Is it bad being on this site if I don't plan on CTBing for 30 years?

[jodes2]

I wonder if I'm out of place on this site. I know most people here want to CTB sooner rather than laterIs it wrong me being here? I love this place, people are usually so kind, it's rare. So understanding. I know there's a recovery section, but still. Idk. I got one reaction from someone, they seemed surprised that I'm here, and it irked e a little bit. I love this place! I enjoy trying to help people. I've been suicidal on and off forever so idk

 

[cowie]

I think it's okay, especially if you deal with suicidal thoughts and have plans to at some point in the future.

 

[Venom85]

I don't see any issue for you to be here. Everyone here has his own problems, you have your that still more or less related to the same topic.

 

[BipolarExpress]

I don't think it's a bad idea at all! Even if you're not ready to make that final step, you can still listen to people and offer them support.

 

[Ellipsis]

I don't think that's anything bad. CTB can be really difficult: access to the methods, the SI, the fear of suffering, it takes a lot of courage. The desire to leave this world can also evolve, being felt more or less strong depending on the time. I don't think it takes CTB soon to get a place on this site. Some of us end up healing, leaving the site, some CTB, some doubting. I don't see why you wouldn't have your place on this site. I regularly see your posts and you try to help others by responding to their topics. You probably bring them comfort, thank you.

 

[Ineedtodie]

Absolutely not wrong if it helps you cope with the cruelty of reality and if it helps you feel less lonely in your struggles.

 

[jodes2]

I don't think that's anything bad. CTB can be really difficult: access to the methods, the SI, the fear of suffering, it takes a lot of courage. The desire to leave this world can also evolve, being felt more or less strong depending on the time. I don't think it takes CTB soon to get a place on this site. Some of us end up healing, leaving the site, some CTB, some doubting. I don't see why you wouldn't have your place on this site. I regularly see your posts and you try to help others by responding to their topics. You probably bring them comfort, thank you.

Thank you for your kind words!

Thank you everyone!

 

[hush hush]

I wonder if I'm out of place on this site. I know most people here want to CTB sooner rather than laterIs it wrong me being here? I love this place, people are usually so kind, it's rare. So understanding. I know there's a recovery section, but still. Idk. I got one reaction from someone, they seemed surprised that I'm here, and it irked e a little bit. I love this place! I enjoy trying to help people. I've been suicidal on and off forever so idk

You may have some obligations keeping you here like everyone who is still alive, despite not liking life. That's fine, only you can decide by what means and at what point your life will end. No one else. We don't judge here.

 

[Shadowlord900]

Unless if I'm 'unlucky' to get a terminal illness before then, I don't plan on CTBing until I'm over 50, which then I'm hoping I can get help from abroad.

So don't worry you're not the only one that may be sticking around for quite some time.

 

[jodes2]

ss if I'm 'unlucky' to get a terminal illness before then, I don't plan on CTBing until I'm over 50, which then I'm hoping I can get help from abroad.

So don't worry you're not the only one that may be sticking around for quite some time.

Im glad you're sticking around :D the turnover on this site saddens me often

 

[Forever Sleep]

I think we're all likely on here because we are struggling to cope with suicidal ideation alongside just trying to get through our lives. None of us entirely know when our time will come- if it will at all. Honestly, I don't know how long I'll be here. I don't know if I'll ever have the guts to actually CTB- I may be here for decades also... . I'm so grateful for this place though. I'd hate to think I was no longer welcome because I hadn't acted on my thoughts and proved I was 'genuine.'

I think- just the same as we're all individuals with different back stories and to be fair- we are all suffering to varying degrees- we all express ourselves and cope in different ways. Sometimes I think (to some users) it might look flippant if our language is lighter hearted or we even use humour (not necessarily saying that you do.) I think this does irk some people as maybe they take this to mean our situation and attitude isn't dark or serious enough to be on such a site.

It's hard because I can see why it would irritate someone if they are in such a dark place but on the other hand- it doesn't necessarily mean that the other person isn't suffering. They just happen to try and cope with it in a different way.

Plus, imagine if there was a requirement for someone to CBT within a certain time to be able to come on here? That would be monstrous! We're sorry but your membership is coming to an end... either leave the forum or leave the earth.

 

[eldiablo666]

I think you should use it less tbh. This site can affect your decision to ctb earlier which might not be what you truly wish.
Just my thoughts.

 

[FuneralCry]

It's only bad if you post pro life stuff, invalidate and dismiss the suffering of others, post toxic positivity and stuff like that. People have done that type of thing in the past on here and I don't think that it belongs on the forum. But as long as people are respectful, then there is no problem with those who don't plan to ctb coming on here. It sounds unbearable to me having to endure this existence for 30 more years. In my case I could never do that no matter what.

 

[Myforevercharlie]

I wonder if I'm out of place on this site. I know most people here want to CTB sooner rather than laterIs it wrong me being here? I love this place, people are usually so kind, it's rare. So understanding. I know there's a recovery section, but still. Idk. I got one reaction from someone, they seemed surprised that I'm here, and it irked e a little bit. I love this place! I enjoy trying to help people. I've been suicidal on and off forever so idk

No.

You're not the only one. They're even people ( like me) that don't want to ctb (anymore) Everyone here has they're own reason for being here. For me, with 4 different diagnosis, have found a home here almost 3 years ago, where I'm accepted and understood.

For the ones that think we don't belong here, who better understands why people want to leave? For me , I have my reason to sit out this ' party' that I've stated here a few times.

Dear @jodes2 you belong here just as long as you think you need/want

 

[jodes2]

No.

You're not the only one. They're even people ( like me) that don't want to ctb (anymore) Everyone here has they're own reason for being here. For me, with 4 different diagnosis, have found a home here almost 3 years ago, where I'm accepted and understood.

For the ones that think we don't belong here, who better understands why people want to leave? For me , I have my reason to sit out this ' party' that I've stated here a few times.

Dear @jodes2 you belong here just as long as you think you need/want

Thank you

 

[Obliviate]

Just don't sound like a prolifer? I've seen some of your comments about the whole "It gets better" or changing someone's mind and it sounds very prolife to me. Please do not say things like that as that is the last thing we wanna hear. If it got better for you, congratulations but it's rare.

 

[jodes2]

Just don't sound like a prolifer? I've seen some of your comments about the whole "It gets better" and it sounds very prolife to me. Please do not say things like that as that is the last thing we wanna hear. If it got better for you, congratulations but it's rare.

Sorry. I try to be pro-choice with both acceptance and positivity, I'll work on it. I'm hardly pro-choice though, I must have given sources to 100 people by now. It's not risk free ya know? And I'm not going to just send people to their deaths without trying to salvage some lives

 

[Zegers]

I think if you plan a life maybe you should find a place that is more in line with that? but anyway this is just a forum and not a clinic where there are places allocated.

 

[Regen]

At the moment I try very hard to stay alive. But I share the emotions and thoughts of many. I dont like life, everything is worthless I think. In the past I tried to leave this world.

I am absolutely sure, there are many many very different reasons to visit this website. But not everyone shares his reasons and not everyone shares his different opinion then the mainstream of this website. This website hast its own mainstream and its difficult not beeing the mainstream.

Maybe I will die by comitting suicide, maybe I will die another way. Who knows. It is 50/50.

And if someone dont like your answers, its okay. But for some others exactly your answers are the best and most helpful. There is not "THE SUICIDAL", everyone is different.

Nobody ist better or worse no matter if he committ suicide or If he stay alive!

 

[HermitLonerGuy]

Yes its bad very bad very very bad. You so naughty!!

 

[losing hope]

@jodes2 I also think it's great you are on this forum helping people the way you do, irrespective of when you plan to CTB.

Correct me if I am wrong, however my understanding is SN would be your method if you choose to CTB. Therefore I am curious, would you use 30 year old SN to CTB provided it came back with a positive result on the blood test then?

Or would you wait until closer to your CTB date and try & source "fresh" SN in the future? Knowing the SN would be "fresher" so possibly more potent? Obviously the risk in this situation is getting SN in the future might be harder.

BTW the above question about SN, is also open to anyone else who is in a simliar position.

 

[PanickedMelancholia]

You're not alone! I don't plan to ctb for a few years either. But I'm here because this site makes me feel seen and heard. So I'll stick around till then. You don't have to be planning to do it soon to be here. People don't just come here to find ways to off themselves as soon as possible, for some(me), it's the community.