In LOVE but I want to CTB. Just ordered SN

[NitroussBlue]

Yesterday I was walking down the street and I felt more dead than alive, maybe some of you can empathize with that feeling.
I was thinking about how crazy it is, I met this wonderful girl, she is loving, encourages me to be better, makes me feel loved, understood and calms me down, and yet I want to CTB. We recently went official with our relationship, she is my GF now and I really love her but I just dont want to live anymore.

I just ordered SN

It was easy, i placed the order in my local drugstore. It will take between 48 and 72hs to arrive. They just asked my full name, my number and that was it!
I guess I have to prep these remaining few days for my attempt.

How can protect her from the outcome of my actions? I really feel I met my soulmate, I dont want to hurt her.

 

[enjoytheride]

Thank you for reaching out. It's wonderful that you have found a person that makes you feel the ways you describe. It really seems like true gold in the midst of fool's gold, which is so abundant nowadays.

Before doing anything irreversible, have you discussed or considered discussing this with her, to hear her views? Maybe she can give you good arguments to stay and provide you with support. You can tell it to her in a less direct way, as to not shock her. No one can take away the right you have to CTB. You can CTB anytime in your life. Why not delay it and try to figure things out?

You have inherent worth, dignity, as a human being and it is great that a girl has seen and acknowledged this.

Kind regards and best wishes

 

[brillar]

Por favor me gustaría comprar SN para España. No puedo más con las enfermedades. Alguien podría ayudarme?

 

[NitroussBlue]

Thank you for reaching out. It's wonderful that you have found a person that makes you feel the ways you describe. It really seems like true gold in the midst of fool's gold, which is so abundant nowadays.

Before doing anything irreversible, have you discussed or considered discussing this with her, to hear her views? Maybe she can give you good arguments to stay and provide you with support. You can tell it to her in a less direct way, as to not shock her. No one can take away the right you have to CTB. You can CTB anytime in your life. Why not delay it and try to figure things out?

You have inherent worth, dignity, as a human being and it is great that a girl has seen and acknowledged this.

Kind regards and best wishes

Thanks for your kind words!
I have indirectly touched the matter yesterday, she shared what she wrote about the topic in her diary a few months back with me and made me feel loved and understood. Its definitely not easy to talk about you wanting to ctb with a loved one, maybe I have to bring the matter forward more directly with her. She is also in the last stretch of her degree to become a psychologist, so maybe she can help me with that too

Thanks :)

Por favor me gustaría comprar SN para España. No puedo más con las enfermedades. Alguien podría ayudarme?

Soy de Sudamerica. En una drogueria puedes conseguir. En algunos paises esta regularizado, asi que fijate. No creo que tengas suerte consiguiendo online en portales convencionales, muchas veces esta prohibido.

(ENG)
Im from South America. You can get it at a Drugstore. Sale is controled in some countries, so check first. I dont think you can get it on conventional online markets, many times its sale is forbiden

 

[Doll Steak]

I get that feeling, yesterday I went out and practiced a hobby I have but out of nowhere I just felt gone, for 30 minutes my mind just felt dead, numb, like it flatlined.

The feeling went away but during that time I felt so extremely suicidal, almost more than usual. I was looking at my surroundings thinking about the various ways I could CTB right then and there but I managed to find some clarity in the moment so I did not act on it.

It's terrible that you are in this mental pain, I hope you can find relief. Please be gentle with yourself.

 

[brillar]

¡Gracias por tus amables palabras!
Ayer toqué el tema indirectamente. Ella compartió conmigo lo que escribió sobre el tema en su diario hace unos meses y me hizo sentir querida y comprendida. Definitivamente no es fácil hablar de querer tener una relación de contacto con un ser querido; quizá deba hablar del tema más directamente con ella. Además, está en la recta final de su carrera de psicología, así que quizá pueda ayudarme con eso también.

Gracias :)

Soy de Sudamérica. En una droguería puedes conseguir. En algunos paises esta regularizado, asi que fijate. No creo que tengas suerte consiguiendo online en portales convencionales, muchas veces esta prohibido.

(ESP)
Soy de Sudamérica. Puedes conseguirlo en farmacias. La venta está controlada en algunos países, así que consulta primero. No creo que puedas conseguirlo en tiendas online convencionales; muchas veces su venta está prohibida.

Muchas gracias.
Pero en España no puedo conseguir en farmacias. En Sudamérica no se.
Podría pedir donde pidió para que me llegue a España. No quiero luchar más con el dolor cronico. Por favor si puede darme más detalle agradecería. Solo busco descansar en paz