Discussion is happiness a choice?

[Death is my goal]

i saw a tweet that happiness is a choice and it made me google it and looks like many articles agrees? and it got me confused and irritated.. it kinda make depressed people choose to be depressed and we have the option to be "happy" just if we choose to

what do you think?

 

[54378]

Just ignorant people being ignorant. Nothing new.

 

[illmissmydogthatsit]

This is something I grapple with myself. Since childhood we are fed the notion that happiness is a choice. Ultimately I believe this isn't true. I have depression that doesn't respond to treatment, and let me tell you, nobody would choose to feel this way. The suffering I feel is inhumane. The fact that the mechanism behind depression/suicidal feelings+behavior is not fully understood does not mean it is not a valid and extremely difficult psychological phenomenon.

That's my view, after years of believing happiness is a choice. After years of fighting, I've learned that it really isn't. To achieve happiness, one has to fight long and hard to overcome the disorder. One could argue that it is a choice to fight for happiness, which is somewhat true, although it is more complicated than that.
I'm still fighting, but I am far from succeeding.
Hope that makes sense, may have contradicted myself a little:/

 

[OceanBlue]

The worst part for me is that they frame this happiness as the right choice. I view happiness as ignorance and arrogance, so people who choose it often end up harming others as they don't assess the world realistically or lack compassion.

Depression seems to be a condition that happens to people despite their views or intelligence, you can't choose not to have it.

Either way, no one should be surprised that it's so hard finding happiness living in hell. You're just as likely to find a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

 

[UsagiDrop]

I've been told that so many times in so many ways. Basically, you're supposed to wake up in the morning and "choose" happiness. As in, you choose to be happy despite whatever is going on, you choose to not let the "small" things ruin your day, you choose how you're going to perceive the things that happen to you throughout that day, and then you go to sleep and repeat the process. Obviously, it's nonsense and it's a form of ignoring yourself and your feelings. Not everyone can choose to be happy for several reasons, but it's certainly convenient for people the people that "can" to believe that they can.

Depressed people don't choose to be depressed, but it's better for people to believe that too. Makes it easier for them to turn a blind eye to those that are suffering and dismiss them, or even blame them. It's the same rhetoric as people "choosing" to be broke or in poverty with their "bad spending habits." The depressed and hurting just have bad thinking habits, so it's their problem and their's alone.

 

[Unending]

When you are not clinically depressed or traumatized or anything like that, you have a lot more power over snapping out of bad moods via coping mechanisms. I would argue that all these coping mechanisms (such as things you learn in DBT) don't do a single thing for some severely depressed or traumatized people except gaslight them into thinking they aren't trying hard enough to get it right when in fact they are almost certainly trying harder than neurotypical people have to. Just to clarify, I think dbt works for some people but I'm sort of discussing the demographic it doesn't help. People just need to realize that not everyone is in the same boat and stop gaslighting suffering people into thinking its their fault. Maybe that's not how everyone percieves it but I do indeed feel gaslit by societies happy happy bullshit.

The worst part for me is that they frame this happiness as the right choice. I view happiness as ignorance and arrogance,

Right, there are a lot of unfortunate truths about life that can make it pretty damn hard to be happy. That being said I definitely have mental disorders and am not really brought down to the effed up horrible level just by knowledge alone.

 

[Vizzy]

i saw a tweet that happiness is a choice and it made me google it and looks like many articles agrees? and it got me confused and irritated.. it kinda make depressed people choose to be depressed and we have the option to be "happy" just if we choose to

what do you think?

If happiness is a choice, there are a lot of successful people in this world, they are all unhappy and many do ctb

Humans need some kind of appreciation or desired success (key word is desired) to be happy, I will give you a scenario let say a person want to be a doctor but he can't get into university for that because of his low grades but he got engineering in some good universities so what happens is that person is gonna study engineering, get a good job and make good money as a engineer but they will be unhappy because even though they make good money and successful like doctor still it is not desired success which is gonna be in their mind entire life, at some point it's gonna become suicidal

Humans can be happy only when things go as they desired which is why life is ain't fair so no way happiness is a choice

In my case my desired success is to be like Michael Jordan basketball player but I am not built or blessed like him still I went to a best university which is in top 100 in the world, I have double masters with a great job paid me serious money (now I am resigned), I was not happy because whenever I see Michael Jordan in tv or social media I am sad like why I can't have a life like that but my friends and family members are jealous of my life lol so for humans happiness come with desired success and desired life!

 

[Linda]

i saw a tweet that happiness is a choice and it made me google it and looks like many articles agrees? and it got me confused and irritated.. it kinda make depressed people choose to be depressed and we have the option to be "happy" just if we choose to

what do you think?

It's definitely not a choice. Scientists have actually studied this, and your "typical" level of happiness is largely set by your genes (and perhaps by your early life). Pleasant events and bad events can move you from your typical level for a while, but over the long term you tend to return to it.

You have no direct control over your level of happiness. If I decide now to be a bit more happy, or a bit less happy, by this time tomorrow, what would happen? The same as if I decide to be 3 inches taller, or 5 years younger, by this time tomorrow. Absolutely nothing.

There are probably only three things within your control that are likely to have much effect on your level of happiness. (1) Find someone to love. (2) Find something useful to do in life. (3) Avoid making any really disastrous decisions. For most people, the first two will usually increase happiness to some extent, though in you do need to find the right person or the right job/activity.

 

[leavingsoon99]

Yes and no. I mean, I choose to be happy, despite the depressing reality of the human world. Sometimes, I let myself feel and own my depression. So, I guess it's all how you look at it.

 

[tiny_dancer]

This statement comes from people who likely have never been in a bad enough situation to HAVE to "choose" happiness despite immense suffering.

 

[ringo99]

For some people I suppose. Then again how can we tell whether people are truly happy these days?

 

[Hollowman]

No

 

[AerialBoundaries]

Certain people tend to be blissfully ignorant and therefore more happy in general.

I was a happy child, for the most part, but once I grew up and began to experience the world for what it truly is, I've never been happy.

 

[Source Energy]

No. I'm trying so hard to be happy, and I can't.

 

[FuneralCry]

Articles like that just sound like delusional nonsense, I just think the reality is that the whole idea of "happiness" is irrational in this harmful world filled with potential for the most extreme suffering. To me existing is just a pointless, futile chore that could never be worth enduring, it's an unnecessary burden being trapped here and I think that wanting suicide is a logical response to existing here and that hating existing makes so much sense.

Because all that this futile struggle leads to is being tortured by old age and then we cease existing anyway, this reality isn't appealing to me and existence repulses me. So to me the whole idea of "happiness" in this world is just delusional nonsense and whatever those people say in articles is just toxic positivity, people who are in denial and lack any awareness.

Because I think if one has awareness they can come to the conclusion that this world is such a harmful place to exist in and that existence is hell. But I think that if anyone is content with this reality then they must be privledged and severely deluded, as all human beings suffer and if someone isn't suffering too much now they will do eventually more in the future.

 

[rachelo]

Happiness is subjective. What does happiness feel like to you?

 

[jorheslen428]

Lol

Why didn't I think of that? I just had to choose to be happy and I would no longer have treatment resistant depression and anhedonia. Gosh, why'd I waste so many years in therapy and trying medication when all I had to do was just… choose to be happy. I feel so stupid. I'm glad there are intelligent people like the ones who think this to show the rest of us normies that happiness is a choice. We're truly blessed.

/s

Shoot me now please. It reminds me of when my roommate gave me unsolicited advice after going to the psych ward and told me to just "be strong". Like if it was that easy, this shit wouldn't fucking happen, would it?

 

[TheNihilisticViking]

Is suffering a choice? No. Therefore happiness isn't either. Here's the main difference: Suffering is real. Happiness (and many other emotions) are just chemical reactions in the brain/body to certain things around you. Almost everything in human life is a social construction made to take away the mundanity of life. Language is made up because our ancestors just slapped sounds which turned into words to describe things, time is made up (it's not 2023 because that's the religious time scale). Love is also made up, too. It's just chemicals during the bonding and mating processes.

 

[Little_Suzy]

Is negativity a choice?

You can choose happiness or negativity.

I choose happiness!!!

 

[SoftWorries]

I don't think happiness is a choice but unhappiness is often a choice.

I was choosing to stay in a bad relationship and to keep in contact with abusive parents up until a few years ago when I went no contact with toxic people.

Happiness is much easier now that I don't choose suffering.

 

[Little_Suzy]

Is suffering a choice? No. Therefore happiness isn't either. Here's the main difference: Suffering is real. Happiness (and many other emotions) are just chemical reactions in the brain/body to certain things around you. Almost everything in human life is a social construction made to take away the mundanity of life. Language is made up because our ancestors just slapped sounds which turned into words to describe things, time is made up (it's not 2023 because that's the religious time scale). Love is also made up, too. It's just chemicals during the bonding and mating processes.

Have you ever had a dog?

My dog saved my life. Puppy love is fur real!

 

[kwho]

"Happy is not the right word. This world is not a place where we can be happy. It wasn't created for man's happiness, though many believe this is the reason of our existence. I think we are here to fight, so that good and evil can clash within us, and good may prevail, thus enriching us spiritually. It's difficult to say whether we are happy or not: it doesn't depend on us… There are times when one regrets being born, but life also gives us surprising things that, alone, are worth living. The issue of happiness doesn't exist for me: happiness as such doesn't exist."

― Andrei Tarkovsky

For myself, i can honestly say that i've never been interested in happiness. It is boring and shallow. Moments of joy and enjoyment, contentment and being at peace with yourself - yes, but happiness is just self-delusion. I don't even know what is it supposed to be?

 

[unnormal9]

What kind of answer are looking for?

 

[Superdeterminist]

It isn't. In fact, nothing is.

 

[msocks]

Well that's annoying.

Sure I can choose to do things that might improve or worsen my mood temporarily. There are lots of external factors that we don't have control over though. So I definitely don't think it's a direct choice.

Sometimes I can accept my current situation and be content but I don't know the last time I was 'happy' for an extended amount of time. Some things can bring me small bursts of joy but it's not lasting for days on end or anything long term.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I think choosing to fight depression or low mood is a choice. I'm not so sure the initial emotions/reactions themselves are. I suppose the hope is that- if you try to make yourself think more positively- you may end up actually believing it and become happy- or, happier at least. I don't know if it's always possible though and I certainly haven't made the effort to try myself.

Speaking personally- I do tend to wallow in my own misery. I realise that's selfish but I also have very few people in my life for it to impact.

I certainly think you can become more comfortable with feeling unhappy. It can feel like a more reasonable response to your life situation. I think life can also teach us that having periods of hopefulness can lead to even bigger crashes- if the things we pinned our hopes on fails. Sometimes, feeling peasamistic just feels safer!

I also think that- depending on how long someone has been unhappy- it can feel a part of their character. To suddenly feel- or, at least act happy can feel very false.

 

[Das Nichts]

Happiness is the skill to effectively gaslight yourself.

 

[unnormal9]

I can choose to be happy and repress my true feelings.
I can choose to be happy to appease others
I can choose to be happy to not be a burden slug to everyone I encounter.
I can faux happiness over real emotion

 

[Valky]

No. That is all I need to say to this. No.

If happiness was a choice then stuff like physical, as well as mental illness wouldn't be a thing.

'it's all about your attitude tho'.
Fuck no, every person can only take so much. They bend and they bend until they break. That is not a choice. It's the impact of life.

 

[CentreMid]

i saw a tweet that happiness is a choice and it made me google it and looks like many articles agrees? and it got me confused and irritated.. it kinda make depressed people choose to be depressed and we have the option to be "happy" just if we choose to

what do you think?

Ignore that drivel. Happiness is not a choice.