CrazyDiamond04

CrazyDiamond04

Metal Fan- Wants to hang Under The Oak
May 8, 2023
469
I recently saw some pictures from people who self harm and was horrified by it. There was one person in particular, coldnessinmyheart, that was the most horrific. It looked like she was literally butchering herself, like something out of a horror movie. I'm not doing this to hate on anyone who self harms, I just personally don't understand it, especially the more extreme versions.
 
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SentimentalTrip

SentimentalTrip

Member
Mar 30, 2023
46
I agree completely. Just the sight of blood unnerves me. I don't judge those who self-harm because we all have ways in which we cope, but I've never understood really understood it. I have been depressed for many, many years and I've never once thought of cutting myself.
 
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Already Gone6

Already Gone6

Member
Jul 31, 2023
77
Yeah I never liked self harm. I exercise a lot, it'd be hard to do pushups with a mutilated arm I think.
My sister was into self harm when she was younger. She had a hard time in her younger years, she's a mom now and doing pretty well but she occasionally wears shorts and you can see several scars on her legs where she used to cut and they are the size of pencils each one.
 
CrazyDiamond04

CrazyDiamond04

Metal Fan- Wants to hang Under The Oak
May 8, 2023
469
Yeah I never liked self harm. I exercise a lot, it'd be hard to do pushups with a mutilated arm I think.
My sister was into self harm when she was younger. She had a hard time in her younger years, she's a mom now and doing pretty well but she occasionally wears shorts and you can see several scars on her legs where she used to cut and they are the size of pencils each one.
Yeah, it's just horrible. The idea that someone would subject themselves to it. For a lot of these people, I'm not even sure how they're alive given their injuries.
 
Already Gone6

Already Gone6

Member
Jul 31, 2023
77
Yeah, it's just horrible. The idea that someone would subject themselves to it. For a lot of these people, I'm not even sure how they're alive given their injuries.
You'd be surprised what a person can go through and still survive. It's fucked up. That's why suicide is so hard I think. Our little human vessels were meant to be able to endure massive amounts of bullshit.
 
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StellaSomnus

StellaSomnus

Dormies sicut stellae luceant
Aug 18, 2023
76
I don't like seeing others cut, even though I cut myself. I'm mainly terrified of cuts that are too deep or excessive.

Just 3 weeks ago, I hated myself so much on the day I failed my driving test that I made over 200 cuts on my body that it even terrifies myself seeing the horrors I've done.

I hate myself enough that I gain pleasure from the pain inflicted by myself. It's unfortunate how it's effective at diverting the mental/emotional pain.
 
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nolifezzz

nolifezzz

stuck somewhere between hell and earth
Mar 26, 2020
39
yeah....the bad ones- i know exactly what kind you're talking about horrifies me, im a big scaredy cat, blood runs cold whenever i see gore. browsing this site with all images hidden actually lol i dont really like pain either, hate it actually, im quite a sensitive person. thats why i do it only when im on my worst. my motive is more on the self loathing 'i deserve this' & doing it to try to distract myself from my mental/emotional pain & crisis kinda side. deep cuts also scare me lol i only do light ones. hell im shaking & feel terrified whenever i start too but after i got through with that sometimes after that warm, tingling feeling of pain felt nice, comforting, the only one that'll stuck around with me. also felt validating for someone who got told a lot my pain isnt real/isnt that bad. and unlike my mental anguish i can somewhat control the pain this one gives me!
 
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backtoearth

backtoearth

<3
Sep 9, 2023
115
I think it's one of those things that you can only truly understand if you get to that headspace (not to sound dismissive), when I started cutting I was so so scared of some of the images I would see online and was in the same position as you. However, as time goes on you can gradually get deeper and deeper - until nothing truly satisfies the urge. You have never caused enough harm; I have past friends that accidentally nicked veins, cut tendons, and caused nerve damage but it still wasn't enough for them. You get to a point where SI doesn't really stop you anymore because you know you'll survive it and are used to the process. I luckily have never got to such a severe place but (and I know it's fucked up) I envy those who can cause more extreme harm than I can manage - I am on the way to being one of those people
 
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vault

vault

Member
Aug 24, 2023
28
sh is definitely not for everyone, but for me im not especially sensitive to gore so the blood doesnt bother me. i'd say i cut to vent my frustrations and to feel the pain. it helps me calm down when im overwhelmed/ frustrated
 
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fwompie

fwompie

pit rat
Aug 9, 2023
235
For me it became an addiction. Everybody starts out small but when you do it frequently you become desensitized, you'll want more and more...
 
brownbear

brownbear

Member
Aug 27, 2023
36
I remeber coldnessinmyheart and other users whos self harm was very extreme. I personally self harm myself. after a while you get desensitized and the shock value just isnt there anymore. The urge to self harm deeper and more extreme is bigger the more desensitized you get. There are studies that literally show the change of brainwaves of people who self harm.
Its never worth it and i wish these photos would still shock me.
 
Anonymoususer1234

Anonymoususer1234

Experienced
Apr 13, 2023
211
I recently saw some pictures from people who self harm and was horrified by it. There was one person in particular, coldnessinmyheart, that was the most horrific. It looked like she was literally butchering herself, like something out of a horror movie. I'm not doing this to hate on anyone who self harms, I just personally don't understand it, especially the more extreme versions.
Maybe I can offer some perspective here. It doesn't start out like that usually. It starts small.

For my it started out as scratching myself just a little (using just one fingernail) in moments of frustration.

It gave me relief so I kept doing it. The pain helped to distract me. It made my thoughts quiet for once.

But then scratching stopped being enough so I started cutting. And that gave me relief. But eventually I had to switch to deeper, more severe, cutting to get the same feeling.

That's why people "butcher themselves" it's an escalation of an coping mechanism. We keep hurting ourselves more and more intensely because we become desensitized to the "lighter" forms of self harm which used to help us. If that makes sense.
 
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aonaran

aonaran

New Member
Nov 18, 2023
4
I don't really think that way. I personally don't like the words 'blood' and 'veins' and can't stand anything touching my wrists too tightly. I used to purposely cut and burn my legs when I was younger (around 6-8) whenever someone really made me angry or whenever I felt depressed. It was kind of this dull feeling. There was pain, but after a split second there was nothing. That's me though. My ex bff used to enjoy shock sites and would send me that stuff a lot, so I became desensitized slowly as well.
 
EvisceratedJester

EvisceratedJester

|| What Else Could I Be But a Jester ||
Oct 21, 2023
2,787
A lot of people use self-harm as a way to cope with their emotions. When you are in pain your body releases endorphins that make you feel good. It is not uncommon to become desensitized over time and to start craving more pain, since more pain means more endorphines. This can lead to people harming themselves in ways that can be pretty disturbing, especially to those who aren't self-harmers.

I usually don't find pictures of extreme self-harm too disturbing since I'm a bit desensitized to gore which is funny since I accidently gave myself a bean cut today, while self-harming, and it freaked me out, lol. It wasn't even that big too, just a bit of fat popping out.
 
NeedAnEscape

NeedAnEscape

awaiting the end
Oct 16, 2023
250
Self-harm was my coping mechanism for a long time, until it was wrenched away from me. I have found no better way to cope, and so, I regularly experience urges. While I am not desensitized to seeing others cutting, I do understand the place of pain that they experience. Self-harm comes in many forms, and the most brutal ways are more widespread online. The more you cut, the easier it becomes to mutilate yourself in more extreme ways. It's a brutal world out there.
 
B

bigfishlittlefish

Student
Dec 21, 2021
148
Maybe I can offer some perspective here. It doesn't start out like that usually. It starts small.

For my it started out as scratching myself just a little (using just one fingernail) in moments of frustration.

It gave me relief so I kept doing it. The pain helped to distract me. It made my thoughts quiet for once.

But then scratching stopped being enough so I started cutting. And that gave me relief. But eventually I had to switch to deeper, more severe, cutting to get the same feeling.

That's why people "butcher themselves" it's an escalation of an coping mechanism. We keep hurting ourselves more and more intensely because we become desensitized to the "lighter" forms of self harm which used to help us. If that makes sense.
Yes, this. also it kind of helpshelps having some externalisation of the otherwise invisible pain you're experiencing.
 
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Viranamari

Viranamari

A Future Corpse
Feb 22, 2023
293
Personally, I don't see it as that bad. Perhaps that's just because I cut myself. I have somewhat deep scars all over both my left and right forearms and hiding them from others is very difficult. I have to wear long sleeves even though I live in a very warm country. There are, of course, other ways to self- harm such as starving yourself for a day, overdosing yourself etc. But I personally prefer cutting myself as there's a physical reminder of my hatred for myself and life in general. I do it as a way to cope with my emotions not because I enjoy it or anything.
I can definitely understand why you might be horrified by the idea as the pain and the gore isn't everyone's thing. Different people do different things to cope.
 
Fimbulvetr

Fimbulvetr

Member
Nov 7, 2023
79
sh is definitely not for everyone, but for me im not especially sensitive to gore so the blood doesnt bother me. i'd say i cut to vent my frustrations and to feel the pain. it helps me calm down when im overwhelmed/ frustrated
Yeah, it used to be a grounding mechanism for me. If I was too overwhelmed... well, "bloodletting" would help me quite a bit.
I've been trying to find better techniques but none have come close enough so far. : ( Maybe soon...
 
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F

Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
8,783
I do understand the drive to do it but I'm massively squemish, so, I wouldn't be able to do it to myself and would feel similar if I witnessed it on others.
 
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HybridMindset

HybridMindset

floating
Nov 22, 2023
6
I recently saw some pictures from people who self harm and was horrified by it. There was one person in particular, coldnessinmyheart, that was the most horrific. It looked like she was literally butchering herself, like something out of a horror movie. I'm not doing this to hate on anyone who self harms, I just personally don't understand it, especially the more extreme versions.
yeah, the extreme cases in particular are the ones i don't get, but...
idk, sometimes i just felt the need to punish myself for not being enough and now i'll never get to wear short sleeves again
it's weird because when i'm more mentally together (?) i lowkey hate what i did to myself, but there's still like a faint hint of excitement almost

idk, i hate sh, but it was also at times the only relief i could get
now i do hhc :)
 
tiger b

tiger b

AI without the I
Oct 24, 2023
1,236
I first heard of it from a gentleman once in a band called Richey Edwards, being a fan I tried to understand it. As I've gone through life, I can understand it more and more. I couldn't do it myself (well, not physically), but I understand why someone might (or might not) consider it healthy for them to do it. I don't presume everyone has the same reasons for doing it. I've watched someone do it to a small extent, and found it difficult. I guess I'm not really into blood and guts anyway and hate most horror movies etc.
 
SleepySept

SleepySept

Member
Nov 7, 2023
61
I am. I do cut occasionally. I'm not sure why I'm able to handle shots and injuries, I've even self pierced my ears four times with a needle, but seeing blood makes me want to faint instantly. There's also the empathy seeing injuries on others, even if it wouldn't bother me on myself.
 
Actovania

Actovania

the same
Mar 30, 2023
50
I understand why people do it and how it works since I've met people who do it before, and I have done it a few times before but its really scary to me. It's something you only do when you're in a panic or so overwhelmed you can't process things. It is scary that so many people come to these points so often.
 
Arachno

Arachno

oh no :(
Apr 10, 2023
237
Not horrified of it but I just can't understand how is anyone even capable of finding comfort in it or use it as a coping mechanism, the pain must be unbearable. I think about harming and mutilating myself quite a lot but I don't I could ever do it in reality.
 
M

melodrama

Member
May 7, 2022
47
Yes, I am extremely horrified by self harm, but strangely there's a part of me that really wants to start doing it. Hopefully I will never do.
 
CuriosityAndCat

CuriosityAndCat

Nothing is true. Everything is permitted.
Nov 2, 2023
311
I don't like seeing others cut, even though I cut myself. I'm mainly terrified of cuts that are too deep or excessive.

Just 3 weeks ago, I hated myself so much on the day I failed my driving test that I made over 200 cuts on my body that it even terrifies myself seeing the horrors I've done.

I hate myself enough that I gain pleasure from the pain inflicted by myself. It's unfortunate how it's effective at diverting the mental/emotional pain.
That makes sense. I was going to say I don't understand, but that made sense to me. I space out with anime/TV shows to numb mental and emotional pain.
 
bubo

bubo

Member
Jul 14, 2022
99
Self harm is a hard topic to touch on, because it's usually a very sensitive subject matter, so if you put things too bluntly or flowery you may be scolded. However, self harm is an addiction for most, and that must be put bluntly or it will not get across correctly. It's a bit of a weird thing to hear for many because when they think of "self harm" they see a person crying while cutting themselves with a knife, however, people do not sob their eyes out every time they smoke a cigarette, so self harm really shouldn't be seen in a different light than that. In self harm, you do it but enough is never enough so it will always get worst and worst over time as it goes on. I have cut myself for a long time, but since my self injury has always been nothing but encouraged I went from small cuts to cutting my arteries and trying to amputate my fingers. It's not a condition that can be left untreated because it will always become worst and worst. Most people who "butcher" themselves are usually 80% or so-ish have been self harming since they were kids or an early teenager. Even what seems like a "deep" injury, or very "scary" injury to others will usually not even be seen as a means for concern to the person who causes it to themselves.
 
ElectronicPoet

ElectronicPoet

Member
Aug 22, 2023
28
I recently saw some pictures from people who self harm and was horrified by it. There was one person in particular, coldnessinmyheart, that was the most horrific. It looked like she was literally butchering herself, like something out of a horror movie. I'm not doing this to hate on anyone who self harms, I just personally don't understand it, especially the more extreme versions.
This is totally normal! It's more healthy to be disturbed by it than to not be. Coming from someone who's grown somewhat desensitized to gore (not a flex and I'm not trying to be edgy, I promise), I still feel a little sick when I watch people hit styro. It actually makes me feel like a wuss when I see other peoples cuts because I've never been more than a shallow and long cutter. I don't go deep and I'm very nervous every time I cut at all even if I enjoy it. Self harm is very competitive but I'll never be able to cut the way some other people do. I have very little desire to mutilate myself. I find that not deep, longer cuts are just fine for me even if I feel a little less "cool" than others. But babbling aside, it's actually good that you're disturbed by self mutilation and I hope it stays that way for you!
 
TheSpookyNameGuy

TheSpookyNameGuy

There's nothing here..
Apr 30, 2023
646
I um kinda dig it, messy sliced arms are really nice atleast i like em. Not sexually mind you, intimacy like that repulses me to be honest.

I feel a connection to the person in some small way, a mutual experience of pain i guess.
 
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