Venting Indifference

[Archness]

Numb... I feel less and less.

If normies experience the world as-if it was a painting, then I'd be seeing it with a raw photograph. It's still quite far from objective, as it passes through a lens and is perceived by myself. It's just less then what other can simply see, can simply know.

It's simply sensory input, as I'm a still ship in a torrent of stimuli and social-nonsense.

Happy new years, another day passes with the year.
Was this supposed to be important? I could hardly tell, the entire event was just input.
It's just over. This will be how the world looks to me, more and more, until I die. I have no idea past vague notions of "more" and my former haze of retardedness what it's all supposed to look like as a human.

Fucking autism, stupid defective brain. Only a shotgun could fix it.

 

[Abyssal]

I envy those who are able to find importance is things. Christmas was especially rough for me for I chose to believe it would have meaning and yet it was but another day. Another day to pass me by. Another moment of numbness and disappointment. Why do I even try to live, it just lets me down every time. Existence is numbness and regret.

 

[almaPerdida]

I feel this so much. I remember waiting happily for xmas and new year. I loved doing things by that time.

Nowadays it just feels boring. All the things that used to make me happy don't work anymore. I don't enjoy things anymore.
All the stuff i looked forward for, now just seems dull. Nothing takes away the emptiness anymore.