dreamingofpeace

dreamingofpeace

Member
Oct 6, 2023
18
so i got top surgery last year and DIYing hormones for 5 months and im finally in a place where my body genuinely feels like a home and i keep thinking wow im finally content to ctb. like as if a peaceful death is what my whole life has been leading up to and i just needed to transition before i die. im tired and i dont wanna live in a transphobic world yk. im trying not to die rn id like to live but its just funny to me like yes gender affirming healthcare DOES save lives but if ur gonna carry on being transphobic i am still gonna die about it. maybe. lol
 
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Lynx.

Lynx.

Member
Sep 28, 2022
80
I'm sorry the world is such an awful place.

I'm currently questioning my gender and all notions of myself I had on the past - and I'm pretty sure I'm trans: one of the main reasons I haven't fully come to terms with it is the hostility of the world: I know it's something I'll have to get over some day in order to make a progress towards expressing my true self, but the whole process would be much easier if the possibility of alienation, hatred and abandonment wouldn't be so high, especially by relatives and close ones...

I admire you, and I'm so sorry people are such dickheads about things that do not concern them at all, especially when it comes to the self-expression of lovely people such as yourself.

Many hugs.
 
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puella

puella

she/they
Oct 5, 2023
320
Please don't let that be the reason you die. There are safe places, communities that respect you, and people who understand you. Delete all social media and move to a city where you are appreciated.

I am so, so incredibly proud of you. To be happy in your body is a truly wonderful achievement. You are so strong to have made it to this point.
 
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dreamingofpeace

dreamingofpeace

Member
Oct 6, 2023
18
I'm sorry the world is such an awful place.

I'm currently questioning my gender and all notions of myself I had on the past - and I'm pretty sure I'm trans: one of the main reasons I haven't fully come to terms with it is the hostility of the world: I know it's something I'll have to get over some day in order to make a progress towards expressing my true self, but the whole process would be much easier if the possibility of alienation, hatred and abandonment wouldn't be so high, especially by relatives and close ones...

I admire you, and I'm so sorry people are such dickheads about things that do not concern them at all, especially when it comes to the self-expression of lovely people such as yourself.

Many hugs.
thank u :') I really do think a world for us exists tbh. we will create it if no one else will. part of the reason im staying is cus i wanna fight for us. i got ur back. you deserve to live and u belong here no matter what happens ok. whether u decide to stay or go know there is a place on this earth for u. don't let the fear isolate u from other queer people, the community can be a lifeline if ur looking for one. even if u decide to die a day later allowing urself to exist as u are for even a moment would be worth it. trans joy is real and I hope u give it a chance
 
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Lynx.

Lynx.

Member
Sep 28, 2022
80
Thanks a lot to you too.

don't let the fear isolate u from other queer people, the community can be a lifeline if ur looking for one.
It doesn't isolate me from the community or from the support of other people in it - it mainly prevents me from being fully honest with most people in my life that are not inside the community.

Perhaps I'm quite sure already of the road I have to take - but not necessarily know how to take the first steps towards that path, especially if it involves other people that might not be so welcoming.

I guess it's a difficult topic to share with most people - the last time I had a discussion about gender identity with one of my relatives, they said that "a woman has a vagina and a man has a penis, muh science says so!" and I couldn't help but chuckle at the display of ignorance and simple-mindedness. My close family would be more accepting, not without incessant questioning, tho.

I suppose I'm waiting for a chance to become financially independent, even though I know things wouldn't be that bad - but it's somehow a defense mechanism, I think.

There are tons of supportive people, as this thread shows. I suppose I'm still trying to find a way to put what I feel into accurate words for others to understand - in a few months I'll have an appointment with my endocrinologist (due to other reasons), so I'll try to muster the courage to talk with them about it and see what path I can take before telling everyone in my life how I truly feel.

In the meantime, I suppose I'll treat myself to cute things that affirm my gender identity while not being so obvious about it.

Thanks a lot. I love you all ♥
 
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Kempel556

Kempel556

Luce sicut stellae
Sep 26, 2023
128
Its a shame that we still live in a transphobic society that judges people just because of their genders, im glad to hear that you feel good in your body. We truly live in such a sad and bad world
 
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dreamingofpeace

dreamingofpeace

Member
Oct 6, 2023
18
Thanks a lot to you too.


It doesn't isolate me from the community or from the support of other people in it - it mainly prevents me from being fully honest with most people in my life that are not inside the community.

Perhaps I'm quite sure already of the road I have to take - but not necessarily know how to take the first steps towards that path, especially if it involves other people that might not be so welcoming.

I guess it's a difficult topic to share with most people - the last time I had a discussion about gender identity with one of my relatives, they said that "a woman has a vagina and a man has a penis, muh science says so!" and I couldn't help but chuckle at the display of ignorance and simple-mindedness. My close family would be more accepting, not without incessant questioning, tho.

I suppose I'm waiting for a chance to become financially independent, even though I know things wouldn't be that bad - but it's somehow a defense mechanism, I think.

There are tons of supportive people, as this thread shows. I suppose I'm still trying to find a way to put what I feel into accurate words for others to understand - in a few months I'll have an appointment with my endocrinologist (due to other reasons), so I'll try to muster the courage to talk with them about it and see what path I can take before telling everyone in my life how I truly feel.

In the meantime, I suppose I'll treat myself to cute things that affirm my gender identity while not being so obvious about it.

Thanks a lot. I love you all ♥
ah yeah I get u, it's good to have safety nets. I been stuffing my bra in front of my mum for a year to avoid suspition lol. family shit is never easy. I hope u get independant soon and that everyone u wanna keep in ur life opens their mind. Im so glad ur getting support online tho. take all the time u need <3
 

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