child has to be a financial decision instead of a compassionate one.

 

[Grav]

Having kids doesn't have to equal poverty but kids are pretty much only a money drain unless they have some future job where they have money to support the parents. Given that, my opinion is, if you decide to have a kid then priorities should change to support that child. I know of a few people who wouldn't let their child "cramp their style". It's their decision but usually the outcome is set. A person can still be poor without kids but it's easier than having them, usually. Having sterilization as an option at a younger age would probably avert other problems, especially in the US I've never looked into age requirements so just going on what I've read here.