Venting In a weird limbo

[gardenofaphrodite]

I keep trying to find reasons to live or try to feel better, but nothing is working. I distract myself with cooking, or games, or even sex- but I just, there's nothing that helps. I want to die, but don't know if the methods I've thought about will work, especially the train one- I know a lot of people don't think it's a good idea, but I genuinely am out of options. I've been timing it at night when it comes by, it's a freight train so there's not a public schedule. If I go through with it it'd be a night, normally more than one comes through at night too.

Idk though, idk if I wanna do it that way either, ideally SN would be what I wanna use, but it's just not an option right now. Gonna try to wait it out some, maybe be able to get SN at some point.

 

[FuneralCry]

I hate how difficult it is to die in this cruel world, it's just so horrible to me how we are denied more peaceful and reliable method options, but anyway I wish you the best with your plans. I get that it's so tiring and awful feeling trapped here when you just really want to be gone.