Is anyone else trying to kill themselves because they're not smart?

[biboty]

I think if I were smart enough I wouldn't have stopped living my life and I would still have friends.

 

[Hollowman]

Yeah that's one of my main reasons.

 

[happy2die]

yes 200% are you also Asian? I've had undiagnosed ADHD and CPTSD and I just realized how much easier everyone else had it especially pertaining to grades. computers are my passion but it basically pushed me over the edge when I couldn't do well in my core class while everyone else was easily doing it. even the ones that were "dumber" than me.

 

[biboty]

yes 200% are you also Asian? I've had undiagnosed ADHD and CPTSD and I just realized how much easier everyone else had it especially pertaining to grades. computers are my passion but it basically pushed me over the edge when I couldn't do well in my core class while everyone else was easily doing it. even the ones that were "dumber" than me.

No, I'm Brazilian, unfortunately my IQ is so low that I can't hold a conversation with someone without embarrassing myself.

 

[itsgone2]

Yeah. It's the consequences of years of stupid decisions. It's a shame. Most people consider me to be smart. I have my moments and all but my goodness the stupidity in my decision making process has basically doomed me. And it sucks because all is so clear now. Hindsight being 20/20 and all but when it's a matter of your life it's horrifying.

 

[Broken@25]

At least im not stupid enough to suffer my whole natural life, on this Godforsaken cesspit. But if you have it in you to fight even if its miniscule please do.

 

[liza]

Same . I don't have a job tbh I don't think I would be good at any job and they would point that out to my parents and complain and kick me out at the same time I just wanna die

 

[Waylander]

yes 200% are you also Asian? I've had undiagnosed ADHD and CPTSD and I just realized how much easier everyone else had it especially pertaining to grades. computers are my passion but it basically pushed me over the edge when I couldn't do well in my core class while everyone else was easily doing it. even the ones that were "dumber" than me.

Not Asian but that is literally the situation I am in. I am a CS major, I've always had passion for it but I am struggling so much even though I understand the material or I feel capable of getting to the level of understanding it I keep f*cking things up and I cannot handle it at all. Also suspect ADHD, the profile very much fits my struggles (including chronic people pleasing and RSD which seems to be the cause of my suicidal tendencies...i just can't handle failing) but no psychiatrist believes me because apparently I am too smart for any disorder.

So that leaves me with I am too smart for a disorder but not smart enough to pass uni and since my whole identity is shaped around my success I really have nothing to live for.

Idk what went wrong tbh, I have no trauma and my parents weren't strict at all. I was like this ever since I can remember.

 

[indianachrome]

If you met me you would think I'm really smart. Everyone always says that. It's like I trick them haha. In reality I'm not very bright and struggle in school. Plus my mind doesn't perceive risk too well and I just dive into risky shit all the time that ruins my life. That's pretty much why I want to CTB. Plus I use extreme sarcasm as a defense mechanism.

 

[happy2die]

Not Asian but that is literally the situation I am in. I am a CS major, I've always had passion for it but I am struggling so much even though I understand the material or I feel capable of getting to the level of understanding it I keep f*cking things up and I cannot handle it at all. Also suspect ADHD, the profile very much fits my struggles (including chronic people pleasing and RSD which seems to be the cause of my suicidal tendencies...i just can't handle failing) but no psychiatrist believes me because apparently I am too smart for any disorder.

So that leaves me with I am too smart for a disorder but not smart enough to pass uni and since my whole identity is shaped around my success I really have nothing to live for.

Idk what went wrong tbh, I have no trauma and my parents weren't strict at all. I was like this ever since I can remember.

nice I'm a compE major. Def in the same boat w the ADHD because they think it's very mild bc of how well I did in hs. however I cannot keep my grades up in college at all and it's driving me insane. thank god I only have to deal with this for a few more days

 

[bloodmania]

it is my main reason, i've been failing community college as a cybersecurity major and i've told my parents that i want to do a trade but they say i need to go to college no matter what, and that i'm just not trying hard enough in school. no matter how hard i try i am just too stupid, i fail all my tests and even if i turn in my assignments then i still get bad grades on them

 

[Seneca65AD]

Respectfully, it does not seem like you want to CTB because you are not "smart". It seems as if you want to CTB because of failure in pursuing your academic dreams. As an old guy who failed numerous times, I can understand your desire to check out. However, have you explored your learning style? There are different types such as visual, auditory, kinesthetic, social, etc. I have come across "dumb" people but they are also "ignorant" of their lack of intelligence - think of the Dunning-Kruger effect. The 2nd part to DK that is often overlooked is people who are quite competent in certain areas feel less adequate because they are smart enough to be aware of their short-comings. This seems to be a fancy way of saying that if you are worried you are dumb, then by definition you are probalby not.

Now, regretting past failures and decisions are completely natural, but those are not tied to intelligence. Decisions and choices tends to be tied to lack of experience which leads to bad decisions. The bad decisions lead to experience when then leads to good decisions. I understand this seems hokey but it managed to keep my from offing myself due to academic failures.

And poor grades simply means that your answers do not align with what the professor expects. I bet if you found something you were passionate about your ability to retain and regurgitate information would improve. BTW, the ability to retain and regurgitate is no longer considered the bench mark for intelligence.

Look, I'm all for CTB ....... except when it comes to failure.....because after 60 years on this earth, I found that those who fail the most usually end up the most succesful. I've said in previous posts that success can be obtained simply by showing up and not quitting. But then again, I'm an old guy posting on a suicide discussion board - by definition, I could be considered a failure.