Hello, I am a 19 year old man in the United States. I have severe, severe mental health issues, such as: autism, bipolar, ocd, adhd and have had hardcore drug dependence to drugs such as meth, cocaine and alcohol already. I started using drugs at 13. I wish more then anything I could take it back, I feel I ruined my one shot at life, my one chance and dice roll. I can't get joy out of anything. I'm too mentally gone to even hold a job for one week which I tried 3 times since 16. I have no future plans and am already in the process of getting approved for SSI(disability) at 19!!! I have no friends and wasted my life obsessing over drugs, and stuff that didn't matter too much like physical appearance. I feel like I am too far gone to get anything out of this life. It's like I've read- life can and always will get worse. And I had my breaking point already, I can't see it going anywhere. So based on this, and I ask because I want to know if maybe I'm overreacting, is it reasonable and time to CTB at this point in my shit fuck life
hamvil
Wizard
- Aug 29, 2022
- 652
What do you want people to really tell you? i think at 19yo you still have several opportunities for change still open. Your choice did not yet mark you for life, you can invest in education if you can or a normal job. The fact you ask probably means that you already feel a bit of this yourself.
I am really sorry for your drug problem and I am not really sure which kind of help in available in US for such problems.
I am really sorry for your drug problem and I am not really sure which kind of help in available in US for such problems.
So sorry life has dealt you such a shitty hand, like so many of us. Personal opinion here, there isn't an age on CTB. I've been suicidal since I was younger than you are now and many years later, life has never gotten better for me and I look back wishing everyday I had done it when I was younger. Now that's not saying your life can't get better and I hope it does, it's always your decision, But only you know when time is up, there is no age on that in my eyes. Good luck!
Suicidebydeath
No chances to be happy - dead inside
- Nov 25, 2021
- 3,559
It's not, but sometimes people hit rock bottom and then turn it around. 19 is really young, plenty of people go cold turkey on drugs and come out of that. I know people that broke a heroin habit. You have years and years to work on physical appearance at 19 too, peak age for human body growth is 25. Some people get insane physical results at much older ages. At 19 you have a decent second shot I think. Some people are doing their second run or even first run in their 40s or later. There are people that are like 12 that would kill to be 19 to get out of a hellhole, and there are people that are 29 that would too.
Last edited:
FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 37,139
Only you can decide if ctb is the best thing for yourself but there is no such thing as being too young for ctb. We have no obligations to stay alive as we never asked to be here. It's a personal decision when to leave.
jodes2
Hello people ❤️
- Aug 28, 2022
- 7,737
19 is young enough to get some good help and fix things. Apart from autism, your mental health difficulties can be medicated, and get can get help coming off drugs. You're young enough to make friends, you just have to get out there. It sounds like you're at rock bottom, things can only get better. If they don't after getting help for a few years then you can always CTB as a last resort
jodes2
Hello people ❤️
- Aug 28, 2022
- 7,737
It's definitely not, I think that's your depression talking. Wanting to CTB is understandable when it feels like there's no hope. You just need to do two things, get help and wait a bit
theboy
Illuminated
- Jul 15, 2022
- 3,006
I am 22 and they tell me that I am very young but I know that my soul is very old and broken.
Install-Gentoo
.
- Aug 23, 2022
- 195
It's not too young. If you've logically determined that you know what your future looks like, then that's enough. How much longer do you need to suffer? So what if you live 5 more years of pain and decide "ok, now I've reached an acceptable age to suicide". To other people, no age is an "acceptable" age.
Zegers
Enlightened
- Dec 15, 2021
- 1,761
1, Quit drugs or manage it properly
2. Seek for therapy
3. Try to improve your mindset and outlook in life
If nothing works... its up to you.
2. Seek for therapy
3. Try to improve your mindset and outlook in life
If nothing works... its up to you.
Here's my opinion for what it's worth. Yes, you have some problems. BUT they are able to be dealt with. The first thing I would do is get help for your drug and alcohol issues. If that means going to a short or long term rehab, then so be it. There is also AA that some find to be helpful. And I'm not saying any of this lightly. I have a son in his mid 20's who is an alcoholic and does drugs occasionally. He also has anxiety and depression. He has fought to get out of a pit of despair and is succeeding. He has a family now and a career that he lives. Not to say that it's all perfect for him because it is not. But he works at it everyday and it's made a difference. In dealing with the addiction you might find some new friends an discover interests you never dreamed of. I hope my opinion gave you some insight and I wish you the best. 19 is young. Please give it a chance.
I'm so anxious I can't even go in public most of the time. I have bipolar and undiagnosed autism and ocd. I wish I could go to rehab even, but I'm so anxious I cantHere's my opinion for what it's worth. Yes, you have some problems. BUT they are able to be dealt with. The first thing I would do is get help for your drug and alcohol issues. If that means going to a short or long term rehab, then so be it. There is also AA that some find to be helpful. And I'm not saying any of this lightly. I have a son in his mid 20's who is an alcoholic and does drugs occasionally. He also has anxiety and depression. He has fought to get out of a pit of despair and is succeeding. He has a family now and a career that he lives. Not to say that it's all perfect for him because it is not. But he works at it everyday and it's made a difference. In dealing with the addiction you might find some new friends an discover interests you never dreamed of. I hope my opinion gave you some insight and I wish you the best. 19 is young. Please give it a chance.
That's your decision. I firmly believe it's possible for things to improve for you. I can't guarantee they will, but it's possible. It's really hard to say what will or won't happen at this point in your life. A lot can happen really quickly and throw everything in new directions. I would encourage you to at least pursue living as a back up plan. Dying is hard to do in multiple ways, you're likely to continue existing for awhile regardless of what you choose. Taking steps to make it less awful where you can will generally be helpful regardless. I don't know what that would look like for you, but it can be whatever little actions when you can manage.
Are there people who care about you, family or friends, that you feel more comfortable going out in public with? If not, there may be some ways to find friends who can help, based on common interests or some other way. A young age does give more opportunities that do go away as you get older- over forty or sespecially over fifty a lot of opportunities will go away by then if things are not resolved earlier. But at any adult age a person should be able to say they've been through enough pain. On this website the difficuly subkect of people under 18 is something that we need to leave alone, but a high percentage of these result from extreme bullying, at home or school or both. Are there some things that you enjoy in life?
I like excericsing but other then that nothing I enjoy doing in life
I'm just scared and lost that's all.
Last edited:
I think that beeating the drug and alcohol addictions would be a big step, adn liking exeercising is something taht can help- going to a gym with classes may help. Do you have family members who care, and do you have medical coverage that would cover treatment?
Being honest, it sounds like you're probably 5-6 years behind other people your age in terms of academics and career. And being on SSI, you're always going to struggle for money. I'm not telling you what to do, but look in the mirror, and answer honestly what are the chances of you getting training for an in-demand skill or degree, and making $80k+?
It's 100% not too late to turn your life around, but only you can decide if you are willing to put in the effort or not. One thing you can do is use your diagnoses to secure accommodations in an academic and possibly even professional setting to better your chances of success.
Yes its too young. 19 is actually the age range where you can completely change your life. Do you really have autism? If so autism will definitely make you feel like an alien on this planet and i could see that as a strong CTB indicator, but otherwise no. You definitely have time to change. Im 26, almost 27 and i can say you definitely need to decide now what you want your future to end up as, because once you leave the age range of 18-23, it becomes very difficult to relate to people as most people have had relationships and have a long term partner. Basically the age to meet people and try new groups or cultures is only 18-23 then people become conservative basically and form singular family units or end up alone, not to mention you need a college education. You need to get out there my friend, you still have a chance, try everything you can to beat depression.
Conker
Specialist
- Oct 22, 2019
- 351
What could help make your anxiety manageable is Andy Cutlers chelation protocol, along with Dr. Sebi's teachings.. Everythings connected so look into these sources of información. Elliot Overton and Sally Fallon are two others. You're going to need to be sweating either through saunas or the old route.. r. http://orbisvitae.com/ubbthreads/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=31723
Last edited:
No one needs a college education to make a serious amount of money. Don't perpetuate a system that puts so many people in a lifetime of crushing debt. My brother makes well over $100k having dropped out of hs because he has a CDL. People with a CCNP cert are pulling in about $150k with 5 years of experience. I'm not saying all college degrees are useless or a waste of money, just there are other paths to a good life.
I don't know. You're very young still. I know it's easy for me to say it, but I don't think all is lost yet.
Do you have a counselor? I have one through the BetterHelp app. We actually just talk on the phone. Never have to leave the house. A counselor could guide you in a direction that might be helpful. They can also suggest a psychiatrist who may be able to help with meds if that is something you were interested in. I have some social anxiety but I've learned how to deal with it for the most part. I took baby steps when leaving my house when it was at its worst. Meaning I sat on the porch and then went back inside. Then I just increased my distance a little more each time. Now I'm able to go to the store, run errands, and basically go out like most people do. I still can not stand crowds so I avoid stuff like that. Not going to lie— it was hard. But it's been worth it. Sometimes I would take my phone and talk to someone, anyone, while leaving the house. Just so I wouldn't feel alone. Sometimes when I get anxious while I'm out now, I will call my kids or my husband to just talk. It's how I cope with it I guess. Now that I've rambled on, I guess I'm just trying to say is that you can do it. Don't give up.
homebound
fallen angel
- Jan 19, 2020
- 35
I don't think 19 is too young. I agree with the others who said there is no "age limit" as to when you're too young to CTB. I am 20 and have attempted 3x the first when I was 13. It's a decision for you to make and you alone. I wish you all the luck with deciding what to do.
