Im try to kill myself tonight

[glitterpvppy]

I've heard varying things about sodium nitrate. I got the wrong one, but I can't stop myself from taking SOMETHING. I need to die tonight. Will 66g of sodium nitrate kill me? I'm 110lbs.
I need an answer asap. If it doesn't work, I'm going to try partial hanging. I'm 50% sure this isn't going to work but I have to do something

 

[chloeburbank]

nitrate won't kill you

 

[glitterpvppy]

nitrate won't kill you

It's annoying how some sources say it can but others say it won't

 

[vascomorrow]

I've heard varying things about sodium nitrate. I got the wrong one, but I can't stop myself from taking SOMETHING. I need to die tonight. Will 66g of sodium nitrate kill me? I'm 110lbs.
I need an answer asap. If it doesn't work, I'm going to try partial hanging. I'm 50% sure this isn't going to work but I have to do something

Did something trigger you today?

 

[glitterpvppy]

Did something trigger you today?

Yes. I'm a wreck right now. I just got off the phone with my partner who told me they broke up with me because being with me made them want to kill himself and me trying to help is making it worst. I have severe abandonment issues. We were working things out when he randomly cut contact with me. I lost my shit. The day before, he told me we were going to have a future together but now I'm being told that if I'm in his life, I make him want to die. I feel like there's future for me. I have no friends. I never leave the house. My life was only good when he and I were together. My future seemed bright when he promised to be in it. But now the best thing for us is if I'm gone. I want him to get better. I want him to be happy. So that's why i have to get rid of myself.
I've always had mental health issues. I've tried working them through, but no matter what I don't see a future for myself. I just want to end it even more now. I crave love more than anything but nobody has ever understood me and cared about me the same way he did. Nobody ever reaches out to me. Not even strangers. I just feel like a waste of life

nitrate won't kill you

What will it do then?

nitrate won't kill you

What will it do then?

 

[vascomorrow]

Yes. I'm a wreck right now. I just got off the phone with my partner who told me they broke up with me because being with me made them want to kill himself and me trying to help is making it worst. I have severe abandonment issues. We were working things out when he randomly cut contact with me. I lost my shit. The day before, he told me we were going to have a future together but now I'm being told that if I'm in his life, I make him want to die. I feel like there's future for me. I have no friends. I never leave the house. My life was only good when he and I were together. My future seemed bright when he promised to be in it. But now the best thing for us is if I'm gone. I want him to get better. I want him to be happy. So that's why i have to get rid of myself.
I've always had mental health issues. I've tried working them through, but no matter what I don't see a future for myself. I just want to end it even more now. I crave love more than anything but nobody has ever understood me and cared about me the same way he did. Nobody ever reaches out to me. Not even strangers. I just feel like a waste of life

What will it do then?

What will it do then?

Im sorry this is happening to you. I completely understand, ive had 2 partners tell me that they want to die because of my personality. One actually did kill herself, and it really crushed me when I found her body. October 20th will be 6 years since thats happened.
Ive been single since and dont care to find anyone else, I also have no friends. Im always alone and all I do is work then go home and get drunk every night. Then repeat.

We understand you here, vent to us.

 

[glitterpvppy]

Yes. I'm a wreck right now. I just got off the phone with my partner who told me they broke up with me because being with me made them want to kill himself and me trying to help is making it worst. I have severe abandonment issues. We were working things out when he randomly cut contact with me. I lost my shit. The day before, he told me we were going to have a future together but now I'm being told that if I'm in his life, I make him want to die. I feel like there's future for me. I have no friends. I never leave the house. My life was only good when he and I were together. My future seemed bright when he promised to be in it. But now the best thing for us is if I'm gone. I want him to get better. I want him to be happy. So that's why i have to get rid of myself.
I've always had mental health issues. I've tried working them through, but no matter what I don't see a future for myself. I just want to end it even more now. I crave love more than anything but nobody has ever understood me and cared about me the same way he did. Nobody ever reaches out to me. Not even strangers. I just feel like a waste of life

Im sorry this is happening to you. I completely understand, ive had 2 partners tell me that they want to die because of my personality. One actually did kill herself, and it really crushed me when I found her body. October 20th will be 6 years since thats happened.
Ive been single since and dont care to find anyone else, I also have no friends. Im always alone and all I do is work then go home and get drunk every night. Then repeat.

We understand you here, vent to us.

It's so hard to find community. That's part of why I joined this forum, but I still feel disconnected.

 

[vascomorrow]

It's so hard to find community. That's part of why I joined this forum, but I still feel disconnected.

Me too. I think of suicide a lot, but coming here and reading the posts helps me. I hope you find some peace.

It's so hard to find community. That's part of why I joined this forum, but I still feel disconnected.

Everyone here has issues and hard times, youre not alone.

 

[louboutinsuicide]

you don't necessarily have to rid yourself off plane of existence to try and ease someone. i sometimes think in the same way but rationally losing someone to breakup vs losing someone to suicide same level of pain if not veering towards the latter because of unanswered questions. i'd like to think i can still prosper without the person i am stuck on. i've realized that only alone i can gather the resources and stability to become a good partner. it's unfortunate, i recently stepped into an intertwining knowing it would fuck me completely. and now i'm fucked up completely.
can't feel abandoned when there's no body to abandon yoy i've honestly found it more peaceful to be alone. especially since i was in a place (rehab) that barred me from intertwining and forced me to gather evidence that yes, it is possible for me to survive without being in a relationship. FUCK THAT REALITY THO I WISH it was different ^___^