Is expressing distress, expressing pain, and even threatening CTB, constantly, because it's unappeasable, toxic, manipulative, aggressive behavior?

[disabledlife]

Is always expressing your distress, talking when you're at the end of your rope, expressing your pain and even threatening to CTB, constantly, because it's unappeasable, toxic, manipulative, aggressive behavior?


I had a lynching on social networks from members of my high IQ association (I had made a thread here for my story), because I talked too much about my suffering, because I had from time to time need to evacuate, to simply speak. There were people who blocked me and competed with what I did (groups on Facebook in particular) to create their own groups and erase me from their existence.

 

[hungry_ghost]

In some cases, yes.

Mostly the part about threatening to CTB.

It depends on the context in which someone is saying it.

Some people threaten suicide as a means of coercing someone into doing something, or as a means of deflecting blame/responsibility.

 

[GrumpyFrog]

I'm sorry this situation has been so upsetting to you.
I'm not sure if I understood your question correctly, but I'll try to answer to the best of my ability. Expressing your distress and pain isn't toxic, manipulative or aggressive. But, depending on the situation and people it is aimed at, it might be inappropriate. It is not aggressive to express your pain, but other people are not under any obligation to listen even if you want to be heard, if the social group you're in was not formed as a support group for people to share their feelings with each other. Sometimes people just don't want to support and hear out anyone, for whatever reason, and there isn't much we can do about it, other than look for an outlet elsewhere. I'm sorry if this is upsetting you.
Threatening people with suicide, however, is a whole other can of worms. I don't think it is acceptable to make other people responsible for your decision to CTB and I think most people would agree with me.

 

[disabledlife]

So it's good to avoid CTB threats, I had seen posts like this by other people in my groups. I avoid on my side, for three reasons.

First reason, the people responsible are my parents from my birth and the state for allowing abuse during my childhood and school, and the people I want to talk to I only ask for listening, my CTB does not concern them.

Second reason, quite simply by this threats can compose CTB, with the intervention of the police, firefighters, and forced hospitalization. CTB should be hidden if possible.

Third reason, I planned to benefit from assisted suicide in Switzerland, CTB as a second resort possibly, and that before that I have things to do in my life, like putting my affairs in order for example.

But I have another question. When someone CTB but the cause is an injustice, a bad birth for example, are the parents responsible (in the case of the birth)? I should have created a separate topic for this last question.

 

[MindFog]

Yes, it could be but it all boils down to intent.

Although, I personally think it's dangerous to label this behavior as manipulative cos you cannot properly point out which is which.

It risks pushing people who are in distress to even more pain.. It just turns into downplaying your emotions.

 

[GrumpyFrog]

I had seen posts like this by other people in my groups

That is very concerning, I wouldn't advise to hang out with people who threaten suicide in social network groups.

quite simply by this threats can compose CTB, with the intervention of the police, firefighters, and forced hospitalization. CTB should be hidden if possible.

Yes, it is a very sound point. The most obvious and logical reaction of someone receiving a suicide threat is to reach out to the emergency services.

When someone CTB but the cause is an injustice, a bad birth for example, are the parents responsible (in the case of the birth)?

This is a wide philosophical question. Many people on here would say that yes, parents are always responsible. I do not exactly agree with this opinion, I do not believe that parents are responsible just because being born exposes you to a risk of suffering. They do, however, hold a certain degree of responsibility for the kind of upbringing they provided to their child, if the upbringing was traumatic because the parents were neglectful, abusive or exposed their child to other abusive individuals, or if the parents were in no position to parent (mental health issues, severe physical health issues, substance abuse problems, legal trouble, poverty with little prospects etc.) - then yes, they are partially responsible for raising an individual that will eventually CTB, no matter what their child's age is when they become suicidal. I wouldn't say they hold complete responsibility - in the end CTB is a personal decision, and I don't think there is any point in threatening your parents with CTB because they gave birth to you, because what can they do to resolve it? They cannot exactly unbirth you.

 

[makethepainstop]

Is always expressing your distress, talking when you're at the end of your rope, expressing your pain and even threatening to CTB, constantly, because it's unappeasable, toxic, manipulative, aggressive behavior?


I had a lynching on social networks from members of my high IQ association (I had made a thread here for my story), because I talked too much about my suffering, because I had from time to time need to evacuate, to simply speak. There were people who blocked me and competed with what I did (groups on Facebook in particular) to create their own groups and erase me from their existence.

No it is as sweet a very rare wine to be actually able to state your true feelings here. And there is no fear of being committed, and condemned for stating your real feelings. Love to all here.

 

[Forever Sleep]

But I have another question. When someone CTB but the cause is an injustice, a bad birth for example, are the parents responsible (in the case of the birth)? I should have created a separate topic for this last question.

There was a case where a guy sued his parents for giving birth to him:

Indian man to sue parents for giving birth to him

This Indian man says it's wrong to bring children into the world and burden them with expectations.

www.bbc.com

He actually seemed to love his parents but didn't like the idea of being born without consent.

I, like many others wish I hadn't been born but personally, I don't feel like I can 'blame' my parents. Their lives had been relatively happy I believe, so they had no reason to suspect mine would turn out like this. I can't get my head around people who are struggling themselves (for whatever reason) bringing life into the world but I guess none of us really know what we'd do in another person's shoes.

 

[lifeORdeath]

I told someone that I love, and who loves me, that I was going to die and it's just a matter of time. I can't stop it, I have to do it.

And proceeded to get beat upside my head, because it hurt their feelings so badly. Stuff thrown at me that broke when it hit me. This is a non violent person too, who I have never seen act this way, in the decades that I have have known them.

I gladly took it because I deserve it and more. I wished it would have killed me

 

[disabledlife]

A threat to CTB is "do this or I CTB", right? I find it bad indeed, I hope that these people do it involuntarily.

On the other hand, when a person informs, repeatedly, that he is going to CTB, just for informational purposes without threatening anyone.

He doesn't want to threaten anyone, but that it's just his living situation that pushes him to CTB, but that he wanted to talk, even repeatedly, to relieve himself, just to ask for comfort.

Is this a threat to CTB?

 

[GrumpyFrog]

A threat to CTB is "do this or I CTB", right? I find it bad indeed, I hope that these people do it involuntarily.

On the other hand, when a person informs, repeatedly, that he is going to CTB, just for informational purposes without threatening anyone.

He doesn't want to threaten anyone, but that it's just his living situation that pushes him to CTB, but that he wanted to talk, even repeatedly, to relieve himself, just to ask for comfort.

Is this a threat to CTB?

Yeah, a threat to CTB is basically "I will CTB if/unless" that puts responsibility on the listener for acting to prevent the speaker from CTB.
Just a random "I feel bad and I'm going to off myself" is not a threat per se, but it can be perceived as such when it is expressed suddenly without warning in a situation where a conversation about deep and dark feelings is not expected, especially when it is expressed in response to something negative or unpleasant, for example "I think the solution you're offering isn't going to work" - "oh no, I'm going to CTB then", or "we will need to work overtime on this project" - "oh my god I'm so tired, I'm going to CTB". In the context, it basically becomes "do something to fix this thing you just told me about, or I'm going to hurt myself and it will be your fault".
Just asking for comfort is not a threat of suicide, but it is important to make sure the other person understands that a serious conversation is about to take place and that you just want comfort and to be heard, and don't expect them to solve all your problems and make it so you aren't suicidal anymore. They will probably feel obligated to help to some extent anyway, but once there is clear intent from a suicidal person to push this obligation onto someone else, such behavior becomes manipulative and toxic.

 

[Mofreeko]

high IQ association

 

[disabledlife]

I didn't think that when someone just asks for comfort, that they go CTB anyway, just to appease their end of life, could also be considered a threat and be toxic. Too bad that euthanasia or assisted suicide is not legal in many countries in the world, because there is the possibility of being surrounded by loved ones at the end of life. But, here again, we can find ourselves in a toxic situation if we wish to be surrounded at the end of life, including when euthanasia is legal for example. This is why many people are alone before dying, either by CTB or by euthanasia. It's sad.