Intrusive Thoughts About Invading Threads

[limenlux]

Does anyone else ever feel as though they're intruding upon certain threads while exploring SaSu, or is this some peculiar insecurity I've spawned in my own mind?

I don't generally engage with topics about which I'm unfamiliar, or with which I can't at least hope to provide some amusement for fellow members, because when I decided to join after an extended period of lurking, I committed myself to engaging the community on absolutely positive terms to the best of my ability.

Sometimes, likely due to neurological damage, I feel as though I wander into a thread, read the posts, forget the posts immediately, reply with only tangentially-related word salads, spill my drink on the carpet, knock over the candles, set the curtains alight, open all the closet doors and cabinets while searching for the exit, dive through the window, ruin the bushes as I land on them, roll into the grass covered in twigs and leaves, and then lie there on my back in the smoke-filled darkness wailing about how I want to CTB.

Can anyone relate to this?

 

[Set Real Goul]

Yeah, I can relate. It was more common at the beginning, though. But it still happens sometimes.
Like, I'll read something, start writing some kind of response, and then realize I've completely gone down some rabbit hole of my own and forgotten what the whole conversation was about in the first place.
For example, yesterday with noname223, when I was reading his thread about sex, I completely lost track of what he had written and what I wanted to respond to several times

 

[softfur]

Sometimes, likely due to neurological damage, I feel as though I wander into a thread, read the posts, forget the posts immediately, reply with only tangentially-related word salads, spill my drink on the carpet, knock over the candles, set the curtains alight, open all the closet doors and cabinets while searching for the exit, dive through the window, ruin the bushes as I land on them, roll into the grass covered in twigs and leaves, and then lie there on my back in the smoke-filled darkness wailing about how I want to CTB.

i really love this paragraph

i think i'm intruding everywhere i've always been a sort of sludge-dripping bog creature. i wince after every thing i post cause i know i'm fuckin up every time

 

[Gild-Holm-’Ur]

Yeah.

I stay out of method / advice threads because I am not knowledgeable and not actively planning CBT.

For the venting / emotional threads - I try to focus on what the author said. When I mention my experiences, I hope it shows empathy and commonality. I do feel like a lot of my thoughts are trite. However, I hope that if I offer a bromide or even something wrong - they will be able to take something from it.

My personal concerns are that I may be too positive when it is unwanted. As Jesus said in the Bible, 'Sometimes you just need to piss in somebodies' cornflakes.' And I do skirt the edge of 'do not discourage,' just because I miss you all when you go.

 

[homunculi]

yep yep yep. the reason why i haven't really posted a lot is because i feel like i'm intruding or that i'm going to say something unwanted and bizarre. i also have a fear that i come across as too positive or upbeat in an effort to not come across as a gigantic asshole. twice now i have taken close to an hour to write responses to posts because i keep revising what i said while checking the OP to make sure i'm not doing something embarrassing. it's almost like i have several unmedicated anxiety disorders or something.....

 

[Gild-Holm-’Ur]

i wince after every thing i post cause i know i'm fuckin up every time

Yeah, I feel my chest clinch a little when I hit send, and then feel a wave of relief when the OP responds or hits like.

Oh, and shout out to DarkSouls for reacting to so many of my posts when I started posting.

 

[limenlux]

Yeah, I feel my chest clinch a little when I hit send, and then feel a wave of relief when the OP responds or hits like.

I am currently entering the "wave of relief" phase.

 

[EternalShore]

am sorry about how many of you feel that way about replying~ :( thankfully, it seems that many of you have lots of posts already, so you do feel somewhat welcomed here presumably~ :)

unfortunately, the latest cycles (basically, the membership tends to be different every 3 months, a full "cycle") have become much more stingy with likes than in the past as far as I can tell~ as such, it can feel a bit less inviting than it used to unfortunately~ :( I wouldn't worry about it very much tho~ That's just how many of the people in this current "cycle" communicate for whatever reason~ plus, the active userbase kinda feels smaller too, which feeds into that issue~ regardless, this is a voluntary online forum, so it should be fun! :) It's best to post things freely, and then, try to get your mind off it as soon as you can~ :) As such, I would just post whatever you wish and not really worry about it unless you think it'll anger someone or break the rules or something~ >~<

*huggies~*

 

[FF777]

there are a few subjects that i won't usually touch too much because i don't know any thing about them.. one is eating disorders.. i don't really understand them.. i'm male and i like food.. most people with ED are females, and i don't know what advice to give them.. it seems kind of tone-deaf for me to tell them like "stop worrying about your weight and enjoy some food; you aren't any where remotely fat".. i'm sure people have told them that already and it hasn't helped, so i usually just avoid commenting in those threads at all..

for most other threads that i bother to read, as i'm reading them i usually naturally start feeling like i have things i want to say to them as i'm reading.. and so i'm kind of gathering up thoughts about their situation as i'm reading, and then after i'm reading it all i start typing out what i want to tell them.. so for me (most of the time) it doesn't feel like i'm intruding, it feels like i need to tell them things, and if i don't type out my yap to them then they aren't going to get my exact advice and point of view from any one else..

some types of threads annoy me.. the short ones that don't really elaborate on any thing.. "i feel like nothing will ever get better and my life sucks and i want to die"........ okay? how am i supposed to help them when they haven't told me any thing about their reasons for depression or any thing about their situation?.. that's cool if it helps them cope better by typing out their feelings, but it doesn't leave much for me to expound on if i'm aiming to give them a helpful response..

but like i said, i don't even really have tons of extra time/energy to respond to tons of people like i was doing last month.. but i still respond to people i kind of know on here (you being one of them).. i still check threads every day though and read a few things and will usually give at least a quick response to some one if their thread seems interesting or catches my attention for some reason..

but enough about me..

as for you, you shouldn't feel hesitant to respond to a thread unless you just really know nothing about the condition they are talking about.. or even then you can still just leave some short quip about hoping that they get better or just what ever you want.. if you notice, a lot of threads don't even get that many responses some times.. so i imagine the thread-starter (OP i guess i should say) probably appreciates any/all of the responses they receive, even if they are short or aren't the best perfect post/advice possible..

here is an other way to think of it: how old do you have to be before you have the courage to speak your mind to random people on the internet?.. you have experience in life that can help some other people.. and also you might be able to provide a unique viewpoint/opinion on their situation that can only come from you.. so if you don't say what you want to say to them, no one else probably will..

any way, don't stress about it too much.. no one on these forums wants other people to be stressing out about responding to them..

your humor is cute too by the way, i like it..
Love and light..

 

[Forever Sleep]

Sometimes. Worse is when I've sometimes responded in irritated, unhelpful ways. I'm trying to be more wary of that now.

I wouldn't worry excessively though. People reading through the threads- even the OP can simply skim read or skip replies they find irritating. Plus- if it's a particular member they find to be triggering- there is the option to put them on 'ignore'.

We all come here with our own baggage. It's not necessarily a personal thing if we don't gel with a member. Chances are, someone else will though so- it feels like we ought to be able to be ourselves and at least one or two people may relate.

I think there is a tolerance to some extent too. We all realise that people here are suffering. It's almost inevitable that sometimes- they will turn everything to become about them once more. It's hard not to be that way when the suffering is so intense.

The fact that you're aware of it all also probably means you are somewhat checking how you are replying so- you probably don't have much to worry about. I would also think- if people were actually taking offense- they would let you know.

Plus- it's a public forum. By putting stuff out here- we simply can't control how it will be responded to. There are bound to sometimes be opions we don't agree with. Responses we find self centered or that miss the point. We may all be guilty of that ourselves. It's just all part of the mix.

 

[Pluto]

 

[infinitanocte]

Plus- it's a public forum. By putting stuff out here- we simply can't control how it will be responded to. There are bound to sometimes be opions we don't agree with. Responses we find self centered or that miss the point. We may all be guilty of that ourselves. It's just all part of the mix.

I agree, we can't really avoid all kinds of responses on a public forum and sometimes we make responses that may be selfish or not really pertinent to the matter. We just say what's on our mind or what we think people need to hear, what we would want to hear or what we think is right or helpful. How something is received depends on the recipient as much as the giver. You never know how people will take what you have to give--they might actually also really welcome what you have to offer!

I will say that I do try to only comment on threads that I resonate with or feel the actual urge to say something. I don't comment too much on threads I feel woefully inept to comment on or fear I'll do more damage than help. That's fine. I yap a lot, but I don't need to say something about everything to everyone, and other people don't need that either, haha. If I really have nothing else to offer, I can still offer my well-wishes, even if they don't sink in. Sometimes, I want to be willing to take a little bit of a risk to be the odd one out if it means someone can feel even the slightest bit relieved or helped or seen. Just depends on my mood. That's okay, humans are whimsical :)

 

[lastappleonearth]

Does anyone else ever feel as though they're intruding upon certain threads while exploring SaSu, or is this some peculiar insecurity I've spawned in my own mind?

I don't generally engage with topics about which I'm unfamiliar, or with which I can't at least hope to provide some amusement for fellow members, because when I decided to join after an extended period of lurking, I committed myself to engaging the community on absolutely positive terms to the best of my ability.

Sometimes, likely due to neurological damage, I feel as though I wander into a thread, read the posts, forget the posts immediately, reply with only tangentially-related word salads, spill my drink on the carpet, knock over the candles, set the curtains alight, open all the closet doors and cabinets while searching for the exit, dive through the window, ruin the bushes as I land on them, roll into the grass covered in twigs and leaves, and then lie there on my back in the smoke-filled darkness wailing about how I want to CTB.

Can anyone relate to this?

I can relate in a way, I also try to positively interact with this site and community. I hope I've never affected anyone negatively on here

 

[DriftingToOblivion]

Does anyone else ever feel as though they're intruding upon certain threads while exploring SaSu, or is this some peculiar insecurity I've spawned in my own mind?

I don't generally engage with topics about which I'm unfamiliar, or with which I can't at least hope to provide some amusement for fellow members, because when I decided to join after an extended period of lurking, I committed myself to engaging the community on absolutely positive terms to the best of my ability.

Sometimes, likely due to neurological damage, I feel as though I wander into a thread, read the posts, forget the posts immediately, reply with only tangentially-related word salads, spill my drink on the carpet, knock over the candles, set the curtains alight, open all the closet doors and cabinets while searching for the exit, dive through the window, ruin the bushes as I land on them, roll into the grass covered in twigs and leaves, and then lie there on my back in the smoke-filled darkness wailing about how I want to CTB.

Can anyone relate to this?

I think so? I've been watching this forum a while before I got the courage to join. Anything I say here is a secret I've told nobody except other forum members. I assume what I read here are private thoughts from others and I feel a little guilty as if I am invading other's privacy.

Regarding expertise, I can't claim to be an expert on anything other than what I think or feel or my own experiences. The topic is unfortunately taboo in society.

By posting here I can't be sure I am helping anyone at all but I think it is helping me because I can share things I've kept bottled up.

But I still don't quite feel I belong here.

 

[Forveleth]

I actually like crashing threads, especially if all the replies look like an echo chamber. It is good to get as many, different perspectives as possible so I like to add my two cents. Although I try not to be just a contrarian.

I am also a huge fan of necroing threads if I find them interesting.

 

[thelostautistic]

Hi there. I deal with a lot of intrusive thoughts too and it can impact the way I engage on here and what I engage with. I never feel like I'm intruding but I worry about how I come across because of my communication style. Tbh I just think I'm annoying everyone here but that's a me problem lol. I love your paragraph about wandering into threads

 

[maggineko]

Yeah, pretty much. My thoughts get muddied while typing out replies so I often have to refer back to the original post multiple times to make sure I'm not going off-tangent. I've been alienated since primary school by peers, so it's just left me feeling unwanted wherever I go. Trying to unlearn this though, and not let it get in the way of connecting with others and trying to be kind. I feel better when someone reacts or replies to me lol

 

[Gild-Holm-’Ur]

One thing I do worry about is my age, being past 50. Suicide seems to be a young person's game. That's why I changed my title to 'Old man' and made my age visible in my profile.

Also, I appreciate Forveleth's providing alternate view points. In the Prime Material Plane, I like to bounce ideas off a friend who does that. Also, thumbs up for resurrecting older threads.

 

[Lost in a Dream]

I might've felt the same way as you when I first joined, but it was so long ago, it's hard to remember. I seem to have the opposite problem that you have after being here so long. I think I've gotten way too comfortable here and sometimes I get too bold or harsh in my replies when someone says something I don't like.

Sometimes I can be an a-hole and make things worse, depending on the situation, and I hate that I do that. When it does happen, I end up apologizing and trying to make things right if I can, but even then, the depression hits me hard when I realize I've messed up. Perhaps if I felt the same way as you, I would be more careful and not run into these kinds of problems. Either way, you're always welcome to post in any threads I make. I actually like you and since we have common interests, you never have to feel like you're intruding.