Discussion is heartbreak why u want to ctb?

[itllbeover]

For me it is. All my relationships went to shit. All my exes hate me. I did everything I could to maintain a good relationship yet somehow, something always had to go wrong. I couldn't find a reason to live for myself so I found it in others. I actually felt happy for once, I actually felt something. But now I feel used up and unable to love or feel something again.

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

Heartbreak over globally broken political and economic arrangements

 

[Al Cappella]

For me it's the heartache, not just from relationships, but from realizing I don't fit into this world.

 

[Lullaby]

Recently, definitely.

I've always struggled with wanting to but the pain is pretty unbearable after you've let your walls down to someone, opened up about all of your past trauma and they still decide go ahead and lie, manipulate and hurt you. It's beyond shitty. That was all I really needed at this point to push me to my limit.

Any ounce of love or hope in me is mostly gone. The tiny bit I do have is reserved for my cat.

 

[jimmy7754]

No, I failed myself. I let myself down. I ruined myself.

 

[sealbabies]

Heartache is mine as well... a stinging, painful ache, but slightly different than the typical.
The void in my heart is from the physical loss of the love of my life. I woke up to him dead and everything has fallen apart.
He worked himself to death... didn't even make it to bed. I still remember how he felt so cold.
Honestly though, he probably had a much nicer exit than I will at this point, but existing now is cruel.
Just the fact that time keeps passing since I last saw him is a genuine living nightmare that keeps growing and eating away at my insides.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Mostly. It's what activated my plans to CTB as soon as I could.

 

[its-about-time]

I couldn't find a reason to live for myself so I found it in others. I actually felt happy for once, I actually felt something. But now I feel used up and unable to love or feel something again.

It's not the entirety of my reason, but this certainly sums up a part of it. I don't doubt I could find that again in someone else, I just don't want to, not even in friendships, and that's one less reason to keep moving forwards.

 

[PerpetualPain]

Nobody should ever CTB over the heartbreak of a break up. I understand how painful it can be but this is a spontaneous act. The wounds will heal with time. There are no soul mates. There are simply some good ones and some bad ones. You can always find another one. Your happiness shouldn't depend on somebody else anyways.

 

[plough22]

Broken due to something occurring cause of viciousness has lead me this route, damn those people who go to destroy another persons life. Albeit it'll be for me and a honesty right honour statement if pushed over the edge, I have a red flag zone where I must no matter what

 

[downndone2]

Yes, the top reason I do not want to live is heartbreak with a dozen other issues

 

[ArcherFiles44]

For me it is. All my relationships went to shit. All my exes hate me. I did everything I could to maintain a good relationship yet somehow, something always had to go wrong. I couldn't find a reason to live for myself so I found it in others. I actually felt happy for once, I actually felt something. But now I feel used up and unable to love or feel something again.

Yes exactly

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Nobody should ever CTB over the heartbreak of a break up. I understand how painful it can be but this is a spontaneous act. The wounds will heal with time. There are no soul mates. There are simply some good ones and some bad ones. You can always find another one. Your happiness shouldn't depend on somebody else anyways.

My case wasn't a breakup (we were never together). This particular moment of heartbreak that happened in 2020 just made me realize I'd never find anyone better and even if I did then it wouldn't be fair to that new person anyway because I will absolutely wind up comparing them to the one who previously broke my heart since she already was so so so so so close to being perfect for me (and in her words, I was very close to perfect for her too in a lot of ways). So no I can't find another one no matter how much I desperately want to.

This is also not a spontaneous act for me since I've been planning my CTB since this pseudo breakup happened almost 1.5 years ago plus my wounds of this sort have never managed to heal within a reasonable amount of time. Even while I was reeling over the heartbreak I had experienced in 2020, my wounds from a different case that happened in 2015 only reopened since they never truly went away. Yeah maybe I could get over it all in like 20 more years but I absolutely refuse to wait even a single year longer than I need to.

I wish this stupid cliche you're trying to enforce of loving myself before I could love anyone else actually worked for me but sadly it doesn't. I literally have no motivation to care since my motivations are purely extrinsic. If that sounds appalling to anyone then surely you can agree that this alone is a good reason for me to be dead. Might as well let me handle the dirty work myself.

 

[TheWood]

My case wasn't a breakup (we were never together). This particular moment of heartbreak that happened in 2020 just made me realize I'd never find anyone better and even if I did then it wouldn't be fair to that new person anyway because I will absolutely wind up comparing them to the one who previously broke my heart since she already was so so so so so close to being perfect for me (and in her words, I was very close to perfect for her too in a lot of ways). So no I can't find another one no matter how much I desperately want to.

This is also not a spontaneous act for me since I've been planning my CTB since this pseudo breakup happened almost 1.5 years ago plus my wounds of this sort have never managed to heal within a reasonable amount of time. Even while I was reeling over the heartbreak I had experienced in 2020, my wounds from a different case that happened in 2015 only reopened since they never truly went away. Yeah maybe I could get over it all in like 20 more years but I absolutely refuse to wait even a single year longer than I need to.

I wish this stupid cliche you're trying to enforce of loving myself before I could love anyone else actually worked for me but sadly it doesn't. I literally have no motivation to care since my motivations are purely extrinsic. If that sounds appalling to anyone then surely you can agree that this alone is a good reason for me to be dead. Might as well let me handle the dirty work myself.

You always have to look at the facts and not the words. If a person tells that you'd be perfect for him/ her but afterwards nothing happens (because maybe she/ he goes away, finds another etc). Well, then maybe you weren't worth so much to this person and she/ he just kept you good with his nice words. Remember, never base your happiness on other people, because it's the way to have a life full of suffering

 

[Al_stargate]

Sorry about anyone's painful experience of heartbreak whether it's from a breakup or passing. Don't think about killing yourself to get back at anyone. What helped me was to find someone else. There are other great people out there, you just need to get to know them. It's hard when you devoted such a huge part of yourself to someone for a long time but life moves on. Would they want you to kill yourself? No. You have to move on, what else is there to do.

 

[ornitier199]

Don't think about killing yourself to get back at anyone. What helped me was to find someone else. There are other great people out there, you just need to get to know them. It's hard when you devoted such a huge part of yourself to someone for a long time but life moves on. Would they want you to kill yourself? No. You have to move on, what else is there to do.

Well everyone has their reasons; pain is pain. Reasons shouldn't be deterred for anything.

 

[TheWood]

Well everyone has their reasons; pain is pain. Reasons shouldn't be deterred for anything.

You're right. However, see a person throw himself/ herself away for someone is very sad

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

You always have to look at the facts and not the words. If a person tells that you'd be perfect for him/ her but afterwards nothing happens (because maybe she/ he goes away, finds another etc). Well, then maybe you weren't worth so much to this person and she/ he just kept you good with his nice words. Remember, never base your happiness on other people, because it's the way to have a life full of suffering

Eh, if she lied then that just spells even more doom for me because my point is that she was the closest I ever got to having a relationship I would be happy with and the realization that it literally won't get any better is the main basis of my CTB. My happiness necessitates being based on other people because I hate myself so much anyway that my own happiness is simultaneously making me unhappy seeing such an undeserving moron feel good for any reason. My life is already full of suffering because I enjoy making myself suffer, simple as that.

Sorry about anyone's painful experience of heartbreak whether it's from a breakup or passing. Don't think about killing yourself to get back at anyone. What helped me was to find someone else. There are other great people out there, you just need to get to know them. It's hard when you devoted such a huge part of yourself to someone for a long time but life moves on. Would they want you to kill yourself? No. You have to move on, what else is there to do.

Not killing myself to get back at anyone, except for myself for making people understandably not want to be with me in the first place. Moving on is also the stupidest cliche I've ever heard because why the hell should I be forced to move anywhere if I'm not sure where I'm going? Maybe if there was someone new in my life i cared for then I could move toward them but until then I refuse to budge from where I am now and potentially wander into an even worse situation.

 

[TheWood]

Eh, if she lied then that just spells even more doom for me because my point is that she was the closest I ever got to having a relationship I would be happy with and the realization that it literally won't get any better is the main basis of my CTB. My happiness necessitates being based on other people because I hate myself so much anyway that my own happiness is simultaneously making me unhappy seeing such an undeserving moron feel good for any reason. My life is already full of suffering because I enjoy making myself suffer, simple as that.

I've seen people including my relatives, literally ruin their existence to run after toxic loves. They were so stubborn that in the end they succeeded and the result was dysfunctional and certainly not happy relationships. These people could not love themselves because they'd never received the necessary affection in childhood and having no awareness of the problem, they always thought they were the only culprits

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I've seen people including my relatives, literally ruin their existence to run after toxic loves. They were so stubborn that in the end they succeeded and the result was dysfunctional and certainly not happy relationships. These people could not love themselves because they'd never received the necessary affection in childhood and having no awareness of the problem, they always thought they were the problem, the culprits

Precisely why I should just CTB soon before I stumble into that sort of trouble. Doesn't mean I have to love myself.

 

[TheWood]

Precisely why I should just CTB soon before I stumble into that sort of trouble. Doesn't mean I have to love myself.

Every choice here will be respected despite everything

 

[FuneralCry]

No, not heartbreak. Relationships are something I never want to experience. I will always be alone. I do feel broken though, in many ways. It is what life does to people. I just want to be free from all suffering. For me, the pain will only end when I die. The way I see it, we all have the right to exit this world at a time of our own choosing and nobody needs to justify their reasons for leaving. When to leave this world is an personal choice.

 

[MatthewV3]

For me it's mostly loneliness. I have never had a girlfriend, females friends. I don't have any friends at all. The only people I'm talking to are the members of my family.

 

[sealbabies]

Sorry about anyone's painful experience of heartbreak whether it's from a breakup or passing. Don't think about killing yourself to get back at anyone. What helped me was to find someone else. There are other great people out there, you just need to get to know them. It's hard when you devoted such a huge part of yourself to someone for a long time but life moves on. Would they want you to kill yourself? No. You have to move on, what else is there to do.

Sorry, but I must clarify there is no "getting back at anyone" if you lose someone to tragedy. Also the last thing in the world I personally want is to move on just because great people exist out there. I'm aware there are lovely people, but I am changed. Someone who dedicated themselves to you/vice versa for years only to lose everything instantly messes with you in ways that there is no room for someone else. Living for myself would always feel like a lie, more like waiting for everything to hurry up and end.
Regardless of what my deceased partner would have wanted, I know the last thing he'd want is to leave me the way things did.
Life is just cruel sometimes, and he is no longer here. Think it's rather hard to pretend you know what they would think when they no longer have a functioning brain anyways.

 

[ornitier199]

No, that may have been back in dreadful 2020/2021, but no.
Now it's money. Putting everything behind a paywall is bound to do that.
If only I could get my hand son the euthanasia drug.

No, not heartbreak. Relationships are something I never want to experience.

Yeah. I too don't feel I could babysit a relationship. Being alone so long I've gotten use to my own company, and while then I would think it would be something to have someone, no, never mind living with them.
I just want write and make games and be able to leave when I'm ready to leave.

 

[lili]

Yeah I felt really hurt over someone who said multiple times he loves me constantly flipping back and forth about it. He would get angry if I told him I didn't believe him, but now that I decided to believe him and fell for him he now says he feels nothing for me.

I'm tired of all the mind games that loving someone entails. I'm tired of being used like that and taken advantage off. The last time I saw him he was crying and breaking things in his apartment, and I was there to console him. A few days later he ignored me at a party, despite us sleeping together since October.

People are cruel in this world and I'm done. On the other hand, I still live with my ex boyfriend since October and all I do is keep tormenting him the longer I stay here. But I can't afford to move.

This is just awful what's happening and I want everything to just end. I always seem to get into really messy love situations.

 

[tonytwist007]

Yeah, most definitely. My daughter is my whole world but her mother has poisoned her mind and I have not been able to see her for over 2 years. All of my phone calls and letters go unanswered. They have since purchased and moved into a $2.9M home and I don't see any hope in her ever wanting to come back to my little townhome. If I had a gun right now...... Hoping to CBT at the local gun range soon.

 

[Al_stargate]

Someone who dedicated themselves to you/vice versa for years only to lose everything instantly messes with you in ways that there is no room for someone else.

It must be incredibly hard losing someone like that, like losing a part of yourself. I've never been in a long-term relationship so wouldn't know really. If any of my former gfs died, I'd be hurt from what I can imagine. Pain of losing soulmate and life partner, honestly can't imagine. I guess the most one can do is to give it some time.

 

[Mtnwildflowers]

Nobody should ever CTB over the heartbreak of a break up. I understand how painful it can be but this is a spontaneous act. The wounds will heal with time. There are no soul mates. There are simply some good ones and some bad ones. You can always find another one. Your happiness shouldn't depend on somebody else anyways.

Feel this for sure. Relationships won't cure chronic severe suicidal depression. If you can't find a good place with it outside of relationships, you won't find it within them no doubt.

 

[RetroChaos]

I cannot stand people who go on saying "there's other people out there, just find someone else!".
I don't want to. My partner of 9 years left me and it was my fault. I can't live with myself and she hates me enough to call the pigs on me for trying to apologise to her. I don't care, I'm so done with life. I cannot go on without her and if I've caused her pain that's even more reason for me to CTB. Anyone who calls anyone selfish for CTB is a damn hypocrite considering we can all be considered selfish in wider society.