In the end SS forum became my friends and community

[FireFox]

Hello everyone

When I joined Sanactioned Suicide forum I found so many forum users all around the world who are broken, lost and have a story to tell. Everyone at first was a stranger but in the end everyone became my friends

You all are my friends because everyone here listened to me and nobody ever judged me. When I come here I feel free to express my real feelings.

When I reach out about my feelings in the real world nobody
is listening instead everybody is judging and acted like they knew best.

I told my mum the future scares me.
My mum said " what have you got to be scared of. You have a roof over your head, food, a bed , a family. You need stop with this behaviour this is how you end up developing bipolar. We cant have that ."
She lectures me how my behaviour is "upsetting the family". She is upsetting me by the comments she is making.

I have NEVER been diagnosed with bipolar and nobody in my family has biploar.

I told my mum " I want to be independent and do so massive things with my life . Not being able to is what scares me. I want adventure, excitement in my life. This is what makes me different from this entire family"

I get told again " it will all be fine and I have nothing to worry about compared to other people" . I get criticed for "taking about the same thing "

My family dont listen at all. My friends are pretty much gone and have their own lives.
I have nobody
I would have never ended up here on this site if people in my life actually listened to me and actually showed me I can have a future.

If people listened to me all this years ago i would be alive today. I dont want to see the next 10 years. In the nobody came to save me from myself. I know how to save a life but what if your the one who needs saving?

I love all of you including those who disagree with me. Thank you for making me feel welcome here and being so lovely. I plan to kill myself when I reach 30.
Love
FireFox

 

[TowerUpright]

I'm so sorry you have to deal with crap like that.

 

[avoid_slow_death]

In a sense, sad you ended up here. Life can be cruel and people ignorant, but that's why this community exists in the first place. Thank you, by the way, for the kind words and love. A shame people like you have to choose this route because once you go, one less good and non ignorant individual on Earth.

 

[FireFox]

I'm so sorry you have to deal with crap like that

I never will ever again talk to my family how I feel. They constantly dismiss everything how I feel.

I am so sick and tired of seeing parents on the TV getting upset when thier children kills themselves. These are same parents who never listened when their children was upset.
Parents need to start listening to their childrens concerns, stop thinking they know what is best..

This pharse "parents know best " is a mechanism for parents to assert authority and control over their children. It is an arrogant belief

In a sense, sad you ended up here. Life can be cruel and people ignorant, but that's why this community exists in the first place. Thank you, by the way, for the kind words and love. A shame people like you have to choose this route because once you go, one less good and non ignorant individual on Earth.

I really wanted to live and there was so much I wanted to do with my life.
- take the eurostar to Amsterdam and go interailing across Europe
- live in a different city
- get married
- do meaningful things with my life
I don't want to be those boring people who work 9-5 and go party on the weekends. No I don't.

I am polar opposites to most my family which is why we clash. My family are happy sitting down watching Netflix all evening. I dont want that . I want to outside meeting people and having many fun experiences.

I am liberal free hippy spirit of the family and my family is all about following boring rules , believing in parent is always right philosophy.

They don't understand me at all.
In the end I lost myself and eventually just lost the will to live.

If I was guided more maybe I wouldn't feel this way.

 

[Marktheghost]

I get told again " it will all be fine and I have nothing to worry about compared to other people" .

So as long as other people have LOADS to worry about, life is perfectly OK?!

 

[JustAMatterOfTime]

Sucks.. I have made friends on this website I like them a lot, I am more like a pet to my mum anyway. I don't like the word community I feel it is overused everything is a community nowadays, but not in this case as there are so many kind like minded people on this website it feels nice to read their thoughts and vent mine. Jonestown was a community too I think, it is a shame we can't all end like that… joking a bit

 

[UterEntonaur]

"You need stop with this behaviour this is how you end up developing bipolar. We cant have that ."

Wow..... Yeah.... cos having a problem that your mother could help and solve is a massive inconvenience to her.... right?

I really wanted to live and there was so much I wanted to do with my life.

I really hope things work out for you and you manage to escape from your narcissistic mother

 

[FireFox]

Wow..... Yeah.... cos having a problem that your mother could help and solve is a massive inconvenience to her.... right?


I really hope things work out for you and you manage to escape from your narcissistic mother

When my mum said my bipolar that's when I thought " oh my god this woman doesn't understand mental illness at all ." I was shocked actually. She knows I don't have bipolar and nobody the family has the condition.

Bipolar is NOT a behaviour it is an illness. Being depressed for a long time doesn't mean a person gets bipolar.

Just because a person has behaviour that makes others upset it does not mean it is bipolar . Only a psychiatrist can make an assessment for bipolar and for a good reason.

Her comments are so insulting she doesn't even realise. It is absolutely disgusting people labelling others with a mental illness just because an individual behaviours makes them upset.

Sucks.. I have made friends on this website I like them a lot, I am more like a pet to my mum anyway. I don't like the word community I feel it is overused everything is a community nowadays, but not in this case as there are so many kind like minded people on this website it feels nice to read their thoughts and vent mine. Jonestown was a community too I think, it is a shame we can't all end like that… joking a bit

I have met wonderful people here on this site it such shame they end up disappearing in the end.

So as long as other people have LOADS to worry about, life is perfectly OK?!

The way my family were talking yesterday they just weren't even making the effort to listen.
Bloody hell
My mum said " I work hard for this family you have a family.. a job will come. Other people your age

I said " it's not the job mum it's million other things .... I want be independent . I want my own life". I was this close screaming the house down. After said this i went outside for 2 hours and came back. I was so furious. She is completly clueless.

My family never listen and never take anything I feel seriously. Always just dismissing and believe they are correct about everything.

I now lie , lie ,lie about how I feel. Everyone now believes I am all feeling better.

This conversation has now made me realise I have nobody who truly understands me.

I love my family but I want my own life. They can't understand this. I am too different from entire family. That is my personality.

My family are happy to watch Netflix at home, talk to relatives, go to the shops and normal routine.
I want to go outside meet different people, go to different places and just have fun.

I want adventure , excitement, purpose in my life that is what makes me different to this family.

 

[wait.what]

So as long as other people have LOADS to worry about, life is perfectly OK?!

The Onion did a satire article on this. I don't recall the headline, which is a pity, but the joke was that everyone on earth feels super great except for this one guy, who objectively has the worst life in the world. There were "man in the street"-type quotes to the effect of: "Well, my house was bombed out yesterday, but I actually have nothing to worry about, because at least I'm not that guy." "I'm being executed by firing squad tomorrow but I'm still whistling a cheerful tune, because I'm not that guy." And "that guy" is like, "Well, shit."

If I have the time & emotional energy I'll try to find the article. Then we can all send it to our stupid relatives. (It won't make a difference in the way they act, but it might feel gratifying for us.)

 

[blue_muse]

I hear you on this FireFox, which is why I think trying to get people in real life to understand our plight can be like head banging against a brick wall and even then at least there's a foregone conclusion.

 

[WornOutLife]

You and the rest of people are my friends too!
I'm alive thanks to you all.
It's wonderful to be in a place in which people really understand the way you feel.

Hugs and love to you all,

Matt

 

[FireFox]

You and the rest of people are my friends too!
I'm alive thanks to you all.
It's wonderful to be in a place in which people really understand the way you feel.

Hugs and love to you all,

Matt

Matt when my mum said "You need to stop with this behaviour otherwise you will develop Bipolar. "

I actually thought of you. When she said this.

I wanted so say "mum bipolar is an illness not a behaviour you don't like. This is so insulting to people to people who suffer from this. " I was so shocked she her comments .

Matt can help with this question ?

Am I right or wrong ? I thought Bipolar is mental illness that runs in families for example if a person has a relative or even parent with bipolar that can increase their chance of getting in the future.

I am aware bipolar comes with manaic highs and then accompanied with depressive lows. These episodes are extremely difficult to control and can last even months.

I have never experience this and majority of the time I am normal.

I have never been diagnosed with bipolar and no one I'm my family has bipolar. The fact my mum can actually say my behaviour will develop to bipolar I am surprised.

I dont think it works like that.

 

[FuneralCry]

People really can be cruel to us and can be so selfish. It is harmful to tell people just to change the way they are acting, it isnt like you asked to be like this. I'm sorry you are going through this and it is simply insensitive for her to say that. Living this life can be so painful. I wish you the best.

 

[MindFrog]

It seems like she's saying that to stop you from worrying about your life, but it comes out as downplaying your emotions. But even IF it does come from her good intentions, it still brings you pain in the end. I have some people in my life who says the same thing.. They just think its soo easy to snap out of it and get on with life. That's why they're always frustrated and dissapointed with you...

I really hope it gets better for you.. And maybe all of us. We could use a little pick me up.

 

[WornOutLife]

Matt when my mum said "You need to stop with this behaviour otherwise you will develop Bipolar. "

I actually thought of you. When she said this.

I wanted so say "mum bipolar is an illness not a behaviour you don't like. This is so insulting to people to people who suffer from this. " I was so shocked she her comments .

Matt can help with this question ?

Am I right or wrong ? I thought Bipolar is mental illness that runs in families for example if a person has a relative or even parent with bipolar that can increase their chance of getting in the future.

I am aware bipolar comes with manaic highs and then accompanied with depressive lows. These episodes are extremely difficult to control and can last even months.

I have never experience this and majority of the time I am normal.

I have never been diagnosed with bipolar and no one I'm my family has bipolar. The fact my mum can actually say my behaviour will develop to bipolar I am surprised.

I dont think it works like that.

Oh, I'm glad you thought of me somehow haha.

And yes, you are right!!!

Being bipolar is not a behaviour! I do my best to behave as normal as possible everyday but my brain suddenly decides to be either TOO MANIC or TOO DEPRESSED!!! My meds are really helping to control it but my anxiety these days have been tremendeous! I'm just too scared of failing at whatever I have or decide to do.

Oh and yeah, I think genetics has something to do with bipolar stuff because my mom is schizophrenic and my psych told me that those too mental illnesses are related!

 

[FireFox]

Oh, I'm glad you thought of me somehow haha.

And yes, you are right!!!

Being bipolar is not a behaviour! I do my best to behave as normal as possible everyday but my brain suddenly decides to be either TOO MANIC or TOO DEPRESSED!!! My meds are really helping to control it but my anxiety these days have been tremendeous! I'm just too scared of failing at whatever I have or decide to do.

Oh and yeah, I think genetics has something to do with bipolar stuff because my mom is schizophrenic and my psych told me that those too mental illnesses are related!

I am so sorry to hear about mother . Schizophrenia is awful mental illness. One of my neighbours she is an elderly woman and her son had schizophrenia and a drug addiction which made the condition even worse. Her son died just a couple of years ago he was found dead in the street the cause of death was a drugs overdose. In the time he was alive he was always in and out of hospitals. In my neighbourhood ambulances would always be outside the house and sometimes the police as well. The medication he was prescribed he was not taking it this made him violent and unstable towards his mother . His behaviour was well known in the neighbourhood.

When I was child I was told to stay away from the man while I was outside playing with friends. I was very scared of him but at the same time I felt sorry for him. He was always confused and unwashed in his appearance. He was a nice man just very troubled.

My grandmother is friends with the woman and the family. They are very lovely family. The day he died my grandmother went to the woman's house and to comfort her. The day died my mum told my sister and I to come to the house and comfort the family. His death shocked the neighbourhood.

This experience has taught me compassion towards people who are severely mentally ill especially those who suffer bipolar, schizophrenia etc.

My family recognise schizophrenia and bipolar as a mental illness. My family don't believe depression is real. My family even believe I have an eating disorder lol . I have not been diagnosed with an eating disorder. The very thin female people are worried about it. I am just fine.

How is your mother currently doing ? I hope she is safe and doing well. I feel sorry for you and your mother your both severely ill.

Schizophrenia and bipolar are just cruel illness .

 

[FireFox]

It seems like she's saying that to stop you from worrying about your life, but it comes out as downplaying your emotions. But even IF it does come from her good intentions, it still brings you pain in the end. I have some people in my life who says the same thing.. They just think its soo easy to snap out of it and get on with life. That's why they're always frustrated and dissapointed with you...

I really hope it gets better for you.. And maybe all of us. We could use a little pick me up.

It is so frustrating when no is listening and they are always believing they are constantly correct. The Worst things of all is when people believe their own version of events instead of reality.

My mum is one of those parents who constantly say " you have a roof, there is no rush to move out, there is no rush to work."

I want my own life. I love my family but I want my own life. Living on my own I can have the freedom to make my own decisions and do whatever I want .

I am sick and tired of being tied to my family, waking up in the same neighbourhood every day and just seeing the same faces.

My mum can never understand this. It is so frustrating. I just want to scream at her " you don't know anything about me you always working, talking more to relatives and being so involved in their problems etc. You know absolutely nothing about me. '

I hate my dad so much for never being around. He didn't care. He is a horrible man who has children with multiple women and dont care for them.

When my mum was mad at me growing up I was always told by mum " I work hard for this family " and then she proceeds to criticise my behaviour.

I feel nothing but resentment growing up without a father. I sometimes wish my dad was around because my mum wouldn't have to work all the time, constantly get reminded how there is no father and the list is endless.

 

[domedune]

The Onion did a satire article on this. I don't recall the headline, which is a pity, but the joke was that everyone on earth feels super great except for this one guy, who objectively has the worst life in the world. There were "man in the street"-type quotes to the effect of: "Well, my house was bombed out yesterday, but I actually have nothing to worry about, because at least I'm not that guy." "I'm being executed by firing squad tomorrow but I'm still whistling a cheerful tune, because I'm not that guy." And "that guy" is like, "Well, shit."

If I have the time & emotional energy I'll try to find the article. Then we can all send it to our stupid relatives. (It won't make a difference in the way they act, but it might feel gratifying for us.)

People say "at least you're not this person" when someone is sad but never say "you'll never be as well-off as this person" when someone is happy. I'd like to see an Onion article (or something similar) that reads like it's someone giving an inspirational story of their life, saying they've "really changed their outlook on life", but instead of them comparing themselves to people worse off than themselves, they compare themselves to people better off.

"I came to realize that while it may seem like I have a good life, there are many people in the world who are happier than me, who would look at the food on my plate and say nothing because they don't want to offend me with their pity. Many people have better lives than me and are still sad, and my living situation is relatively unstable. Remember: while things may seem bright now, there's a darkness at the end of the tunnel. It gets worse."