Is anyone else dissociating?

[OopsIdidntwanttodie]

I can't feel anything around me. It's been like this since the beginning of highschool for me. I am in college now. It's like i'm living life through a VR headset with bad frame rate. Does anyone else feel this way too? Is there a way to "snap" out of it? It makes living even more difficult and I already know its the brain's coping mechanism for stress. It's unbearable. Please help, it has been getting worse.
I also feel like this is my brain preparing for CTB. What are your thoughts on this?

 

[antigone_iris]

I, too, started feeling like this in high school. For me, engaging in activities that require me to be focused works quite well to bring me back into my body, to say so. Doing DIY projects, cooking, playing an instrument, fixing stuff are a few ideas.

 

[http-410]

Yes, I live 24/7 in a permanent state of depersonalization/derealization and it's horrible.

Is it constant for you, too? Was there a trigger? You don't have to tell. But if you know it, you can try to work with it.

Have you tried grounding techniques? These techniques seem to help some, but unfortunately not me. For example, I can do sports and still feel like a robot. Maybe it could work for you.

It wouldn't surprise me if the dissociation becomes stronger the more you deal with ctb due to intense stress.

 

[NA90]

I am! I'm afraid of people, I feel everyone is looking at me. Home is where I feel safe, specially at night. Can't stand day time.

 

[Brokensaddle]

Happens to me everyday I use to cope with crap I face at home. I used to do in high school and university. The only place I don't dissociate in my local park.

 

[lonelymountaingirl]

I slipped into some derealization the other day and it may have been due to lack of sleep but I was aware of it, which is usual, or so I read, and it was like I was watching myself on tv though still in the first person.

I wonder if it'll be a new thing for me.

 

[naaras]

I love dissociating so much

 

[OopsIdidntwanttodie]

Yes, I live 24/7 in a permanent state of depersonalization/derealization and it's horrible.

Is it constant for you, too? Was there a trigger? You don't have to tell. But if you know it, you can try to work with it.

Have you tried grounding techniques? These techniques seem to help some, but unfortunately not me. For example, I can do sports and still feel like a robot. Maybe it could work for you.

It wouldn't surprise me if the dissociation becomes stronger the more you deal with ctb due to intense stress.

Hi, yes it's constant for me. I tried grounding techniques but I feel like my brain is already too far disconnected from reality. I forgot what it's like to not feel this way, so I actually don't know if i'd be able to tell :/ and you're right, the stress of preparing to CTB may be making me dissociate more. Thank you for your input :)

 

[NA90]

When I'm gone my family will not say i don't know why she's gone. I gave all the signals for years, dissociation when I used to be a party girl. Barely eat, barely leave my room. Sometimes at 6pm I'm already in bed. They feel powerless we tried everything. The next path was elétrica brain shocks that I refused. They know deep inside that I'm dying each day slowly. It won't be a surprise when I'm gone to them. Just hope they realise all my final wishes that I will leave in writing.

 

[OopsIdidntwanttodie]

When I'm gone my family will not say i don't know why she's gone. I gave all the signals for years, dissociation when I used to be a party girl. Barely eat, barely leave my room. Sometimes at 6pm I'm already in bed. They feel powerless we tried everything. The next path was elétrica brain shocks that I refused. They know deep inside that I'm dying each day slowly. It won't be a surprise when I'm gone to them. Just hope they realise all my final wishes that I will leave in writing.

I'm sorry that your family can't understand the pain you're going through. Have you already sat down with them and tried to make them understand instead of just giving them signals? Why not give them your letter now and see what difference it will make?

 

[NA90]

I'm sorry that your family can't understand the pain you're going through. Have you already sat down with them and tried to make them understand instead of just giving them signals? Why not give them your letter now and see what difference it will make?

Yeah we sat down already months ago. They know, they barely mention it but they know deep inside. No one will ever can call me a loser, I fought this so hard, thousand of euros spent on therapy and medication for anything. The next step like I mention was mental electric shocks, no thanks. I'm done. I take some benzos sometimes just to take of the edge. But I know I'm done. Every time I go to bed I pray not to wake up. God def doesn't exist. If he allows all this suffering. But thanks for asking.

 

[Brokensaddle]

When I'm gone my family will not say i don't know why she's gone. I gave all the signals for years, dissociation when I used to be a party girl. Barely eat, barely leave my room. Sometimes at 6pm I'm already in bed. They feel powerless we tried everything. The next path was elétrica brain shocks that I refused. They know deep inside that I'm dying each day slowly. It won't be a surprise when I'm gone to them. Just hope they realise all my final wishes that I will leave in writing.

Why does your family want to give electric brain shocks, that's sounds painful and unnecessary. Why don't they help find you a therapist or councillor?

 

[NA90]

Why does your family want to give electric brain shocks, that's sounds painful and unnecessary. Why don't they help find you a therapist or councillor?

I've had all of that, countless doctors, medications, been in a ward for depressed people. No more medicine can do for me I'm afraid. And they respect my decision not to take eletric shocks. There's no more therapy to do and no more psychiatrists to see. My dad spend thousand of euros and I did my best to get better. But this dark cloud is always above me and doesn't wanna let me leave so I'll end this cloud soon! My way!

 

[http-410]

Hi, yes it's constant for me. I tried grounding techniques but I feel like my brain is already too far disconnected from reality. I forgot what it's like to not feel this way, so I actually don't know if i'd be able to tell :/ and you're right, the stress of preparing to CTB may be making me dissociate more. Thank you for your input :)

I'm afraid I can't give advice, but as you can see, you're definitely not alone with his. There is some evidence that some drugs or therapies can help with dissociation/dp/dr, like opioid antagonists or TMS. However, I'm not sure if it wouldn't make more sense to get to the bottom of the cause.

 

[RottenDeer]

I occasionally dissociate. Around two years ago, it was the worst. I wasn't able to speak for several minutes at times, completely away from reality.

 

[Viceroy]

I can't feel anything around me. It's been like this since the beginning of highschool for me. I am in college now. It's like i'm living life through a VR headset with bad frame rate. Does anyone else feel this way too? Is there a way to "snap" out of it? It makes living even more difficult and I already know its the brain's coping mechanism for stress. It's unbearable. Please help, it has been getting worse.
I also feel like this is my brain preparing for CTB. What are your thoughts on this?

Ur disassociation cause reality is too painful. I haven't been alive for years. I've been doing this for so long I might as well be already dead. I used to have a high level of it back when my problems began around 2011-2013 but in the last few years its just been a mild, quite 'im not really here' type diss. More like a permanent procrastination from life.

 

[specklenought]

I dissociate usually in response to triggers/questions i dont like. But lately, I've been in a constant state of derealisation for the last 3 months or so. It really freaked me out but I think it was because I had decided to die. I got an MRI and everything because I was like what if this is something else? I'd never experienced it 24/7 like I do now. I was speaking to a friend who experinces due to stress and he told me its actually your pupils dilating slightly more than usual which causes the far away/screen like effect you experience. I thought that was pretty neat.

Also reading books like The Body Keeps a Score and The Body Says No were really helpful for me.

 

[LastFlowers]

Yes, I have to dissociate to a high degree just to get through most of the day. And I only manage to do that much if I am isolated from other people. It takes a lot of energy to separate, in my mind, from my body. But it takes even more energy not to.

 

[OopsIdidntwanttodie]

Thanks for all the replies everyone! There was something else I was wondering...for those of you that suffer from ptsd/trauma and dissociation, do you feel suddenly dizzy when something triggers you? Idk how to explain it but it feels like TV static in my head, like my brain doesn't want me to think about it or understand what's happening. At first I thought it was vertigo but i'm not so sure anymore :/ pretty sure it's linked to my trauma.

I dissociate usually in response to triggers/questions i dont like. But lately, I've been in a constant state of derealisation for the last 3 months or so. It really freaked me out but I think it was because I had decided to die. I got an MRI and everything because I was like what if this is something else? I'd never experienced it 24/7 like I do now. I was speaking to a friend who experinces due to stress and he told me its actually your pupils dilating slightly more than usual which causes the far away/screen like effect you experience. I thought that was pretty neat.

Also reading books like The Body Keeps a Score and The Body Says No were really helpful for me.

Wow what your friend said is really interesting, I would've never known. Also I wonder, did you see anything in the MRI?
Thanks for the reading suggestions:)

 

[voyager]

Yes, got it as well with the onset of depression/anxiety at 16. Was so bad at first that I wondered if the world was even real. I didn't actually believe that but everything felt so fake all of a sudden. Some say it's caused by trauma, but I wasn't. Now I see it more as my brain adjusting to the shift in personality/perspective from a healthy person to this. It never really went away, I just got used to it. My memories feel like someone else's and I'm basically living life numb from inside a fishtank with the real world beyond the glass.

I was speaking to a friend who experinces due to stress and he told me its actually your pupils dilating slightly more than usual which causes the far away/screen like effect you experience.

Can confirm, yes. Can't hold focus on something and have to resharpen all the time. Mentioned it to my doctor but didn't seem like they could do anything about it.

PS: Also had an MRI because of something else, but neither my eye nerve was damaged nor anything else too obvious.