Is ctb always done from desperation?

[Ambivalent1]

When I was around 20, ctb seemed thrilling. I was so bored of the daily routine that I wanted a different kind of experience. My other problems were there but were less pressing. The thrill is gone. I don't view ctb as something to break the tedium anymore. It seems inevitable and sad and like a nullification of all my efforts to improve my life...to fall to my knees and admit defeat.

 

[020x]

There's two types of people:

First one is bored and tired from this life and just sees no point in continuing to live.

Then there's the 2nd person that suffers from chronic mental illnesses and/or physical pain. Where every day is barely bearable. This type of person usually has no other options than to ctb to achieve peace, because this life doesn't give any.

It's the 2nd type that does it out of desperation, because they became hopeless, because life has made permanent irreparable damage and leaves the individual in a torturing prison, which is a hell.

So, no. Not everyone who does ctb, does it out of desperation, most people can and are able to improve their lives and fight, they just prefer not to.

Also, the age doesn't matter, it's the situation that the person is in that does.

 

[Ambivalent1]

There's two types of people:
First one is bored and tired from this life and just sees no point in continuing to live.

Then there's the 2nd person that suffers from chronic mental illnesses and/or physical pain. Where every day is barely bearable. This type of person usually has no other options than to ctb to achieve peace, because this life doesn't give any.

It's the 2nd type that does it out of desperation, because they became hopeless, because life has made permanent irreparable damage and leaves the individual in a torturing prison, which is a hell.

So, no. Not everyone who does ctb, does it out of desperation, most people can and are able to improve their lives and fight, they just prefer not to.

Also, the age doesn't matter, it's the situation that the person is in that does.

I'm in both groups. The rare moments I'm not consumed by the awfulness of my health issues is when the boredom and pointlessness kicks in. The latter is harder for me to deal with. My issues take up all my attention and give me something to focus on.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

This looks like a simple question but in fact it's complex because nothing here is just black and white. Many things are coming together when someone considers ctb or does ctb in the end when pain, suffering, desperation, hopelessness and when everything all together becomes overwhelming und unbearable it's possible to overcome SI.

 

[Ambivalent1]

This looks like a simple question but in fact it's complex because nothing here is just black and white. Many things are coming together when someone considers ctb or does ctb in the end when pain, suffering, desperation, hopelessness and when everything all together becomes overwhelming und unbearable it's possible to overcome SI.

I never quite land at that spot. I get close and just when I think I can't take anymore, the pressure recedes usually after having slept.

 

[Forever Sleep]

It's an interesting question. I suspect there is usually desperation there. Even feeling apathy can feel sort of desperate- because you know- with no interest in anything, there's nothing to motivate you to even attempt to hang on. People can feel desperate when they feel pushed into a decision. Plus- ALL people who CTB seem to be desperate to escape life. No matter the circumstances.

The other thing is whether the act itself is committed in a desperate state. Personally, I'm hoping I can bring myself to be calm if I ever have the courage to do it. I doubt SI will let me though.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I never quite land at that spot. I get close and just when I think I can't take anymore, the pressure recedes usually after having slept.

That sounds a bit like SI is trying its best to prevent ctb. I'm sorry you have to go through this.

 

[Ambivalent1]

That sounds a bit like SI is trying its best to prevent ctb. I'm sorry you have to go through this.

Si is insidious

 

[offbalance]

It's an interesting question. I suspect there is usually desperation there. Even feeling apathy can feel sort of desperate- because you know- with no interest in anything, there's nothing to motivate you to even attempt to hang on. People can feel desperate when they feel pushed into a decision. Plus- ALL people who CTB seem to be desperate to escape life. No matter the circumstances.

The other thing is whether the act itself is committed in a desperate state. Personally, I'm hoping I can bring myself to be calm if I ever have the courage to do it. I doubt SI will let me though.

Yeah this is an interesting question. I really like how you phrased apathy as a quiet desperation against life. Thats really good wording. I don't think when/if I do it I'll be in a desperate state, not in the conventional sense anyway, but the quiet pain is always there which is why I wanna do it. SI is harder to beat when the pain is usually more quiet, you know? Not that I don't have loud pain too but I hope you're getting my drift.

But yeah it seems like it can be said all people who CTB are desperate to escape life/pain

 

[Forever Sleep]

Yeah this is an interesting question. I really like how you phrased apathy as a quiet desperation against life. Thats really good wording. I don't think when/if I do it I'll be in a desperate state, not in the conventional sense anyway, but the quiet pain is always there which is why I wanna do it. SI is harder to beat when the pain is usually more quiet, you know? Not that I don't have loud pain too but I hope you're getting my drift.

But yeah it seems like it can be said all people who CTB are desperate to escape life/pain

Yes- that makes a lot of sense. I think many people view their suicide as a rational choice- so- they want the act itself to be undertaken in a calm state. Perhaps there's a greater chance of success then also- if the method requires taking things at certain times and preparing. Plus- hopefully less chance of backing out.

Yet- I agree- to get over that SI- maybe a more aggitated state is necessary. Some people kind of know that- even though they may need to prepare their method, the act itself may need to be impulsive for them- driven by- I suppose desperation/ pain in that moment.

 

[offbalance]

Yes- that makes a lot of sense. I think many people view their suicide as a rational choice- so- they want the act itself to be undertaken in a calm state. Perhaps there's a greater chance of success then also- if the method requires taking things at certain times and preparing. Plus- hopefully less chance of backing out.

Yet- I agree- to get over that SI- maybe a more aggitated state is necessary. Some people kind of know that- even though they may need to prepare their method, the act itself may need to be impulsive for them- driven by- I suppose desperation/ pain in that moment.

Well that's what gets me. I see what you're saying and I've thought about that too. I've thought maybe my suicide would have to be impulsive. But idk that also seems like a big decision based on a state that might be fleeting…

 

[DazaiKinnie]

When I was around 20, ctb seemed thrilling. I was so bored of the daily routine that I wanted a different kind of experience. My other problems were there but were less pressing. The thrill is gone. I don't view ctb as something to break the tedium anymore. It seems inevitable and sad and like a nullification of all my efforts to improve my life...to fall to my knees and admit defeat.

Not everyone ctb's from desperation. Sure, people with chronic illnesses might do that to escape and find peace. as the person above me said, there is the type of people who just got tired of life, both are equally valid in my mind.
And what you said about being bored of the daily routine, that's like most if not all of your adult life doing the same monotonous crap over and over again, finding an escape from that rarely.

 

[ringo99]

In my case it won't be desperation. I'm just tired of going on. Planned to do it next year after setting things up so my mom will be financially secure when I'm gone.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

the daily routine

That's an interesting point because for each living creature there is a daily routine which is basically food/water and sleeping and reproducing to keep the species alive. They are the natural habits we have and they should not be tiring. I think it's more the daily routines we are forced into due to the fact of the society behaviours we live in. This is unnatural and the human evolution did not have the time to adapt to it yet.

 

[FuneralCry]

I guess it just depends on the individual, we all experience existence differently after all, I imagine that many are very desperate, others are just tired and wanting to permanently rest, but overall I just believe that those who want to ctb just wish to escape, either from their circumstances or just existence itself. To me it makes logical sense why someone would wish to ctb when we are all just destined to die anyway, existing truly is just unnecessary suffering.

 

[Ambivalent1]

Not everyone ctb's from desperation. Sure, people with chronic illnesses might do that to escape and find peace. as the person above me said, there is the type of people who just got tired of life, both are equally valid in my mind.
And what you said about being bored of the daily routine, that's like most if not all of your adult life doing the same monotonous crap over and over again, finding an escape from that rarely.

How do other people deal with the monotony?

That's an interesting point because for each living creature there is a daily routine which is basically food/water and sleeping and reproducing to keep the species alive. They are the natural habits we have and they should not be tiring. I think it's more the daily routines we are forced into due to the fact of the society behaviours we live in. This is unnatural and the human evolution did not have the time to adapt to it yet.

And I have ocd so my routine is time consuming. No wonder I avoid it and watch tv or something instead. it's painful every time

 

[DazaiKinnie]

How do other people deal with the monotony?

And I have ocd so my routine is time consuming. No wonder I avoid it and watch tv or something instead. it's painful every time

Beats me. I don't know either. I have a routine but there isn't any monotony in it currently.

 

[Ambivalent1]

Beats me. I don't know either. I have a routine but there isn't any monotony in it currently.

Yes there is. Si hides it from you

 

[DazaiKinnie]

Yes there is. Si hides it from you

Interesting. Maybe I distract myself too well from it. IDK, beats me how I do it.

 

[FindingHome]

To reach this point it you must see no way on going on any longer.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

When I was around 20, ctb seemed thrilling. I was so bored of the daily routine that I wanted a different kind of experience. My other problems were there but were less pressing. The thrill is gone. I don't view ctb as something to break the tedium anymore. It seems inevitable and sad and like a nullification of all my efforts to improve my life...to fall to my knees and admit defeat.

some people ctb because of rational logical thinking imo not just out of desperation. some one here who ctb and efil blaise who ctb on youtube one of their main reasons was that the odds are something horrible can happen to anyone any day and I agree with that. Why prolong it if every human is going to die anyway. Also that the bad things are worse than the good things are good . imo they were rational choices to ctb . both were young healthy . Efil was 25 before the pro-lifers try to say he was under age. the other in 20's also .

imo nothing matters . every human is going to die anyway . in 130 years it will be like all 8 billiion humans alive now never existed.

 

[Ambivalent1]

some people ctb because of rational logical thinking imo not just out of desperation. some one here who ctb and efil blaise who ctb on youtube one of their main reasons was that the odds are something horrible can happen to anyone any day and I agree with that. Why prolong it if every human is going to die anyway. Also that the bad things are worse than the good things are good . imo they were rational choices to ctb . both were young healthy . Efil was 25 before the pro-lifers try to say he was under age. the other in 20's also .

imo nothing matters . every human is going to die anyway . in 130 years it will be like all 8 billiion humans alive now never existed.

That's interesting. In 2153, everyone now alive will be dead and the people alive then will have no concept of us. Feels weird