Venting In the 1st day of SN regimen and feel lonely

[snuff]

i've decided to do the SN regimen today, and already took the 2nd dose of meto. planning to take the SN tomorrow night. after i took the 2nd meto i'm really broke down emotionally. feel really lonely, terrified and it kills me, like i don't know i kinda want to rage but i just can't. hope someone have a spare time to have a talk just to calm my anxiety

 

[mediocre]

Those are normal feelings. I feel exactly the same way.. I really want to take it but I am afraid. You have us here on SS to support you no matter what you decide.

 

[snuff]

Those are normal feelings. I feel exactly the same way.. I really want to take it but I am afraid. You have us here on SS to support you no matter what you decide.

i didn't expect these feelings. yesterday i felt so calm and peace when i commited to do it as soon as possible. but now it literally fucked my feelings

 

[mediocre]

i didn't expect these feelings. yesterday i felt so calm and peace when i commited to do it as soon as possible. but now it literally fucked my feelings

I have been through this many times.. it is a cycle. I feel so down then I commit to ctb the next day.. I make some plans.. clean up a bit so my flat isn't a mess.. in preparation to finally go. But then it's like I hit a brick wall and can't do it.

 

[snuff]

I have been through this many times.. it is a cycle. I feel so down then I commit to ctb the next day.. I make some plans.. clean up a bit so my flat isn't a mess.. in preparation to finally go. But then it's like I hit a brick wall and can't do it.

exactly what i did yesterday, clean up my room as my the last place to rest, felt so calm and peaceful while doing that. but now it's different story lol. how are you anyway? still commit to do it?

 

[mediocre]

exactly what i did yesterday, clean up my room as my the last place to rest, felt so calm and peaceful while doing that. but now it's different story lol. how are you anyway? still commit to do it?

It is completely normal and many of us have gone through it. It takes a lot of courage to finally drink the SN. I really want to do it but I am stuck.. my anxiety is too much. I know I have come to the end... but I can't take the final step. It seems impossible.

 

[snuff]

It is completely normal and many of us have gone through it. It takes a lot of courage to finally drink the SN. I really want to do it but I am stuck.. my anxiety is too much. I know I have come to the end... but I can't take the final step. It seems impossible.

well indeed it takes a lot of courage to do the final step. you don't know what will you feel, either you will be calmer or fucked up. i just hope it will be better for me tomorrow when i take the SN

 

[stationarymillennial]

OP, have you considered that you might want to put this on hold for a bit while you work through your thoughts? I'm not pro-life, ew, but just kinda making sure you're comfortable with your decision. It needs to be as close to 100% as possible. The less that percentage is, the higher the SI will be. Just some food for thought. Or a totally useless post. Not sure yet, but Imma just hit send.

 

[Emily123]

i don't really know what will be my feelings in the last hours . I hate my body more than anything else in the world and i must be happy when I kno that I am destroying it . But there can be anxiety and the feeling of loneliness in the last hours .
if you make the final decision todo it, i wish you a peaceful journey

 

[Deleted-User-0]

i've decided to do the SN regimen today, and already took the 2nd dose of meto. planning to take the SN tomorrow night. after i took the 2nd meto i'm really broke down emotionally. feel really lonely, terrified and it kills me, like i don't know i kinda want to rage but i just can't. hope someone have a spare time to have a talk just to calm my anxiety

Just like @stationarymillennial has mentioned you don't sound mentally ready.
I ain't no pro-lifer either but I think it's sensible to postpone it until you feel ready.
Whatever you decide to do my thoughts with you

 

[esse_est_percipi]

i've decided to do the SN regimen today, and already took the 2nd dose of meto. planning to take the SN tomorrow night. after i took the 2nd meto i'm really broke down emotionally. feel really lonely, terrified and it kills me, like i don't know i kinda want to rage but i just can't. hope someone have a spare time to have a talk just to calm my anxiety

I don't mean to try to read your thoughts but it sounds like you're not completely ready.
It sounds like you are looking for someone to try and talk you out of it, going by the general tone of your post.
If you are not 100% reconciled to your decision and at peace, I would suggest you reconsider...

 

[snuff]

i don't really know what will be my feelings in the last hours . I hate my body more than anything else in the world and i must be happy when I kno that I am destroying it . But there can be anxiety and the feeling of loneliness in the last hours .
if you make the final decision todo it, i wish you a peaceful journey

unfortunately nobody knows too. and i really hate this kinda mixed feelings. and thank you for your wishes. hope you a goodluck on every step you make

 

[Emily123]

unfortunately nobody knows too. and i really hate this kinda mixed feelings. and thank you for your wishes. hope you a goodluck on every step you make

i don't know when you're going to do it . i will read your messages and i will try to be online . Don't feel you are alone . we will be with you

 

[snuff]

I don't mean to try to read your thoughts but it sounds like you're not completely ready.
It sounds like you are looking for someone to try and talk you out of it, going by the general tone of your post.
If you are not 100% reconciled to your decision and at peace, I would suggest you reconsider...

you probably read exactly what's in my mind. but on the other hand i feel like the more i put myself on hold the more i suffer. i planning to do it since few weeks ago, now i'm done with every thing that i need to do before i go, thought i can feel much calmer on the day im doing it. but it totally fucked my feelings and my mind now, would be so shame if i need to delay it :(

 

[esse_est_percipi]

you probably read exactly what's in my mind. but on the other hand i feel like the more i put myself on hold the more i suffer. i planning to do it since few weeks ago, now i'm done with every thing that i need to do before i go, thought i can feel much calmer on the day im doing it. but it totally fucked my feelings and my mind now, would be so shame if i need to delay it :(

I don't know what your circumstances are, but I really hope you find peace.
I completely understand your feelings being a bit all over the place.
Maybe you have some hope things will get better for you? If so, perhaps this is not the right time?

 

[Captive of Mind]

i didn't expect these feelings. yesterday i felt so calm and peace when i commited to do it as soon as possible. but now it literally fucked my feelings

I will probably have the same thing happen to me. Right now I'm in the acquisition stage where I'm anxiously scouring the internet for the best method and means of attaining it. Then when I have everything I need I will be so relieved and at peace. But as soon as I decide to do it, my SI will kick in and my heart will explode with emotion and push back.

 

[falloutcarter13]

As many people have said, it doesn't seem like you're quite ready. And that's okay! Even though I plan to ctb with SN, its still really hard to imagine how it'll feel at that moment. You know, its been said that the 48 hour plan isn't really any more effective than the stat dose...I kind of got the feeling that for some people, 48 hour is better for the mental preparation while others prefer to just rip off the bandaid with stat. Maybe stop your regimen for now, work on finding a little more peace with everything and making damn sure this is what you really want...and if/when you decide "yeah this is what I need, time to go" you can just do the stat dosing so as not to work yourself up over such a long period of time? Just a suggestion. My heart goes out to you

 

[snuff]

As many people have said, it doesn't seem like you're quite ready. And that's okay! Even though I plan to ctb with SN, its still really hard to imagine how it'll feel at that moment. You know, its been said that the 48 hour plan isn't really any more effective than the stat dose...I kind of got the feeling that for some people, 48 hour is better for the mental preparation while others prefer to just rip off the bandaid with stat. Maybe stop your regimen for now, work on finding a little more peace with everything and making damn sure this is what you really want...and if/when you decide "yeah this is what I need, time to go" you can just do the stat dosing so as not to work yourself up over such a long period of time? Just a suggestion. My heart goes out to you

you're right. i was taking the regimen because i thought i can prepare my mental and emotional, but i was wrong. it just gave me more anxiety and terrifying. also since you're so helpful in this community and surely you know much more than me, i've sent you a pm just to consult about SN kit. thanks for your kind words mate :)

 

[airboy_a380]

i've decided to do the SN regimen today, and already took the 2nd dose of meto. planning to take the SN tomorrow night. after i took the 2nd meto i'm really broke down emotionally. feel really lonely, terrified and it kills me, like i don't know i kinda want to rage but i just can't. hope someone have a spare time to have a talk just to calm my anxiety

How many to you have to take? I thought one was enough?

 

[snuff]

How many to you have to take? I thought one was enough?

10mg every 8 hours for day 1 mate