Discussion Intense thoughts about suicide/death when going to bed/sleep

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When you go to bed and lie there, do you also think about dying/suicide all the time? Is that a burdening or beautiful thought for you? How do you deal with it, if it's burdening you?

Especially when I go to sleep and close my eyes, I visualize how I carry out different methods. Mostly I imagine myself lying dead and deformed in front of a train.

 

[BitterlyAlive]

I absolutely think about it. It's soothing. I feel a bit sad because of my family and friends, but I'm tired of suffering and looking forward to the day I finally kill myself.

 

[SipSop]

I deal with tormenting thoughts by playing a documentary with the right voice and content on youtube.

 

[BitterlyAlive]

I deal with tormenting thoughts by playing a documentary with the right voice and content on youtube.

Good idea. Do you have any favorite topics?

 

[blackcatnash]

I'm doing the same thing every night. Actually it helps so much in getting sleep faster. It's such a peaceful thought to me right now, not a burden at all. Someone dreams about getting rich, someone about wild adventures, but nothing beats thinking about the end of all suffering. It "almost" puts a smile on my face the exact moment in which I fall asleep.

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

Lying in bed is difficult for me. I've been experiencing horrible insomnia recently, and staying up late often comes along with thoughts of suicide or other harmful impulses. I've taken to watching comic videos on YouTube - British panel shows, John Mulaney... the stuff that will make me laugh. I've also taken to imagine that I have a friend watching with me and we're enjoying it together. That way I can feel like I'm enjoying a social situation. It's stupid, but it helps me cope.

 

[SipSop]

Good idea. Do you have any favorite topics?

Well, I can give you some of them. But if you want to try this rememver that different things work for different people. So if this is not on your liking perhaps other topics are.
One of them is Bob Ross paintings.
I like his soothing voice and the occaisonal scratches on the canvas.

 

[BitterlyAlive]

Well, I can give you some of them. But if you want to try this rememver that different things work for different people. So if this is not on your liking perhaps other topics are.
One of them is Bob Ross paintings.
I like his soothing voice and the occaisonal scratches on the canvas.

I'm always open to exploring new ideas. :) I've actually never watched Bob Ross, but his videos seem rather soothing.

 

[Squiddy]

I'm more suicidal in the morning than at night

 

[tidalwxves]

When you go to bed and lie there, do you also think about dying/suicide all the time? Is that a burdening or beautiful thought for you? How do you deal with it, if it's burdening you?

Especially when I go to sleep and close my eyes, I visualize how I carry out different methods. Mostly I imagine myself lying dead and deformed in front of a train.

I find I think about it a lot throughout the day, but at night its a peaceful feeling, like I'm one step closer to getting out of here. Waking up is hard, being forced to face another day - that's the only time the thoughts are actually unpleasant in my experience.

 

[rt1989526]

I think about dying 24/7

 

[Notme]

Always dream of me hanging myself. My dreams are so vivid at the moment its unreal.

 

[dundyfundy]

Yes pretty much, but it's the worst on Sundays. I like days when I am free, no schedule / work. The thought of being forced to wake up at certain hours and doing something even if I "enjoy it" just to survive is what makes it so bad.

Don't really have a good way of dealing with it, mostly end up wasting 2-3 hours lost in thought process and falling asleep just couple hours before I got to wake up.