Is anyone disheartened by how hard it is to CTB?

[BlackBlood6]

I used to have an account here. I wanted to hang myself. I had it all planned. I was moving to a house where there were multiple trees and i'd purchased the rope. RopeS actually, multiple just in case and I was gonna go out at night and just hang myself. Probably the greatest method out there.
But long story short after purchasing the house, there was a death in the family and the house was pretty much lost. Fuckin hell.......

I've been researching overdose, I LOVE the idea of swallowing a bunch of pills and not waking up. But this is proving to be hard too and reading a lot saying OD isn't a reliable method, even though there are a lot of famous people who OD on prescription drugs.

Anyhow... yeah.... even killing yourself is hard.... this world is so shit we can't even exit it peacefully, fuckin aye.

 

[Endoflifecomestoall]

Yes.
I have msa a nasty neurological disease. I have sodium nitrite stashed away for when the time is right but every time I think of it si kicks in

 

[Rhizomorph1]

Drug poisoning suicides are only successful in 1.5% of cases.

There are a few exceptions (SN, N, the cardiac switch combination, and a few others in the peaceful pill handbook).

The vast majority of drugs are not lethal enough, you will vomit up well before it kills you, and often have many uncomfortable or even painful side effects.

Opioids are slightly more reliable than other drugs, but as with the peaceful pill handbook, I don't recommend them for reasons I include in the megathread I wrote: https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/opioid-megathread-overview.138948/#post-2216485

 

[Endoflifecomestoall]

Drug poisoning suicides are only successful in 1.5% of cases.

There are a few exceptions (SN, N, the cardiac switch combination, and a few others in the peaceful pill handbook).

The vast majority of drugs are not lethal enough, you will vomit up well before it kills you, and often have many uncomfortable or even painful side effects.

Opioids are slightly more reliable than other drugs, but as with the peaceful pill handbook, I don't recommend them for reasons I include in the megathread I wrote: https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/opioid-megathread-overview.138948/#post-2216485

It is the percentage of failures that is one of the things putting me off

It is the percentage of failures that is one of the things putting me off

That and si

 

[Rhizomorph1]

It is the percentage of failures that is one of the things putting me off

That and si

The 1.5% statistic is an aggregate statistic that includes all drugs.

SN is far more reliable. 83% in fact. (89% for men; 68% for women). If you follow the SN protocol to a T it is probably higher than this too.

 

[Abyssal]

Kind of. I'm confident, though.

 

[Endoflifecomestoall]

The 1.5% statistic is an aggregate statistic that includes all drugs.

SN is far more reliable. 83% in fact. (89% for men; 68% for women). If you follow the SN protocol to a T it is probably higher than this too.

I have some sn when the time is right. It's coming nearer

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand, I really hate how it's so unnecessarily difficult to cease existing on our own terms. Those who say that it's easy to ctb are either lying or ignorant, it disgusts me how suicide is purposely made so inaccessible, I'm only trapped here because in my case the methods are either inaccessible or risky. I just find it so hellish how this society is so anti-suicide even know we never could have consented to being in this existence. Humans are such a repulsive species with how they wish to prolong the suffering of others no matter what.

 

[Aim]

No, not so that much anymore!

 

[lifelite]

Yeah. I have some experience with the NS method. Not so very easy.
If only there was a pill.. Military spys have those for example. If only I could get my hands on one

Edit* This is what I mean by the military pills

Suicide pill - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

Of course we can't get our hands on those sadly.

 

[hi-okbye]

yes, i've had about 10 attempts prior.
i have finally been able to purchase SN, it's delivering today.
i wish for this to be it finally.

it really hurts when you get your hopes up, you finally feel like your going to be free, but then your not..
good luck, i hope your able to find peace <3

 

[leavingthesoultrap]

It's not easy that's for sure. Even with SN. Those 15-20 mins are not going to be great

 

[アホペンギン]

Yes. As someone with nearly 20 attempts I'm saying this.

 

[BlazingBob]

It's very discouraging.

 

[mia_qwerty]

It's not easy that's for sure. Even with SN. Those 15-20 mins are not going to be great

If that. Some vomit. Meaning they have to go through it again. I'm scared of how uncomfortable/ painful it will be.
Yeah I'm struggling to even get SN let alone the guts to take it. And all other methods I find too hard. If only there was a peaceful pill. That puts you to sleep without pain.

I don't know how people do it at all. And I'm the movies they make it look so easy.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Yeah, I feel massively worried about it. I really resent it that I'm going to have to do something so risky if I want out.

 

[thinvy]

It is disheartening for sure, especially to the younger me who swore at the heavens to just strike me down, because they were too much of a coward to ctb actively. Much more passive harm.

Now I see it as more of an annoyance. I'm annoyed I had to dig for so long. I'm annoyed I have to do all this research and planning. I'm annoyed that there isn't an easier legal way. But I'm always much more annoyed by the prospect of living much longer.

 

[leavingthesoultrap]

If that. Some vomit. Meaning they have to go through it again. I'm scared of how uncomfortable/ painful it will be.
Yeah I'm struggling to even get SN let alone the guts to take it. And all other methods I find too hard. If only there was a peaceful pill. That puts you to sleep without pain.

I don't know how people do it at all. And I'm the movies they make it look so easy.

I dont think it will be painful, I have good pain tolerance thanks to living with endometriosis anyway. But I have no idea what the psychological state will be like. Anyway I want to be as numb as possible, preferably high af.

 

[artax]

Yes, it's very discouraging. I have to stand by on CTB for a while, for private reasons, and after seeing peaceful methods become much more difficult to source over the past few years, I'm afraid that things like SN will become completely unobtainable by the time I'm truly ready to go. I'd rather not use a shotgun or a rope, but other options are swiftly disappearing.

 

[venomousSSërpent74]

Yes especially when the attempts fail or there's a chance it wont work out but thats the risk what matters most is getting out of here.

 

[hermestrimegistus]

Extremely disheartened. Wished there was a surefire method without a fear of being paralyzed or disfigured. I just want to go to sleep and never wake up. I'm tired of being alive. I'd even settle for being in a coma

 

[Endoflifecomestoall]

Given the option of that or neurological paralysis I'd take it too

Yes especially when the attempts fail or there's a chance it wont work out but thats the risk what matters most is getting out of here.

Given the end of msa I have to take the chance, the question is when?

 

[Endoflifecomestoall]

Extremely disheartened. Wished there was a surefire method without a fear of being paralyzed or disfigured. I just want to go to sleep and never wake up. I'm tired of being alive. I'd even settle for being in a coma

I don't believe that sn will not leave brain damage if un successful. It does appear the most peaceful way to go

 

[ouf]

it makes me scared that i won't ever be able to do it and i'll have to keep existing

 

[AllAlone]

I had planned on doing partial hanging. I tried but I just couldn't do it. Like I just couldn't block the arteries or maybe I lack the willpower to push through the pain. Now I have no idea what I am going to do. I still want to die but I have no reliable methods. I guess I could lie under a train or maybe I'll keep trying hanging until I succeed.

 

[Meditation guide]

Really the main thing is speed. People fail when they have some time to panic and seek help, or get found. That's one reason drugs and poison fail more often.