Is it ambivalence if I'm considering changing my method?

[BitterlyAlive]

I still have my SN and the necessary supplies, but now I'm leaning towards partial. I was against the idea of it for about a year, after seeing pictures of people who hanged themselves (watching the blood pool....eugh). But now it's beginning to sound really, really desirable. Maybe it's because I've been seeing people who have hanged themselves and because I think that's how my coworker recently died. But, as usual, I worry about stupid shit: am I being ambivalent? Am I being stupid for thinking of changing my method?

Also, finding your carotids is difficult. Despite being against hanging, I still would try to find my carotids and have been trying spur-of-the-moment for months. I think I find the sweet spot, I compress, and I just get a headache. I think last time my vision dulled a bit, but that was probably all in my head lmao.

 

[icanhasnick]

If you are changing AWAY from SN and into something else, that's cause sufficient to have your SS citizenship rescinded.

 

[BitterlyAlive]

If you are changing AWAY from SN and into something else, that's cause sufficient to have your SS citizenship rescinded.

Lmao. Dang dude, you're right.

 

[Spitfire]

I don't like the fullness of my head about to explode feeling I get when compressing the carotid arteries.

 

[Checkmate3]

I still have my SN and the necessary supplies, but now I'm leaning towards partial.

But but but....

 

[Deleted member 19654]

I don't like the fullness of my head about to explode feeling I get when compressing the carotid arteries.

If your head feels like it's going to explode then doesn't that mean you've only compressed your jugular veins?

 

[OnlyTheWind]

I don't like the fullness of my head about to explode feeling I get when compressing the carotid arteries.

You should be unconscious within 20 seconds. Try again.

 

[BPD Barbie]

Really it's up to you. Suicide and the method is an extremely personal choice and it should be whatever you feel the most comfortable and confident in doing.

 

[BitterlyAlive]

But but but....

I know. It sounds really bad. I know a lot of people really want SN but can't even get it... :(

If your head feels like it's going to explode then doesn't that mean you've only compressed your jugular veins?

Oof what if I get a headache because I can't follow a simple picture and compressed the wrong thing? Oh no.

Really it's up to you. Suicide and the method is an extremely personal choice and it should be whatever you feel the most comfortable and confident in doing.

Thanks. I know, I'm just....a silly worrywart.

 

[Spitfire]

I was doing it wrong. I just tried again and you are right. That fullness did not come near as strongly when doing it correctly. It was barely there.

 

[thethatsitboy]

I hope you don't feel that you have to do SN. Or that you have to do partial. It is not like that. You are the only one who can know what you wanna do. Thinking straight about a decision like this is something essencial. And of course you can ask for help, here is one place to do it. But, please, don't let others talk for you, as you should be doing something. Do what you wanna do.

 

[icanhasnick]

I was doing it wrong. I just tried again and you are right. That fullness did not come near as strongly when doing it correctly. It was barely there.

What did you change to get there ?

 

[BitterlyAlive]

I hope you don't feel that you have to do SN. Or that you have to do partial. It is not like that. You are the only one who can know what you wanna do. Thinking straight about a decision like this is something essencial. And of course you can ask for help, here is one place to do it. But, please, don't let others talk for you, as you should be doing something. Do what you wanna do.

Thanks, mate.

 

[esse_est_percipi]

I don't like the fullness of my head about to explode feeling I get when compressing the carotid arteries.

That feeling doesn't come from compressing the carotids, but from compressing the veins which carry blood away from the brain.

Compressing the carotid arteries should just quickly lead to unconsciousness because the carotids are responsible for blood getting to the brain.

 

[Spitfire]

What did you change to get there ?

I just made sure I could feel the bounding of my pulse really well, pushed down on it with my three fingers on both sides of my neck, and that was it.

It seems to work REALLY well!

It only took about 20 seconds like what was said. There was a feeling of almost somewhat of a euphoria which stuck around for about 10 - 15 seconds after I let up too.

I have literally totally changed my mind on this method now. I like it.
... kinda just like the threads title

 

[the witch’s lament]

by definition it is ambivalent to have changed your plans on something so definite. however, I would contemplate more on the WHY instead of the HOW, as SN is seen as the most desirable method generally. maybe your apprehension in your initial method could come from a place of uncertainty somewhere else.

 

[BitterlyAlive]

by definition it is ambivalent to have changed your plans on something so definite. however, I would contemplate more on the WHY instead of the HOW, as SN is seen as the most desirable method generally. maybe your apprehension in your initial method could come from a place of uncertainty somewhere else.

I think it's a number of things. One huge thing is the amount of time required to die. That and the chance of vomiting are scaring me away from SN. Which tbh is silly, but meh. It is what it is.