An old school friend of mine shot himself in the head last week with a shotgun, he did it upstairs in the bedroom while his sister was home, of course she ran up straight away, let's just say I don't think it's something she will ever get over, there was nothing left of him, well, of his head.... so to answer your question it would depend on the state of your body really, but then again to find a loved one that even died of natural causes would be a hard thing also. In terms of disappearing into the wilderness, me personally, I feel it would never give loved ones closure if they never knew what happened to you, does that make sense? But I don't know your family situation etc, but personally I wouldn't like to just disappear with no closure for my own family. Sorry my answers all over the place I'm not good at putting words together sometimes!!!