Is it best to distance yourself out of respect for those who care about you?

[Water-Lily]

I watched a video today that triggered me

It was about what people pleasing is like for the people on the receiving end of ones behavior

Her first point is that, when the people pleaser acts like they're fine and then blows up later, the victim feels as if they cannot be trusted

That they'd appreciate honesty from the get go up front

I...cannot do this

I'm so damaged and scared of speaking up because of abuse

Because every time I would speak my mind people would put me down, abuse me, etc

And I'm tired

So I act "fake nice" to avoid a person being mad

But when I blow up later/shut down it hurts them too

So maybe I can avoid everything by just staying away

Because if I don't engage, I protect myself and protect them from dealing with my untrustworthy behavior

A win win for everyone?