Discussion Is CTB selfish when you are in a relationship?

[binks23]

My boyfriend absolutely does NOT understand why CTB could be the best option for some people. If I were to tell him about any CTB plans, he would do anything in his power to stop me. Is planning my CTB behind his back selfish?

 

[evannave]

I wouldn't call it selfish. Ultimately it is your life and you have the choice to end it whenever you choose. However, I'd definitely save him the grief and end the relationship if you are planning to CTB.

 

[ieatcrayons]

I'm in a similar situation in which my partner would do anything to stop me from ctb. No matter how you ctb it will always hurt most people around you. It's really hard not to be hurt by the death of a loved one. Personally, I feel the need to at least let them know beforehand about my desire to ctb, the reasons why, demonstrate how the pain I feel ruins my life to a very significant level, and explain why I feel ctb is the only option I have left. In short, I believe that it's fair to let them help you to the best of their ability before considering to ctb. You don't want to ctb unless you are certain you have no other choice and in my opinion you don't want to die and leave your loved ones thinking about how they may have been able to help you. That being said, ctb is a personal choice. Whatever choice you may make, I implore you to seek internal approval for your choices instead of being controlled by outside influences.

 

[AmericanMary]

My boyfriend absolutely does NOT understand why CTB could be the best option for some people. If I were to tell him about any CTB plans, he would do anything in his power to stop me. Is planning my CTB behind his back selfish?

I honestly think it's more selfish to ask somebody to live in pain & fight a hopeless battle every single day of their life just so you can be happy.

However I can almost guarantee this is not how the majority of people see it.

I personally have not breathed a word of CTB to my husband. I do feel bad about this. Ideally, I would like him to know. I would like to spend my last day celebrating together. I would like for him to understand how badly I want peace & to sleep.

However, this would not be my case. I'd be admitted into a mental hospital and then later divorced.

 

[Agon321]

It depends on what you mean.
It depends on what your definition is.
In my opinion this is selfish.
But is it bad? Not necessarily.

Sometimes in life you also have to be a selfish person.
When you give your heart to the world, it will be eaten.

There are situations in which selfishness is the best possible option.
Potentially, CTB is one of them.

In my case, I will also act selfishly.
I know my CTB will impact my family, but I don't want to think about it.
I'm going to be selfish here, but from my perspective it's not a bad thing.
The world is not black and white.

At the end of the day, you are the one who has to make the decisions. Decisions that affect your life.
Want CTB? Are you sure about your decision? Have you exhausted all your options? Don't you want to fight? Can't you fight? You are tired?
You have to answer these questions and others yourself.

I don't know your relationship with your partner.
I don't know how close you are.
I don't know if your partner knows about your problems.
In general, I believe that we should not keep secrets from people with whom we have a deep bond (of course, I don't know if you have a deep bond).
The problem with CTB is that if you tell him, he will try to stop you.
Therefore, this is not the best option.

If you haven't made a final decision yet and you have a deep bond with your partner, you can talk to him seriously. Of course, don't necessarily talk about your thoughts to CTB.

Either way, good luck.

 

[moeyogosankosappo]

My boyfriend absolutely does NOT understand why CTB could be the best option for some people. If I were to tell him about any CTB plans, he would do anything in his power to stop me. Is planning my CTB behind his back selfish?

i think its selfish if ure in loving relationship. because if u want to CTB and stay in relationship ur partner will anyway feel myself bad. if u already sure about it u better stop torturing him and leave. it will hurt, but if u will stay together longer it will hurt more. but if ure just planning and not sure u should think about it deep.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Maybe, but so is anything you do in a relationship. Whatever you do for your partner, you're also doing it for yourself. Stay with them? It's because you selfishly want to stay happy. Leave them? You selfishly want them to be happy in a way that actually makes you happy? Have kids? Selfish. Don't have kids? Also selfish (twice the income with none of the responsibilities or worries).

 

[Fantasy22]

To me, ctb is someone whose suffering is finally ending. I know outsiders have different opinions about it, but I could never find it selfish myself. If it happened to someone I know personally I'd be surprised but I won't hold it against them

 

[moeyogosankosappo]

To me, ctb is someone whose suffering is finally ending. I know outsiders have different opinions about it, but I could never find it selfish myself. If it happened to someone I know personally I'd be surprised but I won't hold it against them

yes, but while someone finally founds end of suffering someone else (their partner) will miss them depends on how much they was close. id say its a bit selfish to leave suffering on someone else
but its their choise imho... but if they loved their partner and was loved by him thats really difficult

 

[Fantasy22]

yes, but while someone finally founds end of suffering someone else (their partner) will miss them depends on how much they was close. id say its a bit selfish to leave suffering on someone else
but its their choise imho... but if they loved their partner and was loved by him thats really difficult

I've had a partner die while they were with me before. I consider it different tho bc it wasn't ctb it was an accident and I do truly wish they were alive but mostly bc I knew how happy they were at that moment in their life. I think if they were suffering and told me they wanted to ctb I'd probably won't stop them, that'll make me a hypocrite. In fact I'd probably try to make some sorta pact with them, bc we're all suffering and it's easier to go out together.

I say all these things but in practice I'm not sure, it not a common situation for me

 

[Begotten]

You can't force someone who loves you to understand why ctb is even an option for you, they just wont.
but since its totally your choice i'd say to just let him be free if you're planning to ctb, make things clear, break up this relationship and keep your distance.
at least like that you wont make the guy lifes miserable by thinking he could have done something to keep you on this world, it would haunt him until the end of his days.

But, that's just my overall opinion about this subject, i dont know you guys.
Im sure you gonna handle this situation with him.