Venting increasing depression

[rata1]

what a boring life. i am going down more and more. depression is getting stronger and stronger. what am i doing in this shitty life? day by day trying to get better. haha nice joke! since decades fighting and nothing changed. i am curious where this is leading to. tryed it several times and stopped it just before the decisive moment. so it is not very probable that i do the one step, the rigth step, to finally go where i should go, out of this sad life. i would have deserved a better existence i think. as a child i never did nothing bad to anybody. but it had no use. there is no logic like: you do good so you will earn good..... but me, as a child i would have deserved it. today i don't know. too much things happened. probably i am not as innocent as when i was a child. i am depressed since decades but rarely i experienced such a increasing episode. i wonder where this is leading to. as i yet bought several times a one way ticket without using it, i don't think that i ll have the balls to finally use them one day. that means, that depression will continue and i don't know how i will get throgh this shitty senseless life. i would have given my life to others.. there are many that died or have to die but they love life. they enjoy life. i can't. so i would give them mine. but yeah, no sense here in this life, just injustice, and suffering for no reason.... sorry for venting, sorry for my english. i am so glad that this place exists. nice weekend to all! love you

 

[insanedoomer]

yr not alone , but , i can't bring back memories like you do .

 

[anna.voig]

I keep asking myself "what's the point?" all the time. The saddest I get, more I push people away. Depression sucks.

 

[rata1]

I keep asking myself "what's the point?" all the time. The saddest I get, more I push people away. Depression sucks.

oh i know this so well :( ii don't know why neither

 

[WornOutLife]

My depression and bipolar disorder have kinda ruined my life so I understand what you mean.
However, I've realized it is possible to live with them due to the fact that they will probably never leave us.
Thus, I befriended my depression and ups and downs and I'm somehow living.

Hope you can do the same and things get better.

Hugs!

 

[rata1]

My depression and bipolar disorder have kinda ruined my life so I understand what you mean.
However, I've realized it is possible to live with them due to the fact that they will probably never leave us.
Thus, I befriended my depression and ups and downs and I'm somehow living.

Hope you can do the same and things get better.

Hugs!

yes i know what you mean. thank you for the idea. what is different to other times is the rapid changing, not depression itself. i know it since a lot of time. but in general i think taking depression as a friend or trying to love it as a part of oneself is an interesting idea...