Venting i'm worried about how my suicide will affect my partner

[lost.ghost]

my partner has dealt with depression for a long time, they also deal with suicidal thoughts. i know i will kill myself sometime soon, and i'm scared about how it will affect them. i feel guilty for having plans to kill myself while i have a partner, because i know how hard it will be for them. this is a small vent but i needed to get it out. i'm so fucking sad

 

[Nem]

Sorry things are so rough, feeling bad about how others will be affected by my suicide has caused me to hang on but it is getting tougher by the minute. It's a catch 22 situation unfortunately
Peace/hugs

 

[AmDead]

If you think on the really positive side, maybe if you die, that will cause your partner to also ctb, because they have suicidal thoughts as well. You could rest peacefully together.
sorry if this offends you or you want your partner to live a long happy life. It's just the way I see it.

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

I can empathize with you strongly. My husband is a recovering alcoholic and I am positive my suicide would cause a relapse. It will derail his recovery, likely cause him to lose his job, and he'll be worse off than he ever was before. It will be all my fault, because I was too weak to deal with the shit life through at me.

If I had to endure what he's endured in life, I likely would've killed myself long ago. He's much stronger than me, so he doesn't consider suicide as an option. I wish he'd want to go with me, but he has a big family and they'd be so sad.

Ideally, I'd get him to fall out of love with me, he'd leave me, and then I could just worry about myself.