Venting I'm unneeded in all of my friend groups

[kvorumese]

I love my friends, but I have finally opened my eyes and see that with the exception of 2 people, two of my beloved friend groups would be fine without me. One more reason to die.

 

[Pon]

Such is often the case, we are burdened with knowledge and the capability to understand the shallowness of those around us all too often.
I am sorry to hear that your friend groups do not care about you. Your voice is heard here and the pain you feel is felt!
I personally avoid groups myself, because I feel as though it is impossible to truly care about many people equally as much― past a certain point you are forced to make exceptions and exclusions, and you have a pretense that everyone is so close to you when they really are not and your feelings may not be the same towards each other. So I think having a few friends, but having them very close and integrated in your life, is far more valuable than having a group or too many friends for that very reason.

There comes a point in a crowd where you start feeling less like a name and more like a number, after all.

 

[NeedAnEscape]

That's a really difficult feeling. I made this realization a long time ago, and I wanted to believe my low self-esteem was just making me think the worst of people, but I did lose a lot of my friends last summer. The situation was complicated, but after a long time of reflection, I realize now that I clung to bad relationships from a desperate desire to feel loved during the worst of my mental health struggles, which caused my friends to distance themselves from me. While I understand their reasoning, I wish the situation could have been handled different; perhaps, I could have escaped a bad situation sooner and still retained some genuine friends in the process. But, I know that they weren't always the good friends that I made them out to be, even though I adored them with all my heart. I've made new friends since then, but I don't feel nearly as connected to them as I did with my old group of friends. Cherish the good friends you have; those people will matter the most in the long run.

 

[kvorumese]

Such is often the case, we are burdened with knowledge and the capability to understand the shallowness of those around us all too often.
I am sorry to hear that your friend groups do not care about you. Your voice is heard here and the pain you feel is felt!
I personally avoid groups myself, because I feel as though it is impossible to truly care about many people equally as much― past a certain point you are forced to make exceptions and exclusions, and you have a pretense that everyone is so close to you when they really are not and your feelings may not be the same towards each other. So I think having a few friends, but having them very close and integrated in your life, is far more valuable than having a group or too many friends for that very reason.

There comes a point in a crowd where you start feeling less like a name and more like a number, after all.

That is the thing... I am in 3 friend groups, none larger than 5 people. We aren't crowds and I used to think that we were all always closely intertwined. But lately I've been noticing that my presence is often ignored, my absence is disregarded, plans are made without me, I'm missing out on local jokes. I don't want to think that they all are consciously avoiding me, but it is evident that I'm not needed. Maybe I would need to be more outgoing, maybe this world isn't for introverts.

I want to be alone, but when I'm with my friends, I want to be alone with my friends. They make me feel like I'm alone in the presence of my friends. Does that make sense..?

 

[Praestat_Mori]

1 or 2 true friends in life are hard to find and a true friend is worth much more than 100 friends in groups that are only "friends" but they don't stay with you when it becomes difficult in life.

 

[sadalways]

Very relatable, last year i told my "friends" about depression and suicidal thoughts and they kicked me out of the group and haven't messaged me at all because i gave "bad vibes". Knew them for like 3 years before that happened. Really difficult to trust people these days, but i'm naive and continue to do so. If you do find those true friends though, that care about you, keep them really close to you.

 

[Reflection]

I've noticed that a lot of friend groups are shallow. I think It's better to have one or two really good friends than many who would turn their backs the second they have no need of you anymore.

 

[kvorumese]

I've noticed that a lot of friend groups are shallow. I think It's better to have one or two really good friends than many who would turn their backs the second they have no need of you anymore.

I've spent 5+ years for most of my friends and ~2 years with some of them. I don't want to believe that they hate me

 

[slinkey10]

That is the thing... I am in 3 friend groups, none larger than 5 people. We aren't crowds and I used to think that we were all always closely intertwined. But lately I've been noticing that my presence is often ignored, my absence is disregarded, plans are made without me, I'm missing out on local jokes. I don't want to think that they all are consciously avoiding me, but it is evident that I'm not needed. Maybe I would need to be more outgoing, maybe this world isn't for introverts.

I want to be alone, but when I'm with my friends, I want to be alone with my friends. They make me feel like I'm alone in the presence of my friends. Does that make sense..?

My reactive response would be to leave all those groups, say bye before & you're all c***s & log out. But probably no one will even notice, like u say, and you will end up feeling lonely & worse.

Maybe just dont say anything or, do an auto response "that was the best thing ive ever heard" ... wait & see if anyone picks up. If not leave these fake ppl behind.

 

[kvorumese]

My reactive response would be to leave all those groups, say bye before & you're all c***s & log out. But probably no one will even notice, like u say, and you will end up feeling lonely & worse.

Maybe just dont say anything or, do an auto response "that was the best thing ive ever heard" ... wait & see if anyone picks up. If not leave these fake ppl behind.

I don't feel like they're fake... These people have helped me through some tough times. Maybe I'm just not doing enough. I'm a very reserved person and my social interactions are limited. But then again, it always feels like there are "a duo in a trio" situations nowadays, I'm just always the last one to be considered. In spite of how much we all know about each other, in spite of how much we all did for each other, it now feels like I am barely of importance.
I'll keep them around. I really can't let go of people, I've been struggling to let go of one certain person for 4+ years now (probably more), so I'm definitely not ridding myself of any friend group. It might affect me

 

[WeDontKnowTheFuture]

I understand pretty well how awful it is to not feel integrated in a group. I myself never felt in my place in any large group ( more than 2,3 person and me ). contacts may become more superficial and deep discussions rare. If they doesn't give you a true place within the group, you can eventually talk about it to a trusted member of the group or more.

 

[maniac116]

Wow! You have a friend group? You're lucky!