Inspiration.

[indecision]

Hey, you the one who is reading this thread please comment your opinions id love to read them.

I'm always wondering what people feel when they are at this pit and feel like there is no way out, what is it?
Lack of inspiration, seeing no point in everything, bad environment around you, not being able to succeed or what are we lacking as humans? What is bothering you?
People who have felt or still are feeling this indescribable void in themselves, what is eating you from the inside? What are we lacking?
I used to live in constant fear towards death and everything suddenly ending bothered me a lot and still does, but what is death? Why should we fear something that is only when we are not?

Think about it, have you done something with your life enough to feel fulfilled and happy enough to take something that you're granted once? I do not feel like i have made or done anything great and remarkable to be able to feel like this is it, and there's nothing to it and i might never feel like it, but ill keep precious to me the experience i was given and the chance i had to live and feel.

Some think like Earth or everything we call life is just filled with sorrow, its not true. Even if everything else isn't beautiful around you, you are beautiful. You can make things beautiful in a way another person might not see it.

Take the sky as an example. Stars, planets, asteroids, just trash in the space, everything. Why do you think they are there, why does the flower bloom in your backyard, why does the sun exist? You cant really explain the point to why does it have to do that, or find a point in every single thing. Why does the sun shine? It will stop shining at some point too trust me. It doesn't have to do that, does it? You don't have to be some miracle of a human either, u don't have to shine all the time or feel like there has to be a point in simple stuff in your life. Sometimes indescribable things happen and will happen more. Try to learn to accept them, to live with the sorrow. It will hurt and it will suck, but you will make it. You dont have to prove yourself to anyone, unless you want to. :)

Just be! Feel like trash, cry about stuff, laugh about things, hate, feel stuck, be confused. Watch plants grow, moon rise, wind blow through leaves, do anything! Maybe you cant do well, everything, but you can do things to find inspiration in life to keep going. Once you will die anyway, and you can not do anything about it, but why does it have to be now?
Maybe you don't have anyone in life or anything to keep going for.. Why do it for others? Sometimes its good to have something to keep going for, a dream maybe, a person, pet, hope, love, sibling, a friend, perhaps a plant you are taking care of, anything, but there's no need to think that if theres nothing you could name from the top of your head that keeps you going, that then your life is over. Why live for something that's not apart of your life, why seek for it as if its all that matters?

You don't have to, but just know that life will come to an end anyway and i think you should use the minutes, hours, days, months or years to find something to see yourself in and relate to. Find inspiration, i do not know what you seek in life, but make it seem worth it for your own self.

Do it for you, go on a walk, think about stuff you can reach, think about stuff you cant reach in life, if so then how can you reach it? Maybe you specifically are not capable for the thing you seek for, but so what? Find something new and long for that even more. Live for death and live until it comes, it will and you cant avoid it, so make things in life beautiful for you and matter for yourself. Find inspiration, shit lol it can take years and in some cases it will, but search for it. Make it all matter to you. You wont shine forever, but shine when you can.

Gaze at the stars they are beautiful and some of them will disappear one day, like yourself.

Death is when we are not, and we are when death is not, dont be afraid.. Make your life the way you want it, even if it might end soon. Find inspiration, you have a beautiful soul that is yearning for it.

 

[Forever Sleep]

A beautiful post. Here is my story and perspective:

For me personally, I was lucky enough and also worked hard to 'follow my dreams'. Have some opportunities in a creative career to work on some pretty exciting projects. Was I totally happy with them? Not entirely but, that's what makes you try to do better next time round.

Being creative was my deep felt 'purpose' in life. It's truly all I thought I'd need to be ok. It developed out of a shitty situation in childhood but it effectively carried me through life and ideation (which I developed young- age 10) until recently.

It's always been a career that is under threat so- there's continually the threat of not getting work, not earning enough and having to return to retail wage slavery- which I know I hate from 10 years experience.

So, maybe it was the ever increasing threat of failure that first got to me. Seeing as the prospect I was going to have to give up was becoming ever more real, maybe I started to wean myself away from it emotionally. It would hurt less to have to quit if I didn't care about it so much.

Maybe I did too gooder job there because, for the past few years, that spark and excitement has gone mostly. I still care about trying to do the best job I can but, something's missing now.

It doesn't change the issue that the job is continually under threat, it's demanding in its own way. Tight deadlines, having to wear multiple hats, physically demanding sometimes. So- it's become another necessary chore in some ways. So- that's kind of gone for me as my main reason to stay.

I still can appreciate things in life. Nature, music, games, films, food. All enjoyable- sure. But, simply not good enough for what they 'cost' in terms of sustaining a life to enjoy them (in my experience.) Plus, if I'm dead, how can I even miss those things? (Depending on your belief I suppose.)

Sometimes I feel like there are still things I want to see but then other times, I wonder if I can be bothered. Do I want to travel on a crowded train some place? Do I want to risk getting ill on public transport? (No sickness pay in freelance.) Foods lovely but, do I want to get even fatter?

Relationships are complex now because I can't really show how I feel in front of family. It would only hurt them. Plus, the antinatilist resentment I feel at being born in the first place means I don't take nagging or criticism well. Even when it's well intentioned.

So effectively for me, it feels like every 'good' thing in life comes with a hefty negative caveat, which tends to make everything feel as if it isn't worth it.

For me personally, it's not like I feel like I can't climb out the hole I'm in. I've climbed out of multiple holes in life. I've begun again multiple times. In my case, none of the climbs were ultimately worth the effort! Another big hole was waiting for me on the other side.

Life's mercifully not terrible for me right now. I can tread water to wait for my Dad to go first but afterwards, I hope I can find my peace. Along the way, I'll enjoy the scenary for sure but I doubt it will ever feel worth the cost of the ticket.

What's your story?