uniqueusername39
Student
- Mar 7, 2023
- 186
been feeling like the only way I'll ever get myself to do this is by impulse.i know I've wanted this for a long time and i have the things I need,but this tension between life and death frustrates me. thoughts about what will happen after haunt me, I don't have the right to hurt the people who care about me but that's exactly what im going to do. i would be denied a burial by the church which would hurt my catholic parents.i know i shouldn't worry about that because I'll be too dead to worry when it comes. it's just...ive fasted for 8 hours now.i could literally just pop the meto and drink the sn and lay down for a nice long sleep,and never wake up again JUST like how ive always wanted. there is no way i would regret something ive wanted for a long time now.ive made irreversible life decisions before so im not a stranger to this. but i probably won't end up doing it tonight, no matter how ready i am to go.overcoming instinct is my only hurdle now.