In Commemoration Of...

[Captive of Mind]

Not too long ago, Falloutcarter joined this community where he became a voice of reason, humor, and compassion. I started reading his posts when I was a guest on this website, and knew we would become fast friends. He extended himself generously to others whether it be to give advice, information, or just good conversation. I'm sure he touched the hearts of many. At times, he acknowledged that he got carried away and acted out of line towards others (like everyone does), but he was man enough to recognize it and right his wrongs. I admire the way he approached situations with rationality and tried his best to be level headed. He is a beautiful soul that has been trodden down by this sick, twisted world. YOU HAVE BROKEN FREE FROM YOUR SHACKLES HERE! ..and I envy you.. Please, save me a spot beside you and I will be there soon! In the place where anguish and torment is long gone, we will rest.

 

[Denise2207]

Has he seriously cbt?

 

[Captive of Mind]

Has he seriously cbt?

Sadly, I think so. I didn't think it would hit me this hard.

 

[Denise2207]

Sadly, I think so. I didn't think it would hit me this hard.

I can't believe it. I used to read his posts while lurking..... didn't speak to him much but loved reading what he wrote. I actually pm'd him before to see if he was ok. I'm in bits

 

[esse_est_percipi]

Thanks for posting this.
In his final few weeks on this godforsaken planet, Falloutcarter13 gave me his time and intelligence and good humor and I thank him for that.
I was awaiting another message from him, but I now know that message will never come.

But I am joyful that he is finally at peace. He once said in a post that he had a weird theory or idea about what comes after death (I can't remember his exact words), but I never found out what it was.
I hope that theory has come true for him.

 

[Disco Biscuit]

He was here yesterday and he said he wasn't leaving until late September. What's going on?

 

[Moonbounce]

My final interaction with falloutcarter wasn't the smoothest, but he was a good man. I hope if he did succeed that he passed peacefully.

 

[esse_est_percipi]

He was here yesterday and he said he wasn't leaving until late September. What's going on?

He slipped away, probably by the method he said he was going to use.
No one knows if it was 'accidental' or not.
But you are right, he said on several occasions he wasn't leaving until late september.
So this is still a bit of a shock.

 

[feast or famine]

Oh, falloutcarter, where do I begin? He was one of the most sincere, genuine, kindest souls I've ever had the pleasure of meeting. Our time together was short, but the impact he's made on me will last me a lifetime should I continue to stay here.

I will miss him sorely. We became very close and neither of us expected that - to find each other at a time like this. I'm pained he had to go, but the silver lining is that he is no longer suffering and for that, I am grateful. His soul was too good for this world.

I remember him always telling me that he never wanted me to suffer, that if I could make it out of here alive, he'd be happy for me. If I do make it, I will carry him in my heart for the days I have.

I will miss his wit, kindness, our conversations that lasted until dawn...I will just miss him - a true friend and partner in crime. Wherever he is, I know it's better than here. Rest In Peace, love. I'll see you again.

I also want everyone here to know how much he loved this forum and the members he met here. It warms my heart to know a lot of people valued and appreciated him and what he had to say. He would be so incredibly happy to know that.

 

[Captive of Mind]

He was here yesterday and he said he wasn't leaving until late September. What's going on?

Yeah, I know.. I knew it was going to happen but it's still a shock. He just couldn't take it any longer.

 

[Denise2207]

He slipped away, probably by the method he said he was going to use.
No one knows if it was 'accidental' or not.
But you are right, he said an several occasions he wasn't leaving until late september.
So this is still a bit of a shock.

Its such a shock. hope he's at peace but gutted I couldn't say farewell. @falloutcarter13 you will be missed

 

[Captive of Mind]

My final interaction with falloutcarter wasn't the smoothest, but he was a good man. I hope if he did succeed that he passed peacefully.

Don't worry about it, buddy. I'm sure if we had a choice, we would change a lot of things about the way we are. Also, I'm sure he didn't hold any grudges against you. He told me he wanted to let go of resentment before he passed.

 

[esse_est_percipi]

hope he's at peace but gutted I couldn't say farewell.

I know :(
I wish I could just say one last thing to him...goodbye friend, and thank you

 

[rt1989526]

So how exactly would anyone here know he has CTB'd? but regardless I'm happy for his newfound peace and hope to join soon.

 

[Denise2207]

I know :(
I wish I could just say one last thing to him...goodbye friend, and thank you

@worried_to_death sending you big hugs. Pm me if you need to chat xx

 

[AwokenToReality]

Damn, I hope this is false, but considering his last seen (with how frequent he visited SS) and messages in the thread by users close to him, seems to be true.

Truly saddening. I browse the forum almost everyday and majority of the time just lurk, but I always saw falloutcarter's comments on threads, both compassionate and informative trying to help others on here and cheer people up in what could be their final days. I'm sad I didn't reach out to him and try and engage in a conversation before his passing, but I hope he has found his peace with everything finally, we all have our struggles. Goodybye @falloutcarter13.

 

[esse_est_percipi]

@worried_to_death sending you big hugs. Pm me if you need to chat xx

I didn't exactly know him much better than most others on this forum, but we did chat for quite a bit in PMs and messages in threads.

He was the real deal, I think. The kind of person to make you think .."gosh, I'm so lucky to know that individual, they have so many qualities.."

 

[Deleted member 18655]

I'm feeling everything and nothing all at once. The headline hit me like a lightning bolt. I'm happy for him, heartbroken, jealous, inspired, numb.

 

[Captive of Mind]

So how exactly would anyone here know he has CTB'd? but regardless I'm happy for his newfound peace and hope to join soon.

Just trust me, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt..

 

[Checkmate3]

Was it confirmed in some local news? Can someone please PM me with more information.

Rest in peace friend.

 

[Greenberg]

Rest in peace, my friend!

 

[PJFord]

I'm grateful for his suggestion on purchasing SN. He was the first person I "met" here via PMs. I had an ongoing PM chat with him and it seemed out of character for him not to respond a couple days ago. When he didn't I thought maybe he hopped on the bus. Happy to know we can continue the chat when I CTB soon. Until then, peaceful journey @falloutcarter13.

 

[LostandTired]

Personally surprised considering the abundance of his posting in such a short time frame, he did not leave a goodbye thread. Regardless, here is to him and his peaceful journey.

 

[Nature_is_God]

I sure hope this was false. What horrible news it is if this was true. I'm such a nihilistic and pessimistic person but death has got to be the most goddamn saddest thing that all humans either experience and witness.

 

[Captive of Mind]

I sure hope this was false. What horrible news it is if this was true. I'm such a nihilistic and pessimistic person but death has got to be the most goddamn saddest thing that all humans either experience and/or witness.

I wish it were false too, bud. I thought he was going to see me off, but that sneaky fucker slipped out the back door.
How could I be mad though? He found what we are all looking for.
Is it puzzling to anyone else that we are all here for this one reason, but when it actually happens, it's utterly devastating? My DNA doesn't understand logic.

 

[PJFord]

Is it puzzling to anyone else that we are all here for this one reason, but when it actually happens, it's utterly devastating? My DNA doesn't understand logic.

FallOut was the first person I connected with here. Even though I feel sad for all the good bye posts here, this one has hit me hard.

 

[Wayfaerer]

I didn't think it would be so soon. Did he not post a goodbye thread? How does anyone know if he CTB or not?

 

[esse_est_percipi]

that sneaky fucker slipped out the back door.

classic falloutcarter13 humor

Is it puzzling to anyone else that we are all here for this one reason, but when it actually happens, it's utterly devastating?

I know. It's a paradox.
I'm just reeling from the fact that he's gone :_(

I didn't think it would be so soon. Did he not post a goodbye thread? How does anyone know if he CTB or not?

No goodbye thread.
But he hasn't been seen here for days, and people close to him have confirmed it.
He was messaging the sh*t out of this site ever since he joined, and then all of a sudden nothing. Can only mean one thing.

 

[Captive of Mind]

FallOut was the first person I connected with here. Even though I feel sad for all the good bye posts here, this one has hit me hard.

You stole the words right outta mouth, brother..

 

[Brick In The Wall]

This is never easy when it happens and to the people he was close with I'm sorry for your loss. I can't say that I really knew him but I did enjoy his posts when I came across them. I hope he finally found peace.