Discussion in lieu of suicide note

[ManWithNoName]

The debate on whether to leave a suicide note is an endless one no doubt. Would there perhaps be a third choice? I'm thinking instead of a note, could one just drop hints to those closest that you do not expect to ever "grow old" or suggest, in an indirect way, that you have reached the end of your life? It's a slippery slope because the trick is to do so without causing alarm. At the very least when the time comes that one calls it quits, then the impact it has on friends and family could be less traumatic—though this is speculative.

 

[Paralyzed boy]

Hey I Want to chime in on this, I know exactly how you feel. I recently opened up to a friend about becoming depressed and she told me you can't really can't control how other people are going to react.

I noticed that for me, even trying to write sucicde notes, the amount of guilt not for myself but for my friends and family instantly triggers the survival instinct in me(maybe I should stick around for them). The reality is what you feel is what you feel. I found multiple times that writing notes then re-reading them can be therapeutic because it realizes where it can hold you back from CTbing only for a day or two because it speaks to your conscious.

I think if you really don't see improvement such as myself(health problems and poor quality of life)
It is probably better to pre-write suicide notes so when the time actually comes you won't fixated on other people but can focus on your own journey and can reduce anxiety about your decision.

Thinking about leaving the world is already anxious enough and you can't really control how people can react because if you are successful in CTb you won't be able to make amends with them anyways.

My best advice is to pre-write notes that way when you feel or if you ever feel that your time has truly come you are focussed on the moment and it's one less thing to worry about which is what I've personally done. An added benefit is writing the notes themselves can really guilt your conscious and make you re-evaluate if what you're ready to go or are just looking for a way to cope day to day.

hope that helps

 

[BridgeJumper]

No, it will probably not work the way you intended - unless your family members are psychopaths.
Ive been 'droppping hints' like this for years and it only made them feel more guilty and agitated. - 'This rope really compliments my eye colour', 'I cant imagine living through another 60 years of this bullshit', 'Ill crack my head open like a cold one with the boys so better get a closed casket funeral'
Or maybe I just went way too far?

 

[Pryras]

Dropping hints isn't a good idea imo. I'm sure once your gone they may look back at the hints and hold tremendous guilt for not understanding the signs or intent.

If you're debating wether or not to write a note, I would say write one.

 

[Isadeth]

I drop hints, well actually I just come out and say that I won't be here to grow old with... that being said, I really thought I'd be dead by 27. Here I am almost 29 and still around.

But I don't just drop hints. I have been making recordable story books for my children, I have purchased multiple cards for every occassion to my children with encouraging/sentimental writing etc.. whether they read them or want them is a completely different story. But I can't control how they react then or if my husband will give them to them. They do make me feel more prepared though. They make me feel like I have my priorities together, if that makes sense.

Be careful dropping too many hints, that's a good way to find yourself on a psych ward. ♡

 

[ManWithNoName]

Dropping hints isn't a good idea imo. I'm sure once your gone they may look back at the hints and hold tremendous guilt for not understanding the signs or intent.

If you're debating wether or not to write a note, I would say write one.

That is a good point that there could be a post-mortem guilt for not acting on the hints.

 

[TAW122]

I think due to the risk of intervention and potentially jeopardizing your plans and attempt, those alone would be a reason for me not to drop hints. I believe that people are simply going to be sad whether there is a note or not, imho. If anything, having some explanation would be better than having them guess and doubt about why and what they could have done.

 

[ManWithNoName]

An added benefit is writing the notes themselves can really guilt your conscious and make you re-evaluate if what you're ready to go or are just looking for a way to cope day to day.

hope that helps

This is probably a good excercise to write a note any, one can tear it up and discard it afterwards. I agree that this will help clarify to what extent one wants to terminate their life. It has been said that ideas are real, and writing down those ideas is the first step to making them a reality. I recall hearing this from entrepreneur motivational speakers.