Impossible situation. Probably last post

[Lonerzepam]

I'm in an impossible situation. I developed a condition called SJS (Steven Johnsen Syndrome) due to increasing my medication without tlalking to my doctor first. Fuck me. I need that medication to stay alive (Lamotrigine). Btw I can't be put on any other seizure medication don't wanna explain why now in short it treats my hppd not seizures. I got all the symptoms of sjs. It says that if you develope it you have to immediatly stop taking that medication. Forever. I can't even go 1 day without it. If i stop it my hppd will kick in completely and i will be tortured with unbearable pseudodhalluzinations. Even on the med they are unbearable. I know how it was before the med and i can't go back to this I wanted to jump cuz i was so desperate. They just gonna put me in the ward where i will be given antipsychotics which makes it 10000 times worse. The only logical sulotion is ctb now. I burned laal my bridges. I'm shaking as I type this. I'm really fucking scared. But there's no other option. I found a vendor for meto and prop but i can forget about that now. I have to do this now. At least I got SN now. And at least I almost finished my note yesterday. My heartrate is really fast. Dunno if it's a sideeffect of that SJS or me. I hope I don't die from an heartattack and that this will be decently peacefull atleast i have enough benzos. Gonna take like 10mg ativan to calm me down during the process. Cnaa benzos decrease heart rate taa such high doses. Wish i had prop now. Fuck. Tonight I will be at my parents so it will be easier to snseak out. I think I also found a place to not be found in time. Have to make some preperations first. I hope i get to see my sister and my dog one last time. And i hope it doesn't rain tonight if so i need a plan b location. Fuck why has it have to come like this. I guess that's life. Atleast i can put that in my letter so i have an even more good reason. Thanks forum for everything. Maybe I'll update. If u don't hear from me in the next 2 days or so u know where I'm at. I hope i find peace...

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I hope you find your peace, too. I'm sorry you are going through all this. It sounds simply horrifying. Best to you.

 

[Huntfish34]

Damnt,. That all does sound terrifying I agree. Sorry you are having to deal with all of this and that I don't have much to say.

I wish you the best in whatever you may decide. Thoughts and prayers to you always,. Godspeed.

 

[CTB Dream]

This life cruel did this you
Hope peac

 

[Hollowillow]

I'm in an impossible situation. I developed a condition called SJS (Steven Johnsen Syndrome) due to increasing my medication without tlalking to my doctor first. Fuck me. I need that medication to stay alive (Lamotrigine). Btw I can't be put on any other seizure medication don't wanna explain why now in short it treats my hppd not seizures. I got all the symptoms of sjs. It says that if you develope it you have to immediatly stop taking that medication. Forever. I can't even go 1 day without it. If i stop it my hppd will kick in completely and i will be tortured with unbearable pseudodhalluzinations. Even on the med they are unbearable. I know how it was before the med and i can't go back to this I wanted to jump cuz i was so desperate. They just gonna put me in the ward where i will be given antipsychotics which makes it 10000 times worse. The only logical sulotion is ctb now. I burned laal my bridges. I'm shaking as I type this. I'm really fucking scared. But there's no other option. I found a vendor for meto and prop but i can forget about that now. I have to do this now. At least I got SN now. And at least I almost finished my note yesterday. My heartrate is really fast. Dunno if it's a sideeffect of that SJS or me. I hope I don't die from an heartattack and that this will be decently peacefull atleast i have enough benzos. Gonna take like 10mg ativan to calm me down during the process. Cnaa benzos decrease heart rate taa such high doses. Wish i had prop now. Fuck. Tonight I will be at my parents so it will be easier to snseak out. I think I also found a place to not be found in time. Have to make some preperations first. I hope i get to see my sister and my dog one last time. And i hope it doesn't rain tonight if so i need a plan b location. Fuck why has it have to come like this. I guess that's life. Atleast i can put that in my letter so i have an even more good reason. Thanks forum for everything. Maybe I'll update. If u don't hear from me in the next 2 days or so u know where I'm at. I hope i find peace...

I had to do a lot of research. It's so horrible it made me scream inside. I'm having something similar but not as bad due to a chemical in my home. Being peeled alive is agony.

But I think I could cure it.

For the SJS

Stevens-Johnson syndrome-Stevens-Johnson syndrome - Symptoms & causes - Mayo Clinic

Learn more about the causes of this rare disorder of the skin and mucous membranes, its early signs, and whether it's preventable.

www.mayoclinic.org

Stop the medication. Now! All others too, to be sure. Drugs are toxic. There are more effective ways to get the same result.

How bad is it? Did your skin rot off all over or it's just started? It can heal, you get scars and discolorations but you live.

It seems to be an allergic reaction or toxic reaction. Viramin C gets depleeted like mad? I'd take as much as I can hold with greens (broccoli & carrots are the best) chicken legs bone broth. I'd force feed materials to heal.

I had an allergic reaction to mangoes that made my lips burn & crack to blood, blisters on my fingers... Worst reaction... Except the one I have for months right now... And everyone call me crazy even with my face peeled off... My eyes!!! Lungs, gut.... Aaaah agony...

I can't stop being in contact with the poison, it's evetywhere! I can't heal fast enough!

But you can! Stop the medication, you won't die. In fact depression & suicidal are sideceffects of it...

So you're taking lamotrigine not because of seizures, or bpd, but as a side effect of street drugs that never turned off? Sounds like brain damage. It can be fixed.

First stop all drugs to give your brain a chance to reset & recalibrate itself. Just look at things twice without jumping to conclusions. If you see something freaky unreal, remind yourself your brain is dreaming. Give it tome to heal & fully wake up. People would pay a lot to trip on drugs non stop. Too bad it's a bad trip. But if it started by taking drugs... You wanted this. Just give yourself the chance to turn it off.

I'm pretty sure it's all seizures, fun trip or not.

Seizures can be caused by allergic reactions. I react to so many things... Especially chemicals. More chemicals aren't the answer.

I got hit by a car. I stutter, sae double, couldn't detect gravity to walk straight, couldn't spell my name, couldn't type a phone... It. Was. Hell.

I used B vitamins to heal. Shit ton. With vitamin c, to make the collagen glue that holds everything together. The brain is made of nerves. Nerves are made of B vitamins. Lack of B vitamins cause brain damage, psychosis, skizophrenia, dementia... All brain damage.

Need to search stuff. Are B vitamins deficiency liked to

* Seizures YES... B6... B12... Probably all of them but b12 is a big deal. I take massive extra after a B complex 100.

* Authism (Brain damage until any other name is still the same) yes, b12, vitamin d too. (That one was for fun & prove the power of nutrition vs dumb drugs)

* Hallucinations? "Psychiatric manifestations can be associated with vitamin B12 deficiency. These include depression, irritability, dementia, delirium, and hallucinations."

There you go.

B vitamins will replace the drug & actually cure you, vitamin c will heal the flesh.

C & B are the only wayer soluble vitamins. Not stored in fat. Because if your body gets extra it will want to grow stronger. I grew muscles while bed ridden just by force feeding myself those.

I'm really annoying about them because everyone is in AGONY for not having enough in processed food.

It will take longer than something that hides symptoms while destroying you inside... But your flesh won't rot off.

If you'd rather die, I understand. But if everyone knew what I know now, it's medicine that would be doomed to die, not you.

Sorry if I got it wrong about being caused by street drugs. I'm not wrong that vitamin B improves nerve damage though.

BPD is a trauma and my reactive hypoglycemia test looked massively bipolar (high then crash)... Vitamin C helps heal the adrenals that gandle stress with adrenalin, so it helps trauma & anxiety. It stabilizes blood sugar too. B gives energy.

So I'm right even if I'm wrong because you can't go wrong with those.

Vitamin C also helps allergic reactions. I use it as a pain killer. Magnesium relaxes muscles, a deficiency makes us lonely & suicidal.

Now you have options. If I came back from a car accident... You can heal yourself too. But you'd have to cross hell. I don't want to anymore, so it's okay if you'd rather die.

But I really need people to know that they have more options than fucking drugs from the damn medical drug cartel. I loathe them. The pills side effects often worsen what they're supposed to cure!

Chemo gives cancer. Antidepressants causes psychosis & suicide. Pain killers stops healing & make us more sensitive to pain, no wonder people get addicted, they blame their bodies instead of the drug & up the dose!

Guess what is used to make red blood cells & immune cells? Vitamin B & C. Not virus rna injections! Mad!!!

So are you going to put your fate in the hands of the people who made you rot alive? Or are you going to give your body what it needs to accomplish the impossible?

Try it before you die. It's very empowering. I hope it will work fast enough.

I'm sincerely sorry that you had to suffer so much for so long. In the hands of drugs, yeah, you're doomed to rot like a corpse & I'd kill myself in a hurry...

But life is about eating life... I do admit that I take a shit ton of pills but they're dehydrated concentrate of food

By the way I'm not judging you, I just have a vendetta against Pharma.

I'm sorry they hurt you too. Those jerks who don't even know biology...

My dream was to do medical research, specialized in genetics, to create chimeras... Gmo are not done right. I was supposed to become a pharma god before I got sick.

Pharma didn't save me, nature did. Nutrition did. My body did.

So I know I sound like a hippie grandma... But I swear that B vitamins improve brain damage. And not getting enough can cause it. And a lot of people do street drugs to flee how painful it is.

I hope that it will work for you. I don't have the courage anymore. But I needed to give you an option. A whole new world of possibilities.

Does a deficiency of B vitamin makes us suicidal?

"B12 acts as a cofactor in synthesis of neurotransmitters such as serotonin and dopamine"

I thought it was only magnesium

"Once you begin treating your vitamin B12 deficiency, it can take up to six to 12 months to fully recover. It is also common to not experience any improvement during the first few months of treatment."

I saw a difference right away when I took a big B complex with extra B12. I went from lethargic to running in circles in my kitchen I got scared & cut the dose in half to increase vitamin C first to not burn out. I take more now. You should take a shit ton.

Ah! Found it!

"Suicidal thoughts have been observed in patients with low B12 levels"

They only mention B12 not the others?

Google B12 deficiency symptoms to see if you have many of them

Holy shit lack of b12 is linked to incontinence. Maybe from lack of nerve sensation knowing what's going on.

I have symptoms!? Hm... I should up my dose. Nobody is perfect.

Good luck. Trying to fix a nutritional deficiency that makes us hallucinate, kill ouselves & shit ourselves is hard... Just try it?

Nutritional deficiencies are so freaking hard core

This life cruel did this you
Hope peac

Your writing style is short & concize, you're my total opposite. For some reason instead to look down on you I admire you.

 

[Lonerzepam]

I had to do a lot of research. It's so horrible it made me scream inside. I'm having something similar but not as bad due to a chemical in my home. Being peeled alive is agony.

But I think I could cure it.

For the SJS

Stevens-Johnson syndrome-Stevens-Johnson syndrome - Symptoms & causes - Mayo Clinic

Learn more about the causes of this rare disorder of the skin and mucous membranes, its early signs, and whether it's preventable.

www.mayoclinic.org

Stop the medication. Now! All others too, to be sure. Drugs are toxic. There are more effective ways to get the same result.

How bad is it? Did your skin rot off all over or it's just started? It can heal, you get scars and discolorations but you live.

It seems to be an allergic reaction or toxic reaction. Viramin C gets depleeted like mad? I'd take as much as I can hold with greens (broccoli & carrots are the best) chicken legs bone broth. I'd force feed materials to heal.

I had an allergic reaction to mangoes that made my lips burn & crack to blood, blisters on my fingers... Worst reaction... Except the one I have for months right now... And everyone call me crazy even with my face peeled off... My eyes!!! Lungs, gut.... Aaaah agony...

I can't stop being in contact with the poison, it's evetywhere! I can't heal fast enough!

But you can! Stop the medication, you won't die. In fact depression & suicidal are sideceffects of it...

So you're taking lamotrigine not because of seizures, or bpd, but as a side effect of street drugs that never turned off? Sounds like brain damage. It can be fixed.

First stop all drugs to give your brain a chance to reset & recalibrate itself. Just look at things twice without jumping to conclusions. If you see something freaky unreal, remind yourself your brain is dreaming. Give it tome to heal & fully wake up. People would pay a lot to trip on drugs non stop. Too bad it's a bad trip. But if it started by taking drugs... You wanted this. Just give yourself the chance to turn it off.

I'm pretty sure it's all seizures, fun trip or not.

Seizures can be caused by allergic reactions. I react to so many things... Especially chemicals. More chemicals aren't the answer.

I got hit by a car. I stutter, sae double, couldn't detect gravity to walk straight, couldn't spell my name, couldn't type a phone... It. Was. Hell.

I used B vitamins to heal. Shit ton. With vitamin c, to make the collagen glue that holds everything together. The brain is made of nerves. Nerves are made of B vitamins. Lack of B vitamins cause brain damage, psychosis, skizophrenia, dementia... All brain damage.

Need to search stuff. Are B vitamins deficiency liked to

* Seizures YES... B6... B12... Probably all of them but b12 is a big deal. I take massive extra after a B complex 100.

* Authism (Brain damage until any other name is still the same) yes, b12, vitamin d too. (That one was for fun & prove the power of nutrition vs dumb drugs)

* Hallucinations? "Psychiatric manifestations can be associated with vitamin B12 deficiency. These include depression, irritability, dementia, delirium, and hallucinations."

There you go.

B vitamins will replace the drug & actually cure you, vitamin c will heal the flesh.

C & B are the only wayer soluble vitamins. Not stored in fat. Because if your body gets extra it will want to grow stronger. I grew muscles while bed ridden just by force feeding myself those.

I'm really annoying about them because everyone is in AGONY for not having enough in processed food.

It will take longer than something that hides symptoms while destroying you inside... But your flesh won't rot off.

If you'd rather die, I understand. But if everyone knew what I know now, it's medicine that would be doomed to die, not you.

Sorry if I got it wrong about being caused by street drugs. I'm not wrong that vitamin B improves nerve damage though.

BPD is a trauma and my reactive hypoglycemia test looked massively bipolar (high then crash)... Vitamin C helps heal the adrenals that gandle stress with adrenalin, so it helps trauma & anxiety. It stabilizes blood sugar too. B gives energy.

So I'm right even if I'm wrong because you can't go wrong with those.

Vitamin C also helps allergic reactions. I use it as a pain killer. Magnesium relaxes muscles, a deficiency makes us lonely & suicidal.

Now you have options. If I came back from a car accident... You can heal yourself too. But you'd have to cross hell. I don't want to anymore, so it's okay if you'd rather die.

But I really need people to know that they have more options than fucking drugs from the damn medical drug cartel. I loathe them. The pills side effects often worsen what they're supposed to cure!

Chemo gives cancer. Antidepressants causes psychosis & suicide. Pain killers stops healing & make us more sensitive to pain, no wonder people get addicted, they blame their bodies instead of the drug & up the dose!

Guess what is used to make red blood cells & immune cells? Vitamin B & C. Not virus rna injections! Mad!!!

So are you going to put your fate in the hands of the people who made you rot alive? Or are you going to give your body what it needs to accomplish the impossible?

Try it before you die. It's very empowering. I hope it will work fast enough.

I'm sincerely sorry that you had to suffer so much for so long. In the hands of drugs, yeah, you're doomed to rot like a corpse & I'd kill myself in a hurry...

But life is about eating life... I do admit that I take a shit ton of pills but they're dehydrated concentrate of food

By the way I'm not judging you, I just have a vendetta against Pharma.

I'm sorry they hurt you too. Those jerks who don't even know biology...

My dream was to do medical research, specialized in genetics, to create chimeras... Gmo are not done right. I was supposed to become a pharma god before I got sick.

Pharma didn't save me, nature did. Nutrition did. My body did.

So I know I sound like a hippie grandma... But I swear that B vitamins improve brain damage. And not getting enough can cause it. And a lot of people do street drugs to flee how painful it is.

I hope that it will work for you. I don't have the courage anymore. But I needed to give you an option. A whole new world of possibilities.

Does a deficiency of B vitamin makes us suicidal?

"B12 acts as a cofactor in synthesis of neurotransmitters such as serotonin and dopamine"

I thought it was only magnesium

"Once you begin treating your vitamin B12 deficiency, it can take up to six to 12 months to fully recover. It is also common to not experience any improvement during the first few months of treatment."

I saw a difference right away when I took a big B complex with extra B12. I went from lethargic to running in circles in my kitchen I got scared & cut the dose in half to increase vitamin C first to not burn out. I take more now. You should take a shit ton.

Ah! Found it!

"Suicidal thoughts have been observed in patients with low B12 levels"

They only mention B12 not the others?

Google B12 deficiency symptoms to see if you have many of them

Holy shit lack of b12 is linked to incontinence. Maybe from lack of nerve sensation knowing what's going on.

I have symptoms!? Hm... I should up my dose. Nobody is perfect.

Good luck. Trying to fix a nutritional deficiency that makes us hallucinate, kill ouselves & shit ourselves is hard... Just try it?

Nutritional deficiencies are so freaking hard core

Your writing style is short & concize, you're my total opposite. For some reason instead to look down on you I admire you.

Thanks man I really appreciate your words. But understand that without that medication i would be already dead. So i can't go without. I need to go. I'm sorry

 

[Hollowillow]

Thanks man I really appreciate your words. But understand that without that medication i would be already dead. So i can't go without. I need to go. I'm sorry

No you wouldn't be dead. Just bad tripping massively. It's making you suicidal (side effect) and literally making you rot to death.

Don't get me wrong, I'm pro extinction of the whole human race.

But I don't think you're doomed. And that shitty medicine isn't your savior. Your body is! Give it what it needs to repair itself & it will.

Tell me more about why you think you'd be dead?

You're going to die anyway by killing yourself. Or die from the medication. How about killing yourself by stopping the medication? It seems like your best chance at survival.

Did you hallucinate clowns? I'd rather die indeed. Spiders would be cool. Why was it worse than pills that makes your flesh rot off for real?

 

[Lonerzepam]

It's not like those hallunzinations with spiders n shit i wish i had those tbh. No it's pseudohalluzinations. I know they are not real. But they fuck up my brain completely. Like objects spinning around afterimages intense visual snow. You can google hppd thats how it is called and i have it extremely severe. Other medication doesnt work. I just paid 50 fucking € to ask an online doctor and he told me that if it's proven SJS i can never take it again. That's basically my death sentence. I'll die with it I'll die without it. Might end this all finally and die in peace...

 

[Hollowillow]

It's not like those hallunzinations with spiders n shit i wish i had those tbh. No it's pseudohalluzinations. I know they are not real. But they fuck up my brain completely. Like objects spinning around afterimages intense visual snow. You can google hppd thats how it is called and i have it extremely severe. Other medication doesnt work. I just paid 50 fucking € to ask an online doctor and he told me that if it's proven SJS i can never take it again. That's basically my death sentence. I'll die with it I'll die without it. Might end this all finally and die in peace...

So... Instead of hallucinating a full clown and not knowing it's not real... You see things move and you know your brain doesn't interprete your eyes correctly. It sounds like your hallucinations would be from a less severe brain damage than the full blown psychosis that lack of B12 can cause.

If you'd rather die, I totally feel you. How? Take me.

What bothers me is the "impossible" in your title.

I think that if my brain damaged could be improved without pills, yours can too.

What triggeted it? Drug bad trip? Compared to being hit in the head by a car, seems easier to heal. Unless you poisonned the whole brain... Yeah I prefer being hit by a car, I am poisonned by a stupid cleaner nonstop... I can't remove it! It makes me intensely suicidal. I suffered agony before, but poison is the worst.

I think you have a chance if you try something else than the shitty medical industry. They did worse than fail me, they almost killed me.

Why do you think seeing stuff spin is worse than having your skin rot off from the drug?

Well... Just remember that B vitamins can heal nerve damage, and the brain is a ball of nerve... If you wish to try...

But if you wish to nope out... Any tips for me to do it too?

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds really horrifying what you are going through. I cannot even imagine. Such a cruel world that brings people to this desperate point. I wish you freedom from all suffering.