Thanks a lot to you too.
don't let the fear isolate u from other queer people, the community can be a lifeline if ur looking for one.
It doesn't isolate me from the community or from the support of other people in it - it mainly prevents me from being fully honest with most people in my life that are not inside the community.
Perhaps I'm quite sure already of the road I have to take - but not necessarily know how to take the first steps towards that path, especially if it involves other people that might not be so welcoming.
I guess it's a difficult topic to share with most people - the last time I had a discussion about gender identity with one of my relatives, they said that "a woman has a vagina and a man has a penis, muh science says so!" and I couldn't help but chuckle at the display of ignorance and simple-mindedness. My close family would be more accepting, not without incessant questioning, tho.
I suppose I'm waiting for a chance to become financially independent, even though I know things wouldn't be that bad - but it's somehow a defense mechanism, I think.
There are tons of supportive people, as this thread shows. I suppose I'm still trying to find a way to put what I feel into accurate words for others to understand - in a few months I'll have an appointment with my endocrinologist (due to other reasons), so I'll try to muster the courage to talk with them about it and see what path I can take before telling everyone in my life how I truly feel.
In the meantime, I suppose I'll treat myself to cute things that affirm my gender identity while not being so obvious about it.
Thanks a lot. I love you all ♥