I think this an interesting topic for many reasons. I think the concept of honor can have damaging effects. For example in Japan honor is very important. Especially in the past or till today many people commit suicide because they think their reputation was ruined. I always had a love for Japan. I also had a special relation to honor. When I was a teeanager I thought losing your honor would be a good reason for wanting to die. I had some childish and naive notions what honor means. I felt extremely ashamed spending time in clinics and having to take medication in order to maintain sanity.
Mental illnesses and especially my conditions are pretty stigmatized. Being at rock bottom was also in a weird sense relieving. It was extremely horrible and a huge pain. However I thought my reputation is already destroyed what others think of me should not be that important to me anymore. I can't change things from the past, I can't make my illness disappear. There was also a lot of toxic masculinity which played a big role in my suicidality and notion of honor. Since I have changed my perspective on that I could finally talk about my emotions with other people. This was really relieving. My bond to my best friends has become stronger. We talk way more openly also about embarrassing topics since then. We all said that this development was really good for our friendship. And this process was started by my mental breakdown.
I tried to learn since then that I should not feel ashamed for my mental illness or suicidality. Still I obviously don't talk with randoms on the street about it. But I come from a quite conservative family where nobody talked about emotions or feelings. If someone did that he or she was seen as weak. The domestic violence and abuse had the goal to harden us for the time when we will be confronted with the harsh reality (adult life). Ironically or cynically the result was the absolute contrary. I am really vulnerable and fragile. Especially under pressure.
In Japan the suicide rates skyrocket. They are way too obsessed about honor. Everyone feels sometimes hurt or just can't take it anymore. It is no shame to search for help. Not everything has to be sort out for oneself. It is no shame to rely on help. Trying to be strong for the sake of other people can be really exhaustive. It is important to learn about your own needs and how to address them properly.
Maybe the concept of honor should be modified. Maybe it should be replaced by enlightened higher values. There was kind of a sense in honor. I am not an expert but I think the goal was to live according to higher values and principles. Someone who taught me that was David Foster Wallace or Jordan Peterson. Sometimes it is admiring how people who struggle a lot still achieve things. There is a certain special dignity in that. I first had the thought if you are that fucked up (as me) you would lose your dignity. (sometimes this is true.) On the other hand it is really admiring how people fight in order to stay alive. How people try to keep their act together. It is sometimes astonishing what people can do despite all the setbacks they had to endure. Many people do amazing things for other people and barely get appraisal for that. These people don't care about artifical honor.
Mental illnesses and especially my conditions are pretty stigmatized. Being at rock bottom was also in a weird sense relieving. It was extremely horrible and a huge pain. However I thought my reputation is already destroyed what others think of me should not be that important to me anymore. I can't change things from the past, I can't make my illness disappear. There was also a lot of toxic masculinity which played a big role in my suicidality and notion of honor. Since I have changed my perspective on that I could finally talk about my emotions with other people. This was really relieving. My bond to my best friends has become stronger. We talk way more openly also about embarrassing topics since then. We all said that this development was really good for our friendship. And this process was started by my mental breakdown.
I tried to learn since then that I should not feel ashamed for my mental illness or suicidality. Still I obviously don't talk with randoms on the street about it. But I come from a quite conservative family where nobody talked about emotions or feelings. If someone did that he or she was seen as weak. The domestic violence and abuse had the goal to harden us for the time when we will be confronted with the harsh reality (adult life). Ironically or cynically the result was the absolute contrary. I am really vulnerable and fragile. Especially under pressure.
In Japan the suicide rates skyrocket. They are way too obsessed about honor. Everyone feels sometimes hurt or just can't take it anymore. It is no shame to search for help. Not everything has to be sort out for oneself. It is no shame to rely on help. Trying to be strong for the sake of other people can be really exhaustive. It is important to learn about your own needs and how to address them properly.
Maybe the concept of honor should be modified. Maybe it should be replaced by enlightened higher values. There was kind of a sense in honor. I am not an expert but I think the goal was to live according to higher values and principles. Someone who taught me that was David Foster Wallace or Jordan Peterson. Sometimes it is admiring how people who struggle a lot still achieve things. There is a certain special dignity in that. I first had the thought if you are that fucked up (as me) you would lose your dignity. (sometimes this is true.) On the other hand it is really admiring how people fight in order to stay alive. How people try to keep their act together. It is sometimes astonishing what people can do despite all the setbacks they had to endure. Many people do amazing things for other people and barely get appraisal for that. These people don't care about artifical honor.
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Honour is not overrated at all!
