Introducing myself

[iwanttohugthetrees]

hello,guys

I feel like I need to introduce myself
I have read stories of so many lovely people on here
and so sad to see very lovely people go but I know they found peace now

I am 33, female from Latvia but live in uk

My parents were very abusive,both physically and mentally
I think that what has formed my disfunctioning personality

I also suffer from premenstrual disorder when I am out of order for ten days a month before period

my therapist said that I most probably have a quiet bpd
I think she might be right
Sometimes I feel so much pain that it hurts physically as if there is a fire in my body


I so much wish that I had another brain
I think one day science will be able to do so much more for people like us

Yesterday was the day when I finally absorbed that thought that the suffering of my brain will never go away
and cbt is the only way out
I am honestly so tired of suffering every month for ten days before my period
seems unbearable

I lost all my faith in reincarnation or spiritual things

just want a peaceful way out

thinking of leaving this body in a forest somewhere in northern Europe using sn or n

 

[FuneralCry]

This life is just so cruel and unfair, and I know that it is hard to carry on when you are so tired. I also just want peace as well, to me the thought of suffering until old age is so horrifying. I wish you relief from pain.

 

[MsMaudlin]

Hello, and welcome.
I'm sorry that you are suffering physical pain, it's very debilitating.
I hope you find peace

❤

 

[MicropBaldCurrycel]

welcome and im sorry the abuse you have suffered, we are here for you. This place has been great for emotional support.

 

[iwanttohugthetrees]

thank you very much guys
you all seem like such wonderful people

 

[london3]

hello,guys

I feel like I need to introduce myself
I have read stories of so many lovely people on here
and so sad to see very lovely people go but I know they found peace now

I am 33, female from Latvia but live in uk

My parents were very abusive,both physically and mentally
I think that what has formed my disfunctioning personality

I also suffer from premenstrual disorder when I am out of order for ten days a month before period

my therapist said that I most probably have a quiet bpd
I think she might be right
Sometimes I feel so much pain that it hurts physically as if there is a fire in my body


I so much wish that I had another brain
I think one day science will be able to do so much more for people like us

Yesterday was the day when I finally absorbed that thought that the suffering of my brain will never go away
and cbt is the only way out
I am honestly so tired of suffering every month for ten days before my period
seems unbearable

I lost all my faith in reincarnation or spiritual things

just want a peaceful way out

thinking of leaving this body in a forest somewhere in Europe using sn or n

I am really sorry for your suffering, hope you find peace soon.

Has medicine or therapy helped at all with your childhood trauma and PMS?

 

[iwanttohugthetrees]

I am really sorry for your suffering, hope you find peace soon.

Has medicine or therapy helped at all with your childhood trauma and PMS?

hi and thank you for your kind words

to be honest,not really
I have volunteerely admitted myself into psych wards few times
but in my country they are very much ok and I enjoyed my time there
never been one in the uk,though have asked to be admitted two years ago

pills can help,but they dont help me to feel loved and get rid off feeling that no one likes me
psychotherapy helps,but I was in it for one year,decided that I am ok and here I am
I dont want to be a psychotherapy patient for the rest of my life
I want a child and family
and to be able to feel happy and calm
dont think my brain is helping me to achieve that

 

[LoveYoux]

I dont want to be a psychotherapy patient for the rest of my life
I want a child and family
and to be able to feel happy and calm
dont think my brain is helping me to achieve that

That is so beautiful.
And I truly don't think there's anyone who doesn't want that for you either. You're so much better than you realise, you're keenly aware of your mental state and have an inert desire to improve and develop
You have goals, and you're engaging with treatments
All I can really say is just go easy on yourself, rest, stay hydrated, get enough sleep and just keep doing what you're doing, you're gong to be fine x

 

[iwanttohugthetrees]

That is so beautiful.
And I truly don't think there's anyone who doesn't want that for you either. You're so much better than you realise, you're keenly aware of your mental state and have an inert desire to improve and develop
You have goals, and you're engaging with treatments
All I can really say is just go easy on yourself, rest, stay hydrated, get enough sleep and just keep doing what you're doing, you're gong to be fine x

thank you ❤