Venting I'm too soft for this world

[Local_Trash]

I can't handle the idea that the people around me do not even harsh drugs. I hate weed. I grew up surrounded by weed. My mother would go crazy over it if we didn't give it to her. She made my father spend more money on weed then food for my siblings and I. My dad tried to make us help him grow shrooms but they didn't grow right. My father micro doses shroom chocolate bars to be happy but it still makes me sick to think about. My father is handicapped so he also takes many pills. My ex boyfriend lied for a year an a half about doing drugs like weed and nicotine and made me feel crazy for suspecting him. Why am I such a baby? Why can't I get over my trauma but at the same time I don't want to. Weed is still illegal where I live but it won't be soon. Many people smoke it but it makes me sick and want to die. Should I end my life because of this never ending grudge? I can't handle this anymore. I'm fine with using drugs to ctb but that's it. Why can't I grow up? I don't want to though. Kill me.

 

[Kempel556]

I think some drugs like nicotine are fine to take, I couldn´t even get my morning started without smoking a cigarette, they just help me get trough the day. I used to smoke weed on a regular basis but I quit smoking it because it was only making me paranoid about stuff. My real demon now are benzos I tried to quit them many times but couldn´t. But with the things you have gone trough with your family its normal for it to leave a trauma, alot of people don´t like using drugs or be around people who do them so its pretty normal

 

[Local_Trash]

I think some drugs like nicotine are fine to take, I couldn´t even get my morning started without smoking a cigarette, they just help me get trough the day. I used to smoke weed on a regular basis but I quit smoking it because it was only making me paranoid about stuff. My real demon now are benzos I tried to quit them many times but couldn´t. But with the things you have gone trough with your family its normal for it to leave a trauma, alot of people don´t like using drugs or be around people who do them so its pretty normal

Yeah I don't mind cigarettes its just everything else that makes me so upset. I was just fighting with my ex after this post and he told me to just grow up.

 

[alterationitfinds]

i understand where you are coming from but i don't think it's something to ctb over. if anything i would just cut off contact with your ex

 

[Local_Trash]

i understand where you are coming from but i don't think it's something to ctb over. if anything i would just cut off contact with your ex

Still, I feel like it haunts me. Where I live all round me are people who do that stuff. My ex definitely makes it worse but I can't help but be drawn into the toxic cycle we have. Is he right though? Do I need to grow up?

 

[EternalShore]

I can't handle the idea that the people around me do not even harsh drugs. I hate weed. I grew up surrounded by weed. My mother would go crazy over it if we didn't give it to her. She made my father spend more money on weed then food for my siblings and I. My dad tried to make us help him grow shrooms but they didn't grow right. My father micro doses shroom chocolate bars to be happy but it still makes me sick to think about. My father is handicapped so he also takes many pills. My ex boyfriend lied for a year an a half about doing drugs like weed and nicotine and made me feel crazy for suspecting him. Why am I such a baby? Why can't I get over my trauma but at the same time I don't want to. Weed is still illegal where I live but it won't be soon. Many people smoke it but it makes me sick and want to die. Should I end my life because of this never ending grudge? I can't handle this anymore. I'm fine with using drugs to ctb but that's it. Why can't I grow up? I don't want to though. Kill me.

oh, yeah, same! rofl. I just view that pretty much everyone became poisoned at about 14 and lost their childishness! :( Meanwhile, I maintained my childish conscience and still can't deal with stuff like that either! >_< It doesn't make me want to ctb (and idk why it would for you unless it's significantly impacting your life negatively), but I'm never going to be tolerant of that type of stuff! :/ Which does make it even harder to socialize! >_<
Also, since you're talking about drugs, they're the ones who need to grow up! rofl. Not you! For other topics, I am clearly the one and straight-up don't care, but for this one, we're both definitely right! >_<

 

[Kempel556]

Yeah I don't mind cigarettes its just everything else that makes me so upset. I was just fighting with my ex after this post and he told me to just grow up.

And you have the right to not like those things, my parents don´t like them as well, they are even always criticizing me for smoking cigarettes

 

[alterationitfinds]

i get the toxic cycle of the high highs and the low lows but if you can acknowledge that they're making you want to ctb more then cutting him off is very pertinent