disabledlife
Arcanist
- Jun 5, 2020
- 411
I'm thinking about CTB soon, once I have taken the last steps in my life, like tidying up for example, even if I am tired, exhausted all the time...
Because I can't take my body anymore, I have suffered too much from it, my size, the harassment, my pain, my illnesses, my disabilities, the rejections of others, the fact of having stopped my studies against my will , etc., etc!!
I've always hated my shitty body, it's worthless, it's ugly, uninteresting, rotten both outside and inside!! I would have liked to destroy it completely because I don't trust what people will do with it, once they find me, I'm afraid they will bury me, and that it will benefit the community. nature, the nature that allowed my birth and my shitty life!
I'm afraid that people will take my organs, sell them, do scientific experiments with them, try to steal my knowledge, or even try to clone me, resuscitate me if science evolves...
I don't want anyone to take my organs, for science for example, especially not my brain. So, I would have liked to be sure that my body would be reduced to ashes after having CTB (I think with N, SN, exit bag, etc.), I thought about a car, a van, a utility vehicle, and to be sure that no one can put out the fire before my body is totally destroyed. I thought about going to an isolated place, with nothing around for miles. And so that no one can see the smoke.
I'm not sure this is possible, I'm afraid the fire will go out on its own, and even that it won't start.
Because I can't take my body anymore, I have suffered too much from it, my size, the harassment, my pain, my illnesses, my disabilities, the rejections of others, the fact of having stopped my studies against my will , etc., etc!!
I've always hated my shitty body, it's worthless, it's ugly, uninteresting, rotten both outside and inside!! I would have liked to destroy it completely because I don't trust what people will do with it, once they find me, I'm afraid they will bury me, and that it will benefit the community. nature, the nature that allowed my birth and my shitty life!
I'm afraid that people will take my organs, sell them, do scientific experiments with them, try to steal my knowledge, or even try to clone me, resuscitate me if science evolves...
I don't want anyone to take my organs, for science for example, especially not my brain. So, I would have liked to be sure that my body would be reduced to ashes after having CTB (I think with N, SN, exit bag, etc.), I thought about a car, a van, a utility vehicle, and to be sure that no one can put out the fire before my body is totally destroyed. I thought about going to an isolated place, with nothing around for miles. And so that no one can see the smoke.
I'm not sure this is possible, I'm afraid the fire will go out on its own, and even that it won't start.
