ggetout33
Just stuck here.
- Mar 3, 2023
- 177
I am autistic, ADHD, and diagnosed with severe depression.
My personal stance is that mental illnesses do exist, and should be taken seriously. However I'm slowly becoming increasingly skeptical of the effectiveness of the drugs that are prescribed to treat said illnesses. In my personal experience, meds, whether they treat the intended illness or not, often come with serious side effects that are just as problematic as the illness I intended to have treated. To the point where the medication becomes not worth taking.
And when these side effects are brought up (which I often do), I am either prescribed a different medication that causes similar side effects (that also make me get off that drug) or in a few cases I'm prescribed a different drug in hopes of countering the other's side effects. But ultimately nowhere near being "normal". In terms of treating my mental health, this has been the case for roughly 4 years at this point.
In recent times, I've been on a combination of Adderall and Bupropion, to treat ADD and Depression respectively. I do feel more focused and calm while on them, but they totally kill my boners. I basically cannot get it up to save my life despite being 22 and trying to get in shape. I brought it up with my doctor and we discussed the possibility of trying Viagra in hopes of countering the ED I get from my ADD meds.
The option is available to me, but I'm just so annoyed with psychiatry in general. And I don't see any real end to this cycle. I'm annoyed because I (and many others I imagine) are promised to have my mental ailments treated so that I can be normal, and have my fucked-up brain under control. But I try drug after drug after drug that ultimately goes nowhere, nothing I want to take long-term because every drug comes with so many bad side effects.
When the truth is, the only real "cure" (or treatment) is either death or to have never been born with said mental illness in the first place.
If I were to ask to take Viagra, I know that more likely than not it would just come with more side effects that probably screw up some other part of my body, or more likely counteract the ADD meds themselves and render them pointless. I just can't win because my body's "natural function" is dysfunctional as fuck. And it fights all the time to stay dysfunctional, no matter how I feel. I'm an atheist but I think that if there is a God, he would want me to suffer because that would mean he intentionally gave me these bad genes and afflicted me with these mental disorders I struggle with daily. When he could've made me neurotypical and perfectly genetically healthy.
I just don't see a point in trying, I never feel enough and this industry probably took hundreds if not thousands out of me yet I'm still ADD, I'm still autistic, still depressed, and no hope of ever being the same level as a NT. I feel like I should CTB since my brain wants to be this way.
I tried looking online for alternative treatments, nothing but cope for misdiagnosed people (just eat a supplement and meditate bro). Try going on Reddit, the basement dwellers all say to do cocaine.
My personal stance is that mental illnesses do exist, and should be taken seriously. However I'm slowly becoming increasingly skeptical of the effectiveness of the drugs that are prescribed to treat said illnesses. In my personal experience, meds, whether they treat the intended illness or not, often come with serious side effects that are just as problematic as the illness I intended to have treated. To the point where the medication becomes not worth taking.
And when these side effects are brought up (which I often do), I am either prescribed a different medication that causes similar side effects (that also make me get off that drug) or in a few cases I'm prescribed a different drug in hopes of countering the other's side effects. But ultimately nowhere near being "normal". In terms of treating my mental health, this has been the case for roughly 4 years at this point.
In recent times, I've been on a combination of Adderall and Bupropion, to treat ADD and Depression respectively. I do feel more focused and calm while on them, but they totally kill my boners. I basically cannot get it up to save my life despite being 22 and trying to get in shape. I brought it up with my doctor and we discussed the possibility of trying Viagra in hopes of countering the ED I get from my ADD meds.
The option is available to me, but I'm just so annoyed with psychiatry in general. And I don't see any real end to this cycle. I'm annoyed because I (and many others I imagine) are promised to have my mental ailments treated so that I can be normal, and have my fucked-up brain under control. But I try drug after drug after drug that ultimately goes nowhere, nothing I want to take long-term because every drug comes with so many bad side effects.
When the truth is, the only real "cure" (or treatment) is either death or to have never been born with said mental illness in the first place.
If I were to ask to take Viagra, I know that more likely than not it would just come with more side effects that probably screw up some other part of my body, or more likely counteract the ADD meds themselves and render them pointless. I just can't win because my body's "natural function" is dysfunctional as fuck. And it fights all the time to stay dysfunctional, no matter how I feel. I'm an atheist but I think that if there is a God, he would want me to suffer because that would mean he intentionally gave me these bad genes and afflicted me with these mental disorders I struggle with daily. When he could've made me neurotypical and perfectly genetically healthy.
I just don't see a point in trying, I never feel enough and this industry probably took hundreds if not thousands out of me yet I'm still ADD, I'm still autistic, still depressed, and no hope of ever being the same level as a NT. I feel like I should CTB since my brain wants to be this way.
I tried looking online for alternative treatments, nothing but cope for misdiagnosed people (just eat a supplement and meditate bro). Try going on Reddit, the basement dwellers all say to do cocaine.